"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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A Girls 1st time....

Climax

Master Don Juan
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A girl friend of mine sent this to me and i thought that i would share;)

*A Girl's First Time*
>
>
> (Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
>
>
> It's your first time.
>
>
> As you lie back, your muscles tighten.
>
>
> You put him off for a while
>
>
> searching for an excuse,
>
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> but he refuses to
>
>
> be swayed as he approaches you.
>
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> He asks if you're afraid
>
>
> and you
>
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> shake your head bravely.
>
>
> He has had more experience, but it's the first
>
>
> time his finger has found the right place.
>
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> He probes deeply and you shiver;
>
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> your body tenses
>
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> but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
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>
> He looks deeply within your eyes
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> and tells you to trust him
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> he's done this many times before.
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> His cool smile relaxes you
>
>
> and you
>
>
> open wider
>
>
> to give him more room for an easy entrance.
>
>
> You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
>
>
> but he slowly takes his time,
>
>
> wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
>
>
> As he presses closer,
>
>
> going deeper,
>
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> you feel the tissue give way;
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> pain surges throughout your body
>
>
> and you
>
>
> feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
>
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> He looks at you concerned
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> and asks you if it's too painful.
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> Your eyes are filled with tears
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> but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.
>
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> He begins going in and out with skill
>
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> but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
>
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> After a few moments, you feel
>
>
> something bursting within you
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> and he pulls it out of you.
>
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> You lay panting, glad to have it over.
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> He looks at you
>
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> and smiling warmly,
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> tells you, with a chuckle that you have been
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> his most
>
>
> stubborn
>
>
> yet most rewarding experience.
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> You smile and thank your dentist.
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> After all,it was your first time


























to have a tooth
>
>
> pulled.
>
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> Naughty, Naughty!
>
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> What were you thinkin' ?
>
>
> PERVERT
>
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> I know what you were thinking,
>
>
> because I thought the same thing!



:D


Laterz...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Layla

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HA! Thats awesome. I gota send that to a chick.
 

Silquee Smoove

Master Don Juan
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Alright, I'll post this anecdote about a friend of a friend who went to see a dentist (D.D.S.) about getting a tooth extracted, but didn't want to pay for the anesthesia, as it would cost extra. So he decided to go and get as drunk as possible and then have all his wisdom teeth pulled, well even in his drunken state he felt a lot of the pain and he could tell he was bleeding, so he toughed it out, but at the end it took everything he had not to punch the dentist in the jaw as he was getting up and leaving the office.

This things people will do to save money...:rolleyes:
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Bump.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Climax

Master Don Juan
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Bump...

Last Bump.
 
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