"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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A girl with a boring-ass boyfriend likes me

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So there's a girl at my school who really seems to have a crush on me, only problem is that she has a boyfriend, who is boring and honestly a *****. They've been together since Christmas and he hasn't dared to make a move towards sex in all that time. Every time I enter a room where she is in, she's the first to yell "Hi!", she always stays a little extra to speak with me, etc.

The last party we we're at, she hugged me 3 times, kissed me on the cheek and mouth during the whole night and intervened her fingers between mine. It didn't get anything more than flirty as her boyfriend were there too and it got awkward. I've been friendzoned by her before, but escaped it by ignoring her, flirting with other girls in-front of her and becoming a popular in my social circle.

A weird thing happened yesterday, as she messaged me on facebook, keep in mind that we always joke on facebook and stuff, the conversation basically went like this:

Me: "Shouldn't we hang out outside school and watch south-park together soon? :p"

Her: "That was a very good idea.. But then it should be at your place... I have not seen your house yet :)"

Me: "Friday, Saturday or Monday next week?"

Her: "Monday next week sounds good! :)"

Me: "deal! :)"

Her: "deal. I am stalking your profile [MY NICKNAME]...! ;)"

Me: "That's okay, you aren't the only one who has a crush one me! :)"

Her: "Oh..[NICKNAME] how could you know? ;)"

Me: "Know what?"

Her: "My giant crush... oh no i said it gulp.. what do i do?.. help oh no"

Me: "Haha :)"

Her: "I wouldn't mind doing you! ;)[OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BASICALLY IN MY LANGUAGE]"

Me: ":)"

Now she suddenly changes subject out of nowhere, and starts speaking about snow outside her window.

What could I have done better? What shall I do now if I get with her? How do I avoid getting friend-zoned again?

Keep in mind that she has a boyfriend, also skip any morale speculations, and just give me advice. Thank you for your time!
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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NorwegianDJ

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Hit it while it's hot dude. Monday's your day.

As for the convo, you should've increased the tension, you seem like you're uncomfortable with being sexual.

Watch the whole video, there's an example of what I mean somewhere in it towards the middle-end, how Julien talks about a 'ball of emotions inbetween you': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU
 
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NorwegianDJ said:
Hit it while it's hot dude. Monday's your day.

As for the convo, you should've increased the tension, you seem like you're uncomfortable with being sexual.

Watch the whole video, there's an example of what I mean somewhere in it towards the middle-end, how Julien talks about a 'ball of emotions inbetween you': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlWrFgIR6CU
Hmm, I think I am hesitating with the sexuality because I am afraid of a rejection with this girl. The reason that I got even more scared was because I could not tell if she was joking or not, another thing is that the boyfriend and her is in the same class as me, and a rejection would make it so ****ing awkward. Thank you for that link though!!!!
 
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He isn't gonna fight me, he's just gonna get angry/sad.
Thank you for the link Norwegian.

I am considering keeping contact with her to a minimum the rest of the week to increase tension. Should I do that?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I am really relieved to hear all of this, the thing that I am most unsure about is whether she was joking or serious when writing that. But I'm gonna throw the dice and say ****-all at Monday.
 

BPH

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The reason she sounded like she was joking was because women don't like to be rejected, so she wanted to see your reaction. You weren't as sexual as you should have been but that's fine.

Hang out with her on Monday. She suggested your place so she knows what she's getting in to. Just have a condom on hand.
 
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A small update, keep in mind that we're from the same school and class when I tell you this.

Today was a success, heavy kino, I was constantly flirting with others in-front of her and when she wanted my attention I was flirty and ****y/funny towards her. Right before I left, we we're alone for like 5 seconds and I could feel the tension between us moving through my body, 30 seconds more and I would have made out with her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Last update, it ****ed up.

I where at her place, we we're watching funny video-clips and stuff, and actually had heavy kino once in a while, but every time the chance for a kiss almost was there, it didn't work out. I think that both me and her had a bad conscience about her boyfriend who is in the same class as me and her.

Or I just didn't know what to do at the 'almost kissing' moment. Anyway, this didn't work out. Gonna move on to another girl unless she takes an initiative.

The lesson I learned from this was that bad conscience is a huge handicap and that I need to study more on the heavy kino/almost kissing moment. Can any of you guys point me at anything or write me some tips about making the jump between heavy kino and kissing?
 

NorwegianDJ

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Just do it.
Use your hand to position her and lean in.
Say something along the lines of, "I wanna kiss you so bad right now" if you dont have the balls to go straight in.
 
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Thanks for the tip, I often over-analyses **** and makes it less banal and simple than it really is.
However, this girl is not worth the time that I could spend with others girls who genuinely wants me. Gonna have a small party at my place Friday, the girls there are at least as hot as this other girl is so I'm gonna have a fvcking blast!
 

Nino-Tk

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You were at her place!? Man you should've taken the opportunity and capitalized, the Gods had granted you that girl man...well there really is no other way to give to you, have some balls and go through with it, fu*k the guy man, this is manna from heave, take advantage unless that guy is your mate.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Nino-Tk said:
You were at her place!? Man you should've taken the opportunity and capitalized, the Gods had granted you that girl man...well there really is no other way to give to you, have some balls and go through with it, fu*k the guy man, this is manna from heave, take advantage unless that guy is your mate.
That's the problem, I don't know if he's my mate. He's pretty cool to hang around with, but he is also a dead-end, he's that guy who spends the parties drinking energy drinks and playing foosball/table foot ball, with his best friend who is a very unattractive girl. The most sexual he and the girl have done is kissing goodbye.

I like him, but he's not the kinda person that I am going to stick around with, he is as temporary comrade.
 
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Gonna go for her, she's accustomed to my touch, and was really flirty today because I practically ignored her yesterday. Next time I am alone with her, I can escalate even further physically.
 
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