90% Men are Invisible

[Rainman4707]

Saw this video, nothing new, but I thought it was interesting. It's by notorious black piller Wheat Waffles, but I thought it was better than most of his stuff, thought it made a lot of sense.

I have never really bought into the idea that women only wanted bad boys, and this helps explain it better IMO. According to this, women are really just attracted to the good looking men. But the good looking men with good personalities have girlfriends or wives - or are quickly snapped up - so they're not really on OLD, or on the market. The good looking men who are left are the bad boys. So girls go for the good looking guy, but they turn out to be bad boys. And of course the average looking guys are basically ignored.

I have the same mentality, seems clear as day to me. Yet i am told not to assume that a quieter, decent man is automatically disadvantaged in every social setting. Physical attraction matters, but familiarity, personality, shared interests and emotional connection can all influence attraction over time.

 

[Solomon]

you realize probably every woman is on a dating app? just because you meet her offline somewhere doesn't mean she isn't on them

This is a sosuave myth. I know girls personally who don't use dating apps; have they tried? Sure, but they get off right away because they can't handle the onslaught of likes and matches etc.

I know that's anecdotal, but highly sought-after women who have active social lives have no issues meeting men in the wild

 

[Serenity]

Saw this video, nothing new, but I thought it was interesting. It's by notorious black piller Wheat Waffles, but I thought it was better than most of his stuff, thought it made a lot of sense.

I have never really bought into the idea that women only wanted bad boys, and this helps explain it better IMO. According to this, women are really just attracted to the good looking men. But the good looking men with good personalities have girlfriends or wives - or are quickly snapped up - so they're not really on OLD, or on the market. The good looking men who are left are the bad boys. So girls go for the good looking guy, but they turn out to be bad boys. And of course the average looking guys are basically ignored.

90% (if not more) of people in general are invisible, particularly these days because everyone is glued to a screen ignoring most people around them. If you want any attention at all you really need to stand out. Bad boys don't follow social norms, that's what make them stand out to get noticed at all. Being a d!ck is one way to stand out and get noticed, but it isn't the only way. There's plenty of ways to stand out without being an ass to everyone else, but the bad guy doesn't get this.

The best way to stand out is to do something others value, to provide value. Far too few people stand up to serve others these days and do something that's genuinely valued. To be a man of value is to provide value. Bad boys grab the attention, but they're nothing much beneath the surface. They're like good looking women grabbing the attention, but with nothing substantial worth keeping beneath that.

Looks is just a dimension of "grabbing attention" that ultimately doesn't matter much beyond that initial point if there isn't more to it. I'm thinking of pants with fake pockets as a fitting analogy, they might look great, but the fact that the pockets are fake is really just infuriating.

I'm not really sticking to your point here, that the good ones are taken off the market and the crap remains, so let me address that as well. Of course that is the case, it's also the case for women. Those worth being with have a much easier time staying in a relationship, not really rocket science. This part only gets worse with age because the best of them stay in stable relationships, they stay out of "the market". There's a chance of getting lucky because the person was failed by their partner rather than their own fault, but there's less of that with age because generally those with potential learn their lesson. So with age those who are left are those who don't learn their lessons and remain unworthy of being with.

The lesson is to be as present as possible throughout life and never think you have it all figure out, because that's when you lose the humility required to stay on top.

Also, I have no respect for any black pillers even if they come close to the truth, they're ultimately motivated by their need to prove how they're screwed rather than trying to actually solve anything. I don't give a fvck about all the ways something doesn't work, I'm only interested in the ways it DOES work so I can get what I want.

 

[CornbreadFed]

This is a sosuave myth. I know girls personally who don't use dating apps; have they tried? Sure, but they get off right away because they can't handle the onslaught of likes and matches etc.

I know that's anecdotal, but highly sought-after women who have active social lives have no issues meeting men in the wild

You can tell if a guy is struggling with women based on his posts. Guys that equate quantity as a good thing probably have a near empty to empty roster. They cannot fathom how a woman could get on a dating app and have a negative experience.

 

[Bigpapa]

You can tell if a guy is struggling with women based on his posts. Guys that equate quantity as a good thing probably have a near empty to empty roster. They cannot fathom how a woman could get on a dating app and have a negative experience.

i think you can also see this mentality when searching for escorts. Most of them are not good looking at all

I can not really imagine the experience to going to escorts, and the escort not being something nice. Like going somewhere, spending good money, for a very far away experience from nice

but guess that it is more about “ f8cking something “ than an experience you could actually enjoy, as much as you can enjoy paying someone to have s3x with you

 

[Solomon]

You can tell if a guy is struggling with women based on his posts. Guys that equate quantity as a good thing probably have a near empty to empty roster. They cannot fathom how a woman could get on a dating app and have a negative experience.

You bring up something excellent...men who do well with women, especially those who don't use online dating or as an enhancement or supplement to the women they meet in real life, have a totally different experience from men who struggle with women. The biggest takeaway I've noticed after years on the forum the guy's who claim to struggle because of looks, women being highly demanding, feminism etc. When you dig deeper, those guys do not have access (or think they don't) to women outside of online dating, tend to not have social circles (im not even talking about one with women in them but even just guy friends) or hobbies, and tend to have the most issues.

If you go outside you see regular guys with regular girls or you may even see a guy who is average-looking with a hot girl. 90% chance he didn't meet her online and most likely via social circle, etc.

There is a reason why in 2026 guys who do well with women tell men to have hobbies like salsa or ballroom dancing or even running clubs etc. Because once you get out there, you realize it's not all doom and gloom. There are guys who are average and have no issues dating and it's simply because they have active, fulfilling lives.