I have found that whenever I feel like I have succeeded with a girl, whether it be dating her or just seeing signs of interest from her, I immediately start to see everything negative about her appearance. I think part of it is fear of what others will think of who I'm with, which I know is stupid but I'm not really sure how to get over it. The girl I'm with now I used to think was absolutely gorgeous and now that I am with her, well sometimes I think she looks very good and sometimes all I see is flaws, and this could be looking at the same picture on different days. Any advice?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
A 10 would become a 5 if I started dating them
- Thread starter kabatura
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Damian
Senior Don Juan
Well, kabatura, if you are in this for a strong long-term relationship (which is PERFECTLY OKAY. In fact, I encourage you to do so.) you have to keep an open communication.
If some things piss you off, then ask her not to do those things. You probably won't ever find a girl that fits PERFECTLY with your personality, likes, dislikes, and pet peeves. However, if you are committed to making it work, it takes lots of communication. You have to teach each other and learn diligently about each others' needs.
If you want to stay with her, tell her if something is bothering you. She can't know unless you say it straight out. It's also a test of how seriously SHE takes the relationship. If she is committed to you, she will work with you to make things better. On the other hand, if she thinks you're full of crap, you're better off with another girl who actually thinks you're important.
If some things piss you off, then ask her not to do those things. You probably won't ever find a girl that fits PERFECTLY with your personality, likes, dislikes, and pet peeves. However, if you are committed to making it work, it takes lots of communication. You have to teach each other and learn diligently about each others' needs.
If you want to stay with her, tell her if something is bothering you. She can't know unless you say it straight out. It's also a test of how seriously SHE takes the relationship. If she is committed to you, she will work with you to make things better. On the other hand, if she thinks you're full of crap, you're better off with another girl who actually thinks you're important.
BuckwildNYC
Senior Don Juan
Girls can't always be at their best......get over it
http://www.methodshop.com/games/play/powerofmakeup/pam-anderson.jpg
http://www.methodshop.com/games/play/powerofmakeup/pam-anderson.jpg
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You know that does make some sense. The idea that noone beautiful or good would want to be with me so if someone is with me they must not be good. I don't really feel unworthy but there might be some junk in me I need to look for. Thanks.
I've had the same thing, fortunately I figured out what it was. (For me anyway).
If I am after a really gorgeous girl (8.5+) and if it gets to a point where we start dating, or even sometimes even if I **** her.... my mind says 'This girl isn't nearly as hot as I thought she was'.
Two reasons that come up for me.
1. I enjoyed the chase.
2. I have an internal mindset that I want what I can't have... once I land what I thought I couldn't.. mindset resets and I pursue a bigger prize.
They are similar, but both are different reasons.
Now this isn't all the time, but some situations this comes up for me. It could be your issue, it might not.
Look at your past, if its happened before, why and what did you do afterwards?
If I am after a really gorgeous girl (8.5+) and if it gets to a point where we start dating, or even sometimes even if I **** her.... my mind says 'This girl isn't nearly as hot as I thought she was'.
Two reasons that come up for me.
1. I enjoyed the chase.
2. I have an internal mindset that I want what I can't have... once I land what I thought I couldn't.. mindset resets and I pursue a bigger prize.
They are similar, but both are different reasons.
Now this isn't all the time, but some situations this comes up for me. It could be your issue, it might not.
Look at your past, if its happened before, why and what did you do afterwards?