"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

A bit of a quandry.

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
1. I read the DJ bible. Learned alot. Applied alot.
2. I am feeling pretty good about myself.
3. I have this girl pretty interested in me.

I hate writing long monologues and tales of prose, love, lies and deceit, so I am going to keep it to the cliff notes.

1. Met a girl on April. First time I met her I was highly interested. Put her on the back burner because I found out she had a boy friend.
2. Started hanging out with a group of friends in July. FInd out she hangs out with this new group of friends. Ignored the girl. Had a good time. She finally approached me.
3. Decided to say "wtf, i've been kinda killing myself, I really oughta indulge and talk to her a bit. see what shes about." Never really have the oneitis thing. I still keep my options open and talk to other chicks.
4. We are suppose to have lunch. She flakes. I get pissed and don't talk to her for a couple of days. She comes crawling back. Now she is on her best behavior and is working overtime to fix the problem she has made.
5. Now it is getting hot and heavy...and I don't know if I want to seal the deal.

WHY? Because she has a boyfriend..and he hangs out with this new group of friends I am in.

Hum. What to do?

1. Get with her and I take a chance and become a homewrecker. It might be the best thing I have done, or the worst.
2. Don't do a damn thing and just let it die.

Advice?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
6,368
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Do her and the bf live together? Are they just dating, or is it like they are married without papers?

And is the bf your friend? That is really all that matters. If he is, then you have to stay away from his gf if you want to keep him as af, but if not, then it is his own fault for not keeping his gf interested. A gf who is about to leave will do so for whatever guy comes along; even if you ignore her, another guy won't.
 

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Bible_Belt said:
Do her and the bf live together? Are they just dating, or is it like they are married without papers?

And is the bf your friend? That is really all that matters. If he is, then you have to stay away from his gf if you want to keep him as af, but if not, then it is his own fault for not keeping his gf interested. A gf who is about to leave will do so for whatever guy comes along; even if you ignore her, another guy won't.
1. Do they live together? Yes they live together.
2. is the BF my friend? He is an acquaintance. He isn't specifically IN the group of friends i am in. Rather he is a familiar face.

Edit: rather it is HER group of friends, she just kinda just brought him in.
 

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
I guess I am second guessing myself. If she is the right fit for me then I should do it. And if someone says something I'll just have enough nuts to say "i'm being selfish for my life. so what?" I guess thats that then. :cheer:
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
761
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
Tough call. I wouldn't pursue it. Because karma sucks and you wouldn't want that happening in your shoes.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
tsmith2334 said:
Tough call. I wouldn't pursue it. Because karma sucks and you wouldn't want that happening in your shoes.

I know chief.. I know. But if I were to pursue this I am going to make god damn sure she knows I can leave at any notice. And tough luck, if you can't handle your woman then whose problem is that? Granted it is going to be a mutual thing...but I am sure she is going to frame it as "HE did it to me." Well..who was kissing back? lol..

Anyone else have any more thoughts?
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,482
Reaction score
8
All girls cheat, never met one that didn't.
 

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Bvbidd said:
All girls cheat, never met one that didn't.

I guess what to take from this is to not take this (if a relationship happens) too seriously. It may very well happen to me. ruh roh.
 

Dilberto

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
221
Reaction score
2
Get rid of her- you never play SECOND FIDDLE to anybody. Back to the drawing board.....if you learned your DJ principles right- the next one should be no problem, at all. There is way too many fish in the sea to sulk over this one......bro-ham!
 

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Dilberto said:
Get rid of her- you never play SECOND FIDDLE to anybody. Back to the drawing board.....if you learned your DJ principles right- the next one should be no problem, at all. There is way too many fish in the sea to sulk over this one......bro-ham!
not really sulking chief. i feel pretty freaking good about my life. the question is if I let her into it.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Dilberto

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
221
Reaction score
2
Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
 

Altruist

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Dilberto said:
Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
I don't know how i feel about your thinking. If shes messing with me then I'll mess with her back. Law of reciprocity?
 

yama600rr

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
118
Reaction score
2
why would you want to persue someone with a bf? if she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you! why dont you lay low for a while with her, but in the mean time, date around, and when she breaks up with her bf, then you can move in for the kill. you know its only a matter of time til they break up, 99.99999% of couples break up sooner rather then later.
 

Mental

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2006
Messages
232
Reaction score
2
Location
Michigan
Altruist said:
1. Do they live together? Yes they live together.
2. is the BF my friend? He is an acquaintance. He isn't specifically IN the group of friends i am in. Rather he is a familiar face.

Edit: rather it is HER group of friends, she just kinda just brought him in.
Either way, my advice is that before you get serious with this chick, have her dump the guy. If she's interested, then it shouldn't be a huge issue. If she won't dump him, you have an answer about whether you should drop her.

If you become the other man... guess what, you may have it come back to you. It's about integrity more than "banging hot chicks." If she cheats on him, she'll probably cheat on you.

B_B likes to claim that if the chick doesn't stick around, it's automatically the guys fault. Not always. Sometimes, the chick who cheats is just is just a *****. And usually, it's the person who cheats who has mental issues.

It's the same logic that says it's the woman's fault and she deserves the physical abuse she gets from her boyfriend or husband, instead of looking at the fact that they both have huge issues, and something needs to be done to stop that situation from happening again.
 

Bunk 040

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2004
Messages
191
Reaction score
1
Age
38
Dilberto said:
Just stamp, "NEXT" on her forehead.....and it's a done deal. Stop your losses with this one, and let her be with the bf......you simply were just her insurance policy...well cancel it- NOW.....
With thinking like this you'll never get anywhere.

Do it. I mean you would know not to trust her like that if you got into a relationship with her. Who cares about a boyfriend, that's her problem. Would a lion stop eating a buffalo because it has kids? lol. Go after what you want brah.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

sav

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
399
Reaction score
3
Mental said:
Either way, my advice is that before you get serious with this chick, have her dump the guy. If she's interested, then it shouldn't be a huge issue. If she won't dump him, you have an answer about whether you should drop her.

If you become the other man... guess what, you may have it come back to you. It's about integrity more than "banging hot chicks." If she cheats on him, she'll probably cheat on you.

B_B likes to claim that if the chick doesn't stick around, it's automatically the guys fault. Not always. Sometimes, the chick who cheats is just is just a *****. And usually, it's the person who cheats who has mental issues.

It's the same logic that says it's the woman's fault and she deserves the physical abuse she gets from her boyfriend or husband, instead of looking at the fact that they both have huge issues, and something needs to be done to stop that situation from happening again.
good advice right here if you are looking for something more serious then a FB situation..
 

sav

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
399
Reaction score
3
Bunk 040 said:
With thinking like this you'll never get anywhere.

Do it. I mean you would know not to trust her like that if you got into a relationship with her. Who cares about a boyfriend, that's her problem. Would a lion stop eating a buffalo because it has kids? lol. Go after what you want brah.
a lion wont care cuz he needs food...

this guy might care if he wants something more then sex out of a relationship...
 

Bunk 040

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2004
Messages
191
Reaction score
1
Age
38
I feel you, but hey if you like her then pursue her. Period.
 
Top