TheNewStyle123
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2020
- Messages
- 621
- Reaction score
- 464
Lots of thanks to everyone here. I have truly changed as a person in the past (almost) year. My friend recommended TRM to me back in Late Aug/September 2020 when I started my divorce and I thought, "why not? I have no other philosophies or direction right now regarding women, and clearly I need to learn a thing or two."
Fast forward end of May 2021. What a difference. I now know I can successfully spin plates and my confidence has soared. I have never been unable to get women due to my looks (I work out, I'm attractive, and I know how to dress/carry myself), but rather my mindset. I lacked self-esteem likely due to failed relationships in the past and being a serial monogamist throughout college. I got married young (24 years old) and was in a marriage where I was not a leader, but rather a follower. I couldn't even argue with my ex wife anymore because it became insufferable. As a result, my marriage failed (coupled with her BPD and narcissism..)
But now... I know what I want in a relationship, what I don't want in a relationship, and the qualities of a truly good women. Although I am not necessarily where I want to be at this point in my life career wise, I am getting there and making the right moves. I have great friends and family, good health, and a great support system online with this crew.
As per my last post, I met a girl roughly 2 months ago who was much different than the other girls I have met over the year (~25 first dates, 13 bucks, and the occasional BJ lol). I figured I have had a good sample size of women to determine what a 'quality' one is. Because none of these other girls really compared to this one, I figured it would be foolish to keep spinning plates and have her walk away after growing tired of this.
She is Brazilian and has only been in the US for 3 years, therefore she has really good values and is not too 'Americanized.' She isn't selfish, sexually we are really compatible, and I can sense she is a genuine person as well as a hard worker.
Last night when discussing things I asked her: "What are your expectations with us? You asked me if I want to continue to meet other people. Do you?"
She very endearingly answered: "I don't want to meet others. It is not my way. When I like someone I just want to be with them. I have not met others since meeting you - but I don't want to get hurt if we continue things because I may start to really like you. It would be hard to know you're with someone else."
I told her (in Portuguese
): "When I first got divorced I couldn't imagine entering another exclusive relationship with someone because I just wasn't ready. But now... I am ready."
She smiled. Kissed me. Agreed she wants to become exclusive and deleted the dating apps. We bucked. And now I have a girlfriend. Welcome to summer 2021.
Of course, with great power comes great responsibility. This is all new to me. I am now in my first LTR post-divorce. So expect to see me still posting a lot of questions on here hahaha.
Thanks boys.
TL;DR: I now have a girlfriend.
Fast forward end of May 2021. What a difference. I now know I can successfully spin plates and my confidence has soared. I have never been unable to get women due to my looks (I work out, I'm attractive, and I know how to dress/carry myself), but rather my mindset. I lacked self-esteem likely due to failed relationships in the past and being a serial monogamist throughout college. I got married young (24 years old) and was in a marriage where I was not a leader, but rather a follower. I couldn't even argue with my ex wife anymore because it became insufferable. As a result, my marriage failed (coupled with her BPD and narcissism..)
But now... I know what I want in a relationship, what I don't want in a relationship, and the qualities of a truly good women. Although I am not necessarily where I want to be at this point in my life career wise, I am getting there and making the right moves. I have great friends and family, good health, and a great support system online with this crew.
As per my last post, I met a girl roughly 2 months ago who was much different than the other girls I have met over the year (~25 first dates, 13 bucks, and the occasional BJ lol). I figured I have had a good sample size of women to determine what a 'quality' one is. Because none of these other girls really compared to this one, I figured it would be foolish to keep spinning plates and have her walk away after growing tired of this.
She is Brazilian and has only been in the US for 3 years, therefore she has really good values and is not too 'Americanized.' She isn't selfish, sexually we are really compatible, and I can sense she is a genuine person as well as a hard worker.
Last night when discussing things I asked her: "What are your expectations with us? You asked me if I want to continue to meet other people. Do you?"
She very endearingly answered: "I don't want to meet others. It is not my way. When I like someone I just want to be with them. I have not met others since meeting you - but I don't want to get hurt if we continue things because I may start to really like you. It would be hard to know you're with someone else."
I told her (in Portuguese
): "When I first got divorced I couldn't imagine entering another exclusive relationship with someone because I just wasn't ready. But now... I am ready."She smiled. Kissed me. Agreed she wants to become exclusive and deleted the dating apps. We bucked. And now I have a girlfriend. Welcome to summer 2021.
Of course, with great power comes great responsibility. This is all new to me. I am now in my first LTR post-divorce. So expect to see me still posting a lot of questions on here hahaha.
Thanks boys.
TL;DR: I now have a girlfriend.
