Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I will, I think it's a good idea to focus on my life. Thank you for your input!Warrior74 said:Firstly. Cut all contact. Don't meet her, don't call her, don't answer her calls/text. If you have to respond, respond with only this. "Look, we both know it's over and I think it's time to move on, there is nothing else left to say. I wish you all the best and good luck" and hang up the phone. But honestly I don't suggest even doing that...she will try to suck you back in with conversation. Her goal is not to get you back, but to come out on top mentally. To feel she is better than you and to belittle you. Trust me on this.
The hardest thing to do as a man is to just accept the situation. It's passive and we are men who tend to want to fix things and want a clean resolution. That anger you feel is really at yourself. If you look deeply enough you will see it's anger at your own weakness, not at her, not at women in general. Your projecting.
Go out with your friends this weekend, focus on having fun and wanting nothing from females. I know that is probably contrary to most advice you would get here (go **** 10 other girls, find some new poon). But you need some time to get back to yourself. If you meet someone, cool. If you see someone checking you out, go for it. But don't worry about it.
If your feeling down, make a list of all the things that are good in your life and take a moment to feel honest appreciation for them. You have your health, your family, your friends, your job, your life! So much to appreciate. Enjoy the things that make you you and have some fun this weekend! Good luck!
It has to do with the anger that was generated being with her. Going no contact, to me, seems like cutting off an infected limb that could be treated with antibiotics. It's lame that for this to happen I have to play on her terms. But I would rather defuse this anger then let it get buried.piranha45 said:You broke up with her, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HER???? You've been here since 2002 and have 1300 posts, you know damn well to go 100% No Contact.
There's no reason for you to be talking to her on the phone, in person, via email, via websites, or in any other way/shape/form.
NO, it is like cutting out a tumor that is slowly killing you.Create Reality said:It has to do with the anger that was generated being with her. Going no contact, to me, seems like cutting off an infected limb that could be treated with antibiotics.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well, at least you KNOW you're going the AFC route. I wonder how many people you've advised against going the AFC route in your 7 years, here. Ironic, isn't it?Create Reality said:It has to do with the anger that was generated being with her. Going no contact, to me, seems like cutting off an infected limb that could be treated with antibiotics. It's lame that for this to happen I have to play on her terms. But I would rather defuse this anger then let it get buried.
Warrior74 said:Firstly. Cut all contact. Don't meet her, don't call her, don't answer her calls/text. If you have to respond, respond with only this. "Look, we both know it's over and I think it's time to move on, there is nothing else left to say. I wish you all the best and good luck" and hang up the phone. But honestly I don't suggest even doing that...she will try to suck you back in with conversation. Her goal is not to get you back, but to come out on top mentally. To feel she is better than you and to belittle you. Trust me on this.
The hardest thing to do as a man is to just accept the situation. It's passive and we are men who tend to want to fix things and want a clean resolution. That anger you feel is really at yourself. If you look deeply enough you will see it's anger at your own weakness, not at her, not at women in general. Your projecting.
Go out with your friends this weekend, focus on having fun and wanting nothing from females. I know that is probably contrary to most advice you would get here (go **** 10 other girls, find some new poon). But you need some time to get back to yourself. If you meet someone, cool. If you see someone checking you out, go for it. But don't worry about it.
If your feeling down, make a list of all the things that are good in your life and take a moment to feel honest appreciation for them. You have your health, your family, your friends, your job, your life! So much to appreciate. Enjoy the things that make you you and have some fun this weekend! Good luck!