"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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A girl with a boring-ass boyfriend likes me

A

ANihilistWithFriends

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So there's a girl at my school who really seems to have a crush on me, only problem is that she has a boyfriend, who is boring and honestly a *****. They've been together since Christmas and he hasn't dared to make a move towards sex in all that time. Every time I enter a room where she is in, she's the first to yell "Hi!", she always stays a little extra to speak with me, etc.

The last party we we're at, she hugged me 3 times, kissed me on the cheek and mouth during the whole night and intervened her fingers between mine. It didn't get anything more than flirty as her boyfriend were there too and it got awkward. I've been friendzoned by her before, but escaped it by ignoring her, flirting with other girls in-front of her and becoming a popular in my social circle.

A weird thing happened yesterday, as she messaged me on facebook, keep in mind that we always joke on facebook and stuff, the conversation basically went like this:

Me: "Shouldn't we hang out outside school and watch south-park together soon? :p"

Her: "That was a very good idea.. But then it should be at your place... I have not seen your house yet :)"

Me: "Friday, Saturday or Monday next week?"

Her: "Monday next week sounds good! :)"

Me: "deal! :)"

Her: "deal. I am stalking your profile [MY NICKNAME]...! ;)"

Me: "That's okay, you aren't the only one who has a crush one me! :)"

Her: "Oh..[NICKNAME] how could you know? ;)"

Me: "Know what?"

Her: "My giant crush... oh no i said it gulp.. what do i do?.. help oh no"

Me: "Haha :)"

Her: "I wouldn't mind doing you! ;)[OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BASICALLY IN MY LANGUAGE]"

Me: ":)"

Now she suddenly changes subject out of nowhere, and starts speaking about snow outside her window.

What could I have done better? What shall I do now if I get with her? How do I avoid getting friend-zoned again?

Keep in mind that she has a boyfriend, also skip any morale speculations, and just give me advice. Thank you for your time!
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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NorwegianDJ

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Hit it while it's hot dude. Monday's your day.

As for the convo, you should've increased the tension, you seem like you're uncomfortable with being sexual.

Watch the whole video, there's an example of what I mean somewhere in it towards the middle-end, how Julien talks about a 'ball of emotions inbetween you': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU
 
A

ANihilistWithFriends

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NorwegianDJ said:
Hit it while it's hot dude. Monday's your day.

As for the convo, you should've increased the tension, you seem like you're uncomfortable with being sexual.

Watch the whole video, there's an example of what I mean somewhere in it towards the middle-end, how Julien talks about a 'ball of emotions inbetween you': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU
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Hmm, I think I am hesitating with the sexuality because I am afraid of a rejection with this girl. The reason that I got even more scared was because I could not tell if she was joking or not, another thing is that the boyfriend and her is in the same class as me, and a rejection would make it so ****ing awkward. Thank you for that link though!!!!
 
A

ANihilistWithFriends

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He isn't gonna fight me, he's just gonna get angry/sad.
Thank you for the link Norwegian.

I am considering keeping contact with her to a minimum the rest of the week to increase tension. Should I do that?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ANihilistWithFriends

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I am really relieved to hear all of this, the thing that I am most unsure about is whether she was joking or serious when writing that. But I'm gonna throw the dice and say ****-all at Monday.
 
BPH

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The reason she sounded like she was joking was because women don't like to be rejected, so she wanted to see your reaction. You weren't as sexual as you should have been but that's fine.

Hang out with her on Monday. She suggested your place so she knows what she's getting in to. Just have a condom on hand.
 
A

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A small update, keep in mind that we're from the same school and class when I tell you this.

Today was a success, heavy kino, I was constantly flirting with others in-front of her and when she wanted my attention I was flirty and ****y/funny towards her. Right before I left, we we're alone for like 5 seconds and I could feel the tension between us moving through my body, 30 seconds more and I would have made out with her.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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A

ANihilistWithFriends

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Last update, it ****ed up.

I where at her place, we we're watching funny video-clips and stuff, and actually had heavy kino once in a while, but every time the chance for a kiss almost was there, it didn't work out. I think that both me and her had a bad conscience about her boyfriend who is in the same class as me and her.

Or I just didn't know what to do at the 'almost kissing' moment. Anyway, this didn't work out. Gonna move on to another girl unless she takes an initiative.

The lesson I learned from this was that bad conscience is a huge handicap and that I need to study more on the heavy kino/almost kissing moment. Can any of you guys point me at anything or write me some tips about making the jump between heavy kino and kissing?
 
N

NorwegianDJ

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Just do it.
Use your hand to position her and lean in.
Say something along the lines of, "I wanna kiss you so bad right now" if you dont have the balls to go straight in.
 
A

ANihilistWithFriends

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Thanks for the tip, I often over-analyses **** and makes it less banal and simple than it really is.
However, this girl is not worth the time that I could spend with others girls who genuinely wants me. Gonna have a small party at my place Friday, the girls there are at least as hot as this other girl is so I'm gonna have a fvcking blast!
 
N

Nino-Tk

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You were at her place!? Man you should've taken the opportunity and capitalized, the Gods had granted you that girl man...well there really is no other way to give to you, have some balls and go through with it, fu*k the guy man, this is manna from heave, take advantage unless that guy is your mate.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ANihilistWithFriends

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Nino-Tk said:
You were at her place!? Man you should've taken the opportunity and capitalized, the Gods had granted you that girl man...well there really is no other way to give to you, have some balls and go through with it, fu*k the guy man, this is manna from heave, take advantage unless that guy is your mate.
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That's the problem, I don't know if he's my mate. He's pretty cool to hang around with, but he is also a dead-end, he's that guy who spends the parties drinking energy drinks and playing foosball/table foot ball, with his best friend who is a very unattractive girl. The most sexual he and the girl have done is kissing goodbye.

I like him, but he's not the kinda person that I am going to stick around with, he is as temporary comrade.
 
A

ANihilistWithFriends

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Gonna go for her, she's accustomed to my touch, and was really flirty today because I practically ignored her yesterday. Next time I am alone with her, I can escalate even further physically.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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