Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

5 things I would tell my younger self about girls.

Colossus

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I was originally going to post this in the Mature Man forum, but I think it would be of better use here. I borrowed some of the titles from a RoK article, but the descriptions are my own.

1. Don't take girls too seriously.

When I was younger (teens and early twenties), I took to heart some really hurtful stuff that in truth had nothing to do with me. Nothing a young girl says or does is really that important, and most of the time it is a reflection of her own chaotic emotions, insecurity, and even personality/mood disorders.

Take both compliments and insults with a grain of salt, an most importantly do not take any dating advice you receive from the opposite sex to heart. Consider it objectively, then make your own choice. They are usually wrong even if they are trying to help you.

2. Dont get so down on yourself as a young guy.

I really used to beat on myself mentally when I failed or got rejected. I let it get to me to the point I was clinically depressed. Today I realize I was dealing with selfish, horrendously insecure, unstable creatures who couldn't think their way out of a paper bag. I was way too hard on myself.

Now, I do acknowledge that my disgusting beta herbsim was partially to blame, and I think as a man you should always be taking personal inventory and ruthlessly working to correct your weaknesses and bad habits. But cut yourself some slack. It's a journey, not an overnight goal.

3. Don't try to argue or reason with them.

You'll lose. Not because you aren't intelligent and the more rational of the two, but you can't level with someone who isn't stable and level-headed to begin with. Let it go. Give yourself the gift of freedom.

4. Take them off that pedestal.

Do not, under penalty of death, EVER put a female on a pedestal, unless she is your own dear mother. When you get a bit older you realize that girls and women are imperfect people who sit down to poop just like you. They fvck up all the time, and half the time they don't even know what they want, much less what they need. Be a realist. Even that gorgeous HB 9 virgin you are crushing on has imperfections and poor ways of dealing with problems, and will tool you if you pedestalize her. Expect this, and be free.

5. Don't ever cry over spilled milk.

I'll let you guys in on a little secret: She's never "the one" at 19. Or 21. Or even 23. If it doesn't work out with a particular girl, MOVE ON. Do not be that guy who goes back to the garbage after it's been dragged to the curb. The effort and pain you will suffer to try and mend a screwed relationship will be far better spent meeting NEW girls who like you and gaining more experience. Remember---you can never go wrong by getting more experience with women. It's like currency you store away for yourself that builds a steady interest. When you are 30 you will be able to draw off of it comfortably, and make decisions like a boss.
 
B

BeDJ

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When did I ever rep you Colossus? These threads give me a raging boner. After my LTR ended, I officially went on my first date one year ago. I have dated over 40 women since then.

The first one worked worked at a fvcking coin laundromat and we went on 4 dates. I took her to eat sushi on the first date, the bill came out to $50. We went bowling on the second and hung out with her friends on the third. On her B-day I bought her a cake and I finally kiss closed her as she was LEAVING MY BEDROOM. Two weeks later, she introduced me to her boyfriend - Fatter and Uglier than I.

What. The. Fvck.

The next one, I took her out for coffee, second date we were drinking RUM in my bedroom. Make-out for BDJ! OMG! Next date, I rewarded her with a fancy dinner and she refused to come inside EVEN though her car was at my place. I never heard from her again.

WHAT. THE. FVCK.

The third, I we met at Starbucks and took our drinks to the park for the first date. I went in for the kiss and we made out. I cut the date short (1 hour) because I had to go. On the second date, she invited me to her place for dinner and we had sex.

WHAT? THE? FVCK?

So from then on, I would push the envelope and see what I could get away with on the first date. Most of them would be reciprocate to the kiss during the first date. This led to quite a few SNL's. I was surprised how many women I kissed who I never heard from again. A kiss at the end of the date RARELY led to second dates for me. On the other hand, women that REJECTED my kiss on the first date have slept with me later.

The more I tried to analyze, the more I was truly confused. It didn't make sense, and IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE dealing with women. So how do you deal with women?

In Abundance


BeginningDJ said:
Ever had a girl go silent?
Ever sat by your phone and wait for her call/text?
Ever wondered why she flaked on you?

