A Dilemma

[Limits123]

Hi guys, first post and i have a question for you:

I know a girl who I like intelectually, I admire her way of thinking... but I can't bring myself to wanting to have her as my girlfriend.

So, are looks the only thing that matters, or should you be able to date someone based on her incredible personality?

 

[Amo]

Maybe I'm missing something, but you're asking us to choose whether you want to date that chick. No one can answer that for you except you. If you think she's great not as a friend, but as a potential relationship, then go for it. But if you don't, ask yourself what you want. No one else can tell you.

 

[Limits123]

Yeah you're right, I didn't explain myself very well.

I know for a fact that I do not want to date her, because I do not find her pretty enough . While my head says "She's a good match", my gut says "You wouldn't like her enough".
What I'm trying to figure out is if that makes me a shallow, vain person... or if it's ok.

 

[MusicMan450]

It's perfectly okay. Men are designed to take looks into account. When a man talks to his friends about a girl, he doesn't say "Dude, she's so into everything I'm into and she has such a GREAT personality!"... He'd sound homo.

No, when you look and think of a girl, what do you think of? Exactly, her body, how she looks, her hair, and maybe a little bit of her personality.

I dated a fatty for a year and a half, she had one of the best personalities, and sure, that made me like her, but finally I was like "screw this, I could do better. I can't see myself being sexually attracted to this girl for very much longer, especially as her weight becomes more and more of a problem". So yeah, I broke up with her for her looks, but it doesn't make me an awful person.

 

[Amo]

Follow your gut, bro.