"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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A fine example of what you SHOULD NOT do when talking to people.

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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FairShake

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He seems alright to me. Pretty much what most teenagers seem like when they are talking.

People don't care as much about you being "nervous" as you might think. In fact, nervous people make more out of their nervousness than other people. Being an awkward ****y ******* is far worse.
 

Konada

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FairShake said:
He seems alright to me. Pretty much what most teenagers seem like when they are talking.

People don't care as much about you being "nervous" as you might think. In fact, nervous people make more out of their nervousness than other people. Being an awkward ****y ******* is far worse.
Good point. He seems abit too fidgetey (sp) with all the straying eyes and multiple hand movements at first however manages to find composure later on.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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FairShake

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Konada said:
Good point. He seems abit too fidgetey (sp) with all the straying eyes and multiple hand movements at first however manages to find composure later on.
Which makes him like every other person on earth! I've been interviewed at local fires on the news before and my first (several) interviews I was a wreck. And I was chosen because apparently I'm the best at interviews in the department. Which isn't saying much!

A little bit of nervousness is normal. Just about every person in a new situation will show some. I don't trust people who are immediately comfortable around people they don't know. Means they don't really care about those people. Not somebody I'm interested in getting to know.
 

Jariel

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This is something I have to chime in on. I've suffered attention deficit disorder all my life and have always had a tendancy to fidget and get distracted easily. Rather than hold eye contact and move with purpose, I'd look around the room at everything that moved or made a sound, play with my shirt cuffs, tap on the table and things like that.

I wasn't really aware of it until recently. Like most women I date, there was one who started off with major interest, then rejected me out of nowhere. She explained that I appear nervous and on edge and she felt I was not the guy for her. I was actually very calm the whole time so was really confused why she got this impression, so I asked her. It turned out it was my bodylanguage and fidgetting. Despite my calm mindset, I was giving the impression of nervousness and low confidence, which of course is very offputting for a woman. I'd heard this before and I believe many of my rejections have been down to this and when asking family and friends, they all agreed that it's a habit they've known me do for many years and they too can see how it may be offputting.

It was quite a revelation for me. I looked back at videos of myself and for the first time, I saw exactly what they were talking about. And I have to say, my bodylanguage was very similar to the guy in this video.

I've been making some big changes since and people have been giving me positive feedback. Meanwhile, my dates have been going exceptionally well and I'm actually managing to retain high interest for a change.

It's all well and good saying we should relax and just be ourselves, but sometimes you really do need to pay attention to your actions and behaviour and make a conscious effort to change.
 

mark123

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Thanks for sharing, Konada.

Jariel said:
I've been making some big changes since and people have been giving me positive feedback. Meanwhile, my dates have been going exceptionally well and I'm actually managing to retain high interest for a change.
Jariel - do you mind sharing what some of these changes you are making are? I have similar fidgeting/wandering eyes issues (although not as extreme as the guy in the video) and tend to start talking really fast, esp with people i don't know. Do you recommend any exercises, resources etc to appear more calm, smooth?
 
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