Why is there that uneasy feeling in your stomach? Because you cared too much. The thought of losing her scares you! And that is why you will lose the girl.

No, I'm not going to tell you to think you are the prize, find hobbies, spin plates, make her chase you, etc. These are the byproducts of becoming indifferent.

No matter how good you are at something, there are 10 other people that are better. Do your best, accept the rest. Stop demanding joy, attention and friends. Allow people to disregard you, it's fine. You have probably done it to others.

Who you are should never depend on externalities like your image or possessions. Every externality can fade (looks, fame, power, money, etc.) Become ZEN!

Indifference means you are in control of your emotions and your own true happiness. You will make decision based on your happiness and rules. You are conducting the greatest show on earth - YOUR LIFE

She didn't give you her number - Oh Well
She flaked out on a date - Whatever
She hasn't responded - Ok
She won't put out - So?


I PROMISE YOU that you will start spending time with highly interested women.
I ASSURE YOU that you will attract women you want.
I GUARANTEE YOU that you will be happy.
This did not directly bring me success with women, but it created the mentality that brought me success. In order to be efficient with women, you have to treat them in abundance. Meaning, if you are worried about what she thinks of you, YOU WILL BE CONFUSED. YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. YOU WILL FAIL.

In order to have success, you should not worry about being successful!

Huh?

Yeah, that sounded better in my head. In other words, don't worry about having sex with women and you will have sex with them.

Wait...

...
......
.........


Be Outcome Independent!
 

Pimp-sicle

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BeginningDJ said:
When did I ever rep you Colossus? These threads give me a raging boner. After my LTR ended, I officially went on my first date one year ago. I have dated over 40 women since then.

The first one worked worked at a fvcking coin laundromat and we went on 4 dates. I took her to eat sushi on the first date, the bill came out to $50. We went bowling on the second and hung out with her friends on the third. On her B-day I bought her a cake and I finally kiss closed her as she was LEAVING MY BEDROOM. Two weeks later, she introduced me to her boyfriend - Fatter and Uglier than I.

What. The. Fvck.

The next one, I took her out for coffee, second date we were drinking RUM in my bedroom. Make-out for BDJ! OMG! Next date, I rewarded her with a fancy dinner and she refused to come inside EVEN though her car was at my place. I never heard from her again.

WHAT. THE. FVCK.

The third, I we met at Starbucks and took our drinks to the park for the first date. I went in for the kiss and we made out. I cut the date short (1 hour) because I had to go. On the second date, she invited me to her place for dinner and we had sex.

WHAT? THE? FVCK?

So from then on, I would push the envelope and see what I could get away with on the first date. Most of them would be reciprocate to the kiss during the first date. This led to quite a few SNL's. I was surprised how many women I kissed who I never heard from again. A kiss at the end of the date RARELY led to second dates for me. On the other hand, women that REJECTED my kiss on the first date have slept with me later.

The more I tried to analyze, the more I was truly confused. It didn't make sense, and IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE dealing with women. So how do you deal with women?

In Abundance



This did not directly bring me success with women, but it created the mentality that brought me success. In order to be efficient with women, you have to treat them in abundance. Meaning, if you are worried about what she thinks of you, YOU WILL BE CONFUSED. YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. YOU WILL FAIL.

In order to have success, you should not worry about being successful!

Huh?

Yeah, that sounded better in my head. In other words, don't worry about having sex with women and you will have sex with them.

Wait...

...
......
.........


Be Outcome Independent!



Great post bro, very true and well said.













PIMP
 

SteR

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The two biggest lessons I think I've learned over the years are 1. Have fun with girls and 2. Treat them like children
 

j0504s

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Colossus said:
I was originally going to post this in the Mature Man forum, but I think it would be of better use here. I borrowed some of the titles from a RoK article, but the descriptions are my own.

1. Don't take girls too seriously.

When I was younger (teens and early twenties), I took to heart some really hurtful stuff that in truth had nothing to do with me. Nothing a young girl says or does is really that important, and most of the time it is a reflection of her own chaotic emotions, insecurity, and even personality/mood disorders.

Take both compliments and insults with a grain of salt, an most importantly do not take any dating advice you receive from the opposite sex to heart. Consider it objectively, then make your own choice. They are usually wrong even if they are trying to help you.

2. Dont get so down on yourself as a young guy.

I really used to beat on myself mentally when I failed or got rejected. I let it get to me to the point I was clinically depressed. Today I realize I was dealing with selfish, horrendously insecure, unstable creatures who couldn't think their way out of a paper bag. I was way too hard on myself.

Now, I do acknowledge that my disgusting beta herbsim was partially to blame, and I think as a man you should always be taking personal inventory and ruthlessly working to correct your weaknesses and bad habits. But cut yourself some slack. It's a journey, not an overnight goal.

3. Don't try to argue or reason with them.

You'll lose. Not because you aren't intelligent and the more rational of the two, but you can't level with someone who isn't stable and level-headed to begin with. Let it go. Give yourself the gift of freedom.

4. Take them off that pedestal.

Do not, under penalty of death, EVER put a female on a pedestal, unless she is your own dear mother. When you get a bit older you realize that girls and women are imperfect people who sit down to poop just like you. They fvck up all the time, and half the time they don't even know what they want, much less what they need. Be a realist. Even that gorgeous HB 9 virgin you are crushing on has imperfections and poor ways of dealing with problems, and will tool you if you pedestalize her. Expect this, and be free.

5. Don't ever cry over spilled milk.

I'll let you guys in on a little secret: She's never "the one" at 19. Or 21. Or even 23. If it doesn't work out with a particular girl, MOVE ON. Do not be that guy who goes back to the garbage after it's been dragged to the curb. The effort and pain you will suffer to try and mend a screwed relationship will be far better spent meeting NEW girls who like you and gaining more experience. Remember---you can never go wrong by getting more experience with women. It's like currency you store away for yourself that builds a steady interest. When you are 30 you will be able to draw off of it comfortably, and make decisions like a boss.

good thread you should send this thread over to highschool furom...they can use this and understand what the vets think!
 

PlayHer Man

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Great posts and very true. We never realize how ignorant and clueless we are as young men until we get older. When I'm 40 I'll probably think I was a moron at age 29.

I'm not sure if you were looking for a chain of additions to this thread or just a thread for people to soak up. Either way, here are some additions:

6. Don't Chase

A woman who is being cold, distant and elusive is not too "busy" and in most cases she didn't "forget" or get "distracted". She just isn't into you. Her taco isn't tingling. Take the hint and move on.

7. Don't Be Too Accepting

Often men will let just about any sh!tty behavior slide if the woman is attractive enough. This might be similar to pedestalization. But its important not to let women get away with bad behavior. Don't accept a nasty personality or bad treatment.

8. Be Willing to Walk

Lots of men will reach a point where they are ready to move on to a different girl, but they stay because they don't want to hurt the girl they are with or they fear making an enemy of her. Other times its just fear of change and laziness.

NEVER put her happiness before your own. If you have to be miserable for her to stay with you, then its time to say goodbye.

9. Don't Analyze Her

You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out her inconsistent emotions and random behavior. Don't bother. The more you analyze the more obsessed you become. Don't make her problems your problems. Don't stress yourself out over her personal drama. Don't get upset if she is not happy 24/7.

Just enjoy her company, f*ck her and live your own life. Have parts of your life that don't involve her and keep places in your heart and mind independent of your bond with her.

10. Don't Change Direction

Lots of men change the direction of their life for a girl. I know a few friends who moved to different cities to be with a girl. Some guys make the girl's dreams their dreams and squander their time and energy trying to help her succeed and protect her instead of attaining their own goals. Some get married or have kids before they are ready. DON'T.

Never let a woman kill your dreams. Men are the backbone of society and essential to progress. A woman should support a rising man.. not the other way around. A man's dreams should come before EVERYTHING.

I remember in one episode of The Sopranos where Christopher gets "made" Tony tells him something along the lines of: "This comes before everything. Your wife, your kids, your family. Its a thing of honor. As that card burns in your hand so should your soul burn in hell if you betray your friends (the mob)."

I view the Mafia in that situation to be a good analogy for a man's life purpose. It should come first. If its to cure cancer, become a rapper, attain an Olympic gold metal, etc. it should be #1.

In my younger days I made all those mistakes above to some degree except for #10. But I've seen a lot of others do #10. I have some friends doing it RIGHT NOW :nono:
 
Last edited:

Colossus

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Great additions, and they are really all variants on the same theme---EXPERIENCE.

Young guys reading this: You cannot get to that state of outcome-independence without experience. You cannot get to the point of an abundance mindset without experience. You cannot get to the point of having non-negotiables and the constitution to WALK with out experience. And it's different for every guy. There is no magic number of lays or dates that is one-size fits all.

Newbies and AFCs want a quick fix. They want to come on the forums and read a post or a principle that will be like the missing link and suddenly all of their girl problems will disappear with this sacred knowledge. There is no quick fix. You can't "get it" with one post, or one number, or one date, or one great lay. It takes time, persistence, reflection, and optimization.

There is also no pot of gold at the end of the game rainbow. In fact, the game never ends. You just want to get to a place where the wisdom is internalized and the Alpha You is second nature. Then you are free to go on about your life and brush up on fundamentals as needed. Game benefits everyone. It's not just about pickup, or lays; it's about LIFE, and being a proper Man in this day and age of ego-centric young women, misandry, and grown boys who are afraid of p!ssing women off.

Keep pursuing experience and wisdom, and one day this whole masculinity/femininity thing will click for you.
 

LorenzoVonM

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Great post. I will add when you follow all these rules many women will leave you for a more beta provider type. If you just accept it and wish them well, they will be back if their new relationship implodes. And with needy betas it often does. She will remember you fondly as the guy who wouldn't falter despite all her unconscious manipulation and tests. That will signal to her alpha. That is a rare guy indeed. Over time you will have women coming in and out of your life that adore you for many many years.
 
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BeDJ

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LorenzoVonM said:
Great post. I will add when you follow all these rules many women will leave you for a more beta provider type. If you just accept it and wish them well, they will be back if their new relationship implodes. And with needy betas it often does. She will remember you fondly as the guy who wouldn't falter despite all her unconscious manipulation and tests. That will signal to her alpha. That is a rare guy indeed. Over time you will have women coming in and out of your life that adore you for many many years.
This is why you go NC with your ex.

Have a rep my man!
 

Packers2010

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great post man.

5 things i would tell me younger self as of today. ( i'm in a ****ty mood)

1) punch your bully square in the face and curb stomp him on his head then piss on his corps

2) depression is for weak people

3) ALWAYS have one foot out of the door

4) YOU are the boss. no one else

5) don't drink, smoke cigs, smoke weed gamble or look at porn at all it's a dead end waste of time!
 

Atom Smasher

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PlayHer Man said:
Great posts and very true. We never realize how ignorant and clueless we are as young men until we get older. When I'm 40 I'll probably think I was a moron at age 29.
You don't know the half of it. When I look back at what a clueless moron I was at age 30 I cringe. I can even say that about 40.
 
B

BeDJ

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Atom Smasher said:
You don't know the half of it. When I look back at what a clueless moron I was at age 30 I cringe. I can even say that about 40.
Can we listen to a chapter from Uncle Atom's Bedtime Stories?
 

SteR

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Atom Smasher said:
You don't know the half of it. When I look back at what a clueless moron I was at age 30 I cringe. I can even say that about 40.
BeginningDJ said:
Can we listen to a chapter from Uncle Atom's Bedtime Stories?
Yea come on Atom.. share the wealth! :)
 

Atom Smasher

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BeginningDJ said:
Can we listen to a chapter from Uncle Atom's Bedtime Stories?
Sorry, boys... Uncle Atom is busy recovering from back surgery and doesn't want to experience the pain of past douchery, at least right now.

If the spirit moves me I'll throw in some examples, but right now I mercifully have a mental block.
 

fuzzball

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SteR said:
Yea come on Atom.. share the wealth! :)
yes be a dirty commie share that wealth!!! lol

seriously i wouldnt mind hearing a story when he feels up too it.

for me i would tell my younger self five things maybe more but im lazy.

1. remember that guilty conscious voice in your head that screamed DONT LOOK AT PORN....yea listen to that before i beat you across the head with a baseball bat.

2. i would tell my younger teenage self you were right all along. girls are basically morons but by gawd they are hot. that said they are idiots. they rarely have conversations i give 2 craps about but thats ok its who they are. but remember society is trying to deprogram you. trust no one. your basic instincts are right with how to deal with them. YOU LEAD THEM AND THROW THEM IN THEIR PLACE. this is NOT SEXIST. its masculinity vs femininity. for petes sake society is lying to you trying to deprogram you and beat this out of you. look at your near 29 year old pathetic self trying to reclaim his lost manhood because society beat it out of him....take a long hard look at him....cry for him....now dont follow in my footsteps. your child like attitude where you used to say "thats a girls job" is dead on. apparently as a child i used to refuse to do somethings stating thats a girls job. while it needed some refinement the basic principle and philosophy i was clearly displaying was dead on. yes your family will use these stories to guilt and shame and mock you into deprogramming your manhood...ignore them and do it anyway.

3. you are a naturally gifted public speaker despite being a shy introverted bum. for petes sake use this gift and for the love of all things dont ask how a shy introverted person has such a random gift....JUST USE IT!!!!!

4. take your own damn advice you braindead ****.

5. people tend to like the real you. you also are quite capable of being the leader of situations and thinking your feet quite well.....so STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK. go do what you naturally do best TAKE CHARGE. DONT LET THIS GIFT ATROPHY

great thread i love it.
 

Purefilth

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Atom Smasher said:
Sorry, boys... Uncle Atom is busy recovering from back surgery and doesn't want to experience the pain of past douchery, at least right now.

If the spirit moves me I'll throw in some examples, but right now I mercifully have a mental block.
Sharing is caring Uncle Atom.

Consider it therapy.:rock:
 

sharkbeat

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Probably this one: Don't Treat Women Like They Need To be Saved

I think this is one of the root causes of chumpism. In freaking almost all children stories, it always involves some sort of saving the princess. Save her from that castle. Get her that precious shoes. Bring her this, bring her that. Even in today's children movies, the same sh1t are being repeated over and over again. The hero of the story always has to be doing something to qualify himself to the girl, whether that's killing some innocent dragon, winning a race, or bringing a fvcking tree. So they can live happily ever after.

This sh1t has been brainwashing sons since who knows when.
 

Vice

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Colossus said:
3. Don't try to argue or reason with them.

You'll lose. Not because you aren't intelligent and the more rational of the two, but you can't level with someone who isn't stable and level-headed to begin with. Let it go. Give yourself the gift of freedom.
This is really good. That concept has slowly been seeping into me on its own for a while, this is the first time I've read something that's actually "set" it in my mind, like concrete drying.

This also goes beyond women; many men and middle class people are easier to deal with if I just humor them. Sometimes I'll even entertain myself by asking questions that force them to articulate their own fallacies. :kick:
 

fuzzball

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Vice said:
This is really good. That concept has slowly been seeping into me on its own for a while, this is the first time I've read something that's actually "set" it in my mind, like concrete drying.

This also goes beyond women; many men and middle class people are easier to deal with if I just humor them. Sometimes I'll even entertain myself by asking questions that force them to articulate their own fallacies. :kick:
you can always ask them leading questions. usually people cant catch on until its too late thus proving you are right and getting a good laugh at their own idiocy or perhaps even enlightening them in the process.

sharkbeat said:
Probably this one: Don't Treat Women Like They Need To be Saved

I think this is one of the root causes of chumpism. In freaking almost all children stories, it always involves some sort of saving the princess. Save her from that castle. Get her that precious shoes. Bring her this, bring her that. Even in today's children movies, the same sh1t are being repeated over and over again. The hero of the story always has to be doing something to qualify himself to the girl, whether that's killing some innocent dragon, winning a race, or bringing a fvcking tree. So they can live happily ever after.

This sh1t has been brainwashing sons since who knows when.
i know right? and those girls wont even make the hero a sandwich or anything
 
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