6 month update

[phil2015]

Hey guys,

Haven't posted really in here in a few months so I thought I would update you with my current situation in life. Also after my narc/bpd/unstable woman situation earlier on in the year my mindset/lifestyle outlook has drastically altered.

Since May/June when I was chatting about things I have dated a few women and met a number of people. A few examples and outlines are listed below...

Girl A). Met her in June and dated for 6 weeks. She was 10 years older than me and didn't sleep together until the 5th time we met. I got the feeling she wanted me to chase her and she got uneasy that I wasn't texting/calling her all day. Said she found me 'distant and arrogant' after I started making us a cup of tea whilst we were talking (she was 6 feet away). Eventually ghosted her after she killed my attraction dead by having explosive diarrhea in my toilet.

Girl B). Met her online around July/August. Due to parenting situation she was only free literally one day a month and I would pick her up from the train station. Eventually tired of this but was happy to keep playing whilst she was around.

Girl C). Met her online late September and she became very overly attached very fast. Wanted to be with me all the time and withing 2 weeks was having the 'lets slow things down a bit' conversation with her. She would invite herself over 6 nights out of 7 and became very possessive. Couldn't take it any more and flat out told her to stop contacting me and back off, she responded by turning up at my house and forcing her way in when I opened the door.

Girl D). Met her at work 3 weeks ago....Possible BPD girl here - Insane tattoo addiction, on medication for depression/anxiety and went to counselling sessions every 2 weeks. Had a 7 year old daughter who she 'accidentally' allowed to meet me the first time I went to her house. Her daughter was also in weekly counselling sessions. She was a social butterfly and life and soul of the party, yet at home was a lonely insecure mess. I noticed fleas at her house....
Called things off with her this morning after she said it was unfair I would not let her meet my family as fast as I met her daughter.

My outcome of all of this is that I do not feel like I want to be with anyone at all.

I have focussed on my life itself over the past 6 months too. I have toned up, altered my diet, focussed on my creative side and have managed to pay off my mortgage at age 33.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

I literally feel like I am enjoying being alone, spending time doing the things I like and being in complete control of my lifestyle and direction.

Yet I don't want to feel like I am being selfish by cutting off links with unproductive people also.

Ant thoughts and opinions much appreciated

 

[phil2015]

you are dating the wrong age bracket.

you should be targeting 20-23 year olds ideally or mid 20s at worst

Girl A was 43
Girl B was 36
Girl C was 37
Girl D was 27

I'm 33 - I had made the assumption that being older they would be more mature and stable

 

[ubercat]

Get a nice bottle of port if you want something that improves with age. Woman aren't meant to slvt around for as long as they do now - it damages them.

 

[lizardking82]

You can modify young girls as you want while women over 24/25 have usually been "created" and "engineered" by someone else. They are, especially in this day and age, damaged goods. Young girls, you stand a chance. I mean, 1 of the 3 girls I am bangin' right now is 17, dude. Drop dead gorgeous and behaves like a little puppy LOL cause I am teaching her the ways.

 

[Thorninmyside]

At 33 you date 25-year-olds, not single moms and old ladies with diarrhoea.

 

[resilient]

Phil, I would raise your standards in screening. You can do better man. You’ve had solid advice from DJs since coming here.

On the forum it seemed like you’ve learned, matured, took care of yourself with your health and your finances, yet you’re still struggling for a decent LTR option this year.

With your investment in self, you should be able to pull higher HBs. So again, I’m going to echo here that you should raise your standards... with increased self-respect and self-esteem, you’ll next a plate faster that is acting up earlier.

Good to hear you paid off your mortgage so early in your life. Props.

 

[Masculinity]

Hey guys,

Haven't posted really in here in a few months so I thought I would update you with my current situation in life. Also after my narc/bpd/unstable woman situation earlier on in the year my mindset/lifestyle outlook has drastically altered.

Since May/June when I was chatting about things I have dated a few women and met a number of people. A few examples and outlines are listed below...

Girl A). Met her in June and dated for 6 weeks. She was 10 years older than me and didn't sleep together until the 5th time we met. I got the feeling she wanted me to chase her and she got uneasy that I wasn't texting/calling her all day. Said she found me 'distant and arrogant' after I started making us a cup of tea whilst we were talking (she was 6 feet away). Eventually ghosted her after she killed my attraction dead by having explosive diarrhea in my toilet.

Girl B). Met her online around July/August. Due to parenting situation she was only free literally one day a month and I would pick her up from the train station. Eventually tired of this but was happy to keep playing whilst she was around.

Girl C). Met her online late September and she became very overly attached very fast. Wanted to be with me all the time and withing 2 weeks was having the 'lets slow things down a bit' conversation with her. She would invite herself over 6 nights out of 7 and became very possessive. Couldn't take it any more and flat out told her to stop contacting me and back off, she responded by turning up at my house and forcing her way in when I opened the door.

Girl D). Met her at work 3 weeks ago....Possible BPD girl here - Insane tattoo addiction, on medication for depression/anxiety and went to counselling sessions every 2 weeks. Had a 7 year old daughter who she 'accidentally' allowed to meet me the first time I went to her house. Her daughter was also in weekly counselling sessions. She was a social butterfly and life and soul of the party, yet at home was a lonely insecure mess. I noticed fleas at her house....
Called things off with her this morning after she said it was unfair I would not let her meet my family as fast as I met her daughter.

My outcome of all of this is that I do not feel like I want to be with anyone at all.

I have focussed on my life itself over the past 6 months too. I have toned up, altered my diet, focussed on my creative side and have managed to pay off my mortgage at age 33.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

I literally feel like I am enjoying being alone, spending time doing the things I like and being in complete control of my lifestyle and direction.

Yet I don't want to feel like I am being selfish by cutting off links with unproductive people also.

Ant thoughts and opinions much appreciated

There's nothing wrong with taking a break from dating. Use that time to think about what type of women you want and what kind of goals you have. A ship without a plan only drifts in the ocean.