5/31/25 NG FR (Fumble)

[nicksaiz65]

Not too eventful of a night, but I still wanted to write a FR. I definitely made some mistakes and I wanted to get some feedback on them, plus share for learning.

My wing/roommate wanted to come out to this session again, looks like he's coming out to the weekend ones again. We got out at a reasonable time: a bit closer to midnight this time though.

We went to our usual bar and did a few approaches on the way. Mostly blowouts up to this point. I then saw another goth-type girl and approached her directly ("Hey, thought you were cute and wanted to meet you.") My wing occupied the unattractive friend.

The vibe was awesome. The conversation flowed easily and we had a lot of similar interest. We shared where we were from, our interests, talked about the scene, art(she was an artsy type of girl), differences between Nashville and NY, her showing me her art, so on and so forth. I kept the conversation flirtatious as well. The body language was excellent, and I made sure to be physical as well. It seemed like she was feeling me, she made the conversation easy and reciprocated touching. She also started asking me questions near the end of the interaction too, which is always a good sign. She mentioned how I had the exact same name as her ex of 5 years, how she always ends up dating musicians and making their cover art(I'm a retired musician myself)... She was also making sexual references about how I was "raw dogging my phone" (by not having a case and having it cracked, it is what it is )

The mistake I made was not pushing hard enough for the pull. What I SHOULD'VE said is "Drinks here are expensive. I'm feeling the vibe, I live close by. We should go rip some shots and then come back." Then I could've pulled my wing in, and updated him with the plans. Then I could've held my girls hand and walked with her to the car. Then I could've gone for the close at the afterparty.

Instead, I got her number and said "we're having an afterparty later on tonight. You should come through." I got her number (on which she insisted on taking a picture with me and putting a bunch of emojis in my phone) and she was like "that picture is so cute!"

As I type this out, I'm realizing that this was a major fumble. Rookie mistake. I don't know what I was thinking going for the number instead of the pull. I guess I was thinking that we should do other sets too or I shouldn't be in this set all night? But that's incorrect, I need to strike while the iron is hot. I have to remember that the Pull is always Plan A and a number is a last resort. I need to be pushing HARD for the pull.

Getting a number and then meeting up with them later seems to not be ideal. That's not how it works, I need to be pushing really hard for the pull right then and get the number as a last resort. I ended up getting the number and I invited her, but she didn't come through. She said "We're tired so we'll pass on drinks, but it was so nice to meet you " I tried to setup a margarita date for during the week but it's extremely likely she'll flake. I REALLY have to strike while the iron is hot.

Basically, in this situation, I'm being too passive, and not leading hard enough, that's why it failed.

We had another two set that seemed to hook pretty well. They were "going to another bar then going home." It was a good vibe between all of us as well. I suppose we could've gone with them to that bar and then invited them back to the afterparty? We opted not to go with them, though.

So, that's my self assessment. Just wanted to type this up so I don't forget these mistakes in the future, and maybe a bit of feedback as well.

 

[SW15]

As I type this out, I'm realizing that this was a major fumble. Rookie mistake. I don't know what I was thinking going for the number instead of the pull. I guess I was thinking that we should do other sets too or I shouldn't be in this set all night? But that's incorrect, I need to strike while the iron is hot. I have to remember that the Pull is always Plan A and a number is a last resort. I need to be pushing HARD for the pull.

If it's a Friday night/early Saturday morning or Saturday night/early Sunday morning and you are in a bar, the only play is to go for the pull. 1 AM early on a Saturday morning is not the time to be collecting random phone numbers to call or text days later. At worst, you could try to set a date on the spot at 1 AM, but that's after exhausting the options to have same night sex. It's generally going to be difficult to arrange a future social outing for 2-7 days in the future at 1-3 AM early on a weekend morning.

Phone numbers alone are worthless without committed plans for a future social outing. That's true for both daygame and nightgame.

