"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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A Friend Or More.

KillaCam

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Hey guys, just a bit of a situation that has crept up over the past few months, and my failure to address it has caused an issue or two. Am seeking second opinions :)

(Name's changed for privacy reasons)

Me and Anna met through a friend. She has quite a reputation, same age as me (I'm 17 in just under a month), and in all honesty that reputation isn't good. Her group of female friends are 18, 19 and they hang out with guys that are 17-22 (Yes, 22..). I've had a physical kinda thing with her before, one night which we both enjoyed, and since then our bond/friendship has grown quite a lot. We txt etc. everyday, although the going to lunch stage etc took a while to come about, it's here. I do feel a mutual attraction with her, she even admitted a strong connection was building, but now a new guy has come onto the scene.

He's 22, I believe part of the outer-group friend of a friend kinda circle. She's very naive when it comes to guys, and I feel he is trouble. He tries to limit/extinguish all other male contact with her, if a guy text's her he gets frustrated and jealous, and seems to have a particular and specific problem with me talking to her. I've never met the guy personally, nor do I really want to at this stage, but as a friend, and someone to possibly likes her more, i'm incredibly worried. Heck, if I was a 22 year old, no way would I think about going near a 16 year old girl. It's physically and morally wrong!

She is a great person, don't get me wrong. If you scratch under the surface, she is a fantastic, sweet, sensitive and geuine human being..and maybe the development of my feelings (although largely insignificant at this stage) are clouding my thought, but i'm geuinely worried. Do I open up to her and let it all out? Express concern and risk losing her friendship?

Any views would be great, thank you.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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OfficeSpace

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Sounds like you kinda like her... And from what you say, it seems that she kinda likes you... But if I were you I'd show it and not say your feelings for her! Make her unscramble the signals! Ask her out man! What are you waiting for... It's not that hard!
 

Taker

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As Pook says: "Grab your balls, be A MAN!!!"

From what I hear he seems like one of those clingy people, which turns girls off. Just show her your guts and be a man and you should be fine. If he starts whining to her after your first date or something most likely she'll tell him to fvck off.
 

wavejams007

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dude man, if you make yourself more appealing than him, she will stay with you, but you need to be a man and show him you aren't intimidated. Don't forget, everything is fair in love and war.
 

Docs

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Well, we have a jealous 22 year old after a 16 year old that tries to limit contact.

Asking her out is a good counter-example. However, this guy will still be around. You have to play his game for a bit, limit his contact to her! So if you always have her (AND I MEAN ALWAYS), and she starts giving him the 'busy' signal, he should piss off. :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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KillaCam

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Some very sound advice guys, thanks. Even since I posted this I feel things are progressing, which is good. i would dearly love to be able to ask her out, but being a taken woman, I do agree that i've just gotta be a better man. Which shouldn't be difficult, if this guy is nedding to get with 16 year olds, he can't be much of a catch ;)

Thanks again fellas.
 

OfficeSpace

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Hehe yeah bro... Best of luck with her man! But like I said... 'Show' her how you feel and don't cling to her and you'll be fine. Flirting doesn't hurt man... If she's hanging out with you that much and staying in contact, then you should push it to the next level... Best wishes.. let us know how it turns out ;)
 
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