"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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A Friend Or More.

KillaCam

Master Don Juan
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Hey guys, just a bit of a situation that has crept up over the past few months, and my failure to address it has caused an issue or two. Am seeking second opinions :)

(Name's changed for privacy reasons)

Me and Anna met through a friend. She has quite a reputation, same age as me (I'm 17 in just under a month), and in all honesty that reputation isn't good. Her group of female friends are 18, 19 and they hang out with guys that are 17-22 (Yes, 22..). I've had a physical kinda thing with her before, one night which we both enjoyed, and since then our bond/friendship has grown quite a lot. We txt etc. everyday, although the going to lunch stage etc took a while to come about, it's here. I do feel a mutual attraction with her, she even admitted a strong connection was building, but now a new guy has come onto the scene.

He's 22, I believe part of the outer-group friend of a friend kinda circle. She's very naive when it comes to guys, and I feel he is trouble. He tries to limit/extinguish all other male contact with her, if a guy text's her he gets frustrated and jealous, and seems to have a particular and specific problem with me talking to her. I've never met the guy personally, nor do I really want to at this stage, but as a friend, and someone to possibly likes her more, i'm incredibly worried. Heck, if I was a 22 year old, no way would I think about going near a 16 year old girl. It's physically and morally wrong!

She is a great person, don't get me wrong. If you scratch under the surface, she is a fantastic, sweet, sensitive and geuine human being..and maybe the development of my feelings (although largely insignificant at this stage) are clouding my thought, but i'm geuinely worried. Do I open up to her and let it all out? Express concern and risk losing her friendship?

Any views would be great, thank you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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OfficeSpace

Master Don Juan
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Sounds like you kinda like her... And from what you say, it seems that she kinda likes you... But if I were you I'd show it and not say your feelings for her! Make her unscramble the signals! Ask her out man! What are you waiting for... It's not that hard!
 

Taker

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As Pook says: "Grab your balls, be A MAN!!!"

From what I hear he seems like one of those clingy people, which turns girls off. Just show her your guts and be a man and you should be fine. If he starts whining to her after your first date or something most likely she'll tell him to fvck off.
 

wavejams007

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dude man, if you make yourself more appealing than him, she will stay with you, but you need to be a man and show him you aren't intimidated. Don't forget, everything is fair in love and war.
 

Docs

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Well, we have a jealous 22 year old after a 16 year old that tries to limit contact.

Asking her out is a good counter-example. However, this guy will still be around. You have to play his game for a bit, limit his contact to her! So if you always have her (AND I MEAN ALWAYS), and she starts giving him the 'busy' signal, he should piss off. :)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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KillaCam

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Some very sound advice guys, thanks. Even since I posted this I feel things are progressing, which is good. i would dearly love to be able to ask her out, but being a taken woman, I do agree that i've just gotta be a better man. Which shouldn't be difficult, if this guy is nedding to get with 16 year olds, he can't be much of a catch ;)

Thanks again fellas.
 

OfficeSpace

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Hehe yeah bro... Best of luck with her man! But like I said... 'Show' her how you feel and don't cling to her and you'll be fine. Flirting doesn't hurt man... If she's hanging out with you that much and staying in contact, then you should push it to the next level... Best wishes.. let us know how it turns out ;)
 
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