"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A bit of a quandry.

Altruist

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1. I read the DJ bible. Learned alot. Applied alot.
2. I am feeling pretty good about myself.
3. I have this girl pretty interested in me.

I hate writing long monologues and tales of prose, love, lies and deceit, so I am going to keep it to the cliff notes.

1. Met a girl on April. First time I met her I was highly interested. Put her on the back burner because I found out she had a boy friend.
2. Started hanging out with a group of friends in July. FInd out she hangs out with this new group of friends. Ignored the girl. Had a good time. She finally approached me.
3. Decided to say "wtf, i've been kinda killing myself, I really oughta indulge and talk to her a bit. see what shes about." Never really have the oneitis thing. I still keep my options open and talk to other chicks.
4. We are suppose to have lunch. She flakes. I get pissed and don't talk to her for a couple of days. She comes crawling back. Now she is on her best behavior and is working overtime to fix the problem she has made.
5. Now it is getting hot and heavy...and I don't know if I want to seal the deal.

WHY? Because she has a boyfriend..and he hangs out with this new group of friends I am in.

Hum. What to do?

1. Get with her and I take a chance and become a homewrecker. It might be the best thing I have done, or the worst.
2. Don't do a damn thing and just let it die.

Advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Bible_Belt

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Do her and the bf live together? Are they just dating, or is it like they are married without papers?

And is the bf your friend? That is really all that matters. If he is, then you have to stay away from his gf if you want to keep him as af, but if not, then it is his own fault for not keeping his gf interested. A gf who is about to leave will do so for whatever guy comes along; even if you ignore her, another guy won't.
 

Altruist

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Bible_Belt said:
Do her and the bf live together? Are they just dating, or is it like they are married without papers?

And is the bf your friend? That is really all that matters. If he is, then you have to stay away from his gf if you want to keep him as af, but if not, then it is his own fault for not keeping his gf interested. A gf who is about to leave will do so for whatever guy comes along; even if you ignore her, another guy won't.
1. Do they live together? Yes they live together.
2. is the BF my friend? He is an acquaintance. He isn't specifically IN the group of friends i am in. Rather he is a familiar face.

Edit: rather it is HER group of friends, she just kinda just brought him in.
 

Altruist

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I guess I am second guessing myself. If she is the right fit for me then I should do it. And if someone says something I'll just have enough nuts to say "i'm being selfish for my life. so what?" I guess thats that then. :cheer:
 

tsmith2334

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Tough call. I wouldn't pursue it. Because karma sucks and you wouldn't want that happening in your shoes.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Altruist

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tsmith2334 said:
Tough call. I wouldn't pursue it. Because karma sucks and you wouldn't want that happening in your shoes.

I know chief.. I know. But if I were to pursue this I am going to make god damn sure she knows I can leave at any notice. And tough luck, if you can't handle your woman then whose problem is that? Granted it is going to be a mutual thing...but I am sure she is going to frame it as "HE did it to me." Well..who was kissing back? lol..

Anyone else have any more thoughts?
 

Bvbidd

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All girls cheat, never met one that didn't.
 

Altruist

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Bvbidd said:
All girls cheat, never met one that didn't.

I guess what to take from this is to not take this (if a relationship happens) too seriously. It may very well happen to me. ruh roh.
 

Dilberto

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Get rid of her- you never play SECOND FIDDLE to anybody. Back to the drawing board.....if you learned your DJ principles right- the next one should be no problem, at all. There is way too many fish in the sea to sulk over this one......bro-ham!
 

Altruist

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Dilberto said:
Get rid of her- you never play SECOND FIDDLE to anybody. Back to the drawing board.....if you learned your DJ principles right- the next one should be no problem, at all. There is way too many fish in the sea to sulk over this one......bro-ham!
not really sulking chief. i feel pretty freaking good about my life. the question is if I let her into it.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Dilberto

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Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
 

Altruist

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Dilberto said:
Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
I don't know how i feel about your thinking. If shes messing with me then I'll mess with her back. Law of reciprocity?
 

yama600rr

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why would you want to persue someone with a bf? if she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you! why dont you lay low for a while with her, but in the mean time, date around, and when she breaks up with her bf, then you can move in for the kill. you know its only a matter of time til they break up, 99.99999% of couples break up sooner rather then later.
 

Mental

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Altruist said:
1. Do they live together? Yes they live together.
2. is the BF my friend? He is an acquaintance. He isn't specifically IN the group of friends i am in. Rather he is a familiar face.

Edit: rather it is HER group of friends, she just kinda just brought him in.
Either way, my advice is that before you get serious with this chick, have her dump the guy. If she's interested, then it shouldn't be a huge issue. If she won't dump him, you have an answer about whether you should drop her.

If you become the other man... guess what, you may have it come back to you. It's about integrity more than "banging hot chicks." If she cheats on him, she'll probably cheat on you.

B_B likes to claim that if the chick doesn't stick around, it's automatically the guys fault. Not always. Sometimes, the chick who cheats is just is just a *****. And usually, it's the person who cheats who has mental issues.

It's the same logic that says it's the woman's fault and she deserves the physical abuse she gets from her boyfriend or husband, instead of looking at the fact that they both have huge issues, and something needs to be done to stop that situation from happening again.
 

Bunk 040

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Dilberto said:
Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
With thinking like this you'll never get anywhere.

Do it. I mean you would know not to trust her like that if you got into a relationship with her. Who cares about a boyfriend, that's her problem. Would a lion stop eating a buffalo because it has kids? lol. Go after what you want brah.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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sav

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Mental said:
Either way, my advice is that before you get serious with this chick, have her dump the guy. If she's interested, then it shouldn't be a huge issue. If she won't dump him, you have an answer about whether you should drop her.

If you become the other man... guess what, you may have it come back to you. It's about integrity more than "banging hot chicks." If she cheats on him, she'll probably cheat on you.

B_B likes to claim that if the chick doesn't stick around, it's automatically the guys fault. Not always. Sometimes, the chick who cheats is just is just a *****. And usually, it's the person who cheats who has mental issues.

It's the same logic that says it's the woman's fault and she deserves the physical abuse she gets from her boyfriend or husband, instead of looking at the fact that they both have huge issues, and something needs to be done to stop that situation from happening again.
good advice right here if you are looking for something more serious then a FB situation..
 

sav

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Bunk 040 said:
With thinking like this you'll never get anywhere.

Do it. I mean you would know not to trust her like that if you got into a relationship with her. Who cares about a boyfriend, that's her problem. Would a lion stop eating a buffalo because it has kids? lol. Go after what you want brah.
a lion wont care cuz he needs food...

this guy might care if he wants something more then sex out of a relationship...
 

Bunk 040

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I feel you, but hey if you like her then pursue her. Period.
 
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