I have found that whenever I feel like I have succeeded with a girl, whether it be dating her or just seeing signs of interest from her, I immediately start to see everything negative about her appearance. I think part of it is fear of what others will think of who I'm with, which I know is stupid but I'm not really sure how to get over it. The girl I'm with now I used to think was absolutely gorgeous and now that I am with her, well sometimes I think she looks very good and sometimes all I see is flaws, and this could be looking at the same picture on different days. Any advice?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
A 10 would become a 5 if I started dating them
- Thread starter kabatura
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Damian
Senior Don Juan
Well, kabatura, if you are in this for a strong long-term relationship (which is PERFECTLY OKAY. In fact, I encourage you to do so.) you have to keep an open communication.
If some things piss you off, then ask her not to do those things. You probably won't ever find a girl that fits PERFECTLY with your personality, likes, dislikes, and pet peeves. However, if you are committed to making it work, it takes lots of communication. You have to teach each other and learn diligently about each others' needs.
If you want to stay with her, tell her if something is bothering you. She can't know unless you say it straight out. It's also a test of how seriously SHE takes the relationship. If she is committed to you, she will work with you to make things better. On the other hand, if she thinks you're full of crap, you're better off with another girl who actually thinks you're important.
If some things piss you off, then ask her not to do those things. You probably won't ever find a girl that fits PERFECTLY with your personality, likes, dislikes, and pet peeves. However, if you are committed to making it work, it takes lots of communication. You have to teach each other and learn diligently about each others' needs.
If you want to stay with her, tell her if something is bothering you. She can't know unless you say it straight out. It's also a test of how seriously SHE takes the relationship. If she is committed to you, she will work with you to make things better. On the other hand, if she thinks you're full of crap, you're better off with another girl who actually thinks you're important.
BuckwildNYC
Senior Don Juan
Girls can't always be at their best......get over it
http://www.methodshop.com/games/play/powerofmakeup/pam-anderson.jpg
http://www.methodshop.com/games/play/powerofmakeup/pam-anderson.jpg
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You know that does make some sense. The idea that noone beautiful or good would want to be with me so if someone is with me they must not be good. I don't really feel unworthy but there might be some junk in me I need to look for. Thanks.
I've had the same thing, fortunately I figured out what it was. (For me anyway).
If I am after a really gorgeous girl (8.5+) and if it gets to a point where we start dating, or even sometimes even if I **** her.... my mind says 'This girl isn't nearly as hot as I thought she was'.
Two reasons that come up for me.
1. I enjoyed the chase.
2. I have an internal mindset that I want what I can't have... once I land what I thought I couldn't.. mindset resets and I pursue a bigger prize.
They are similar, but both are different reasons.
Now this isn't all the time, but some situations this comes up for me. It could be your issue, it might not.
Look at your past, if its happened before, why and what did you do afterwards?
If I am after a really gorgeous girl (8.5+) and if it gets to a point where we start dating, or even sometimes even if I **** her.... my mind says 'This girl isn't nearly as hot as I thought she was'.
Two reasons that come up for me.
1. I enjoyed the chase.
2. I have an internal mindset that I want what I can't have... once I land what I thought I couldn't.. mindset resets and I pursue a bigger prize.
They are similar, but both are different reasons.
Now this isn't all the time, but some situations this comes up for me. It could be your issue, it might not.
Look at your past, if its happened before, why and what did you do afterwards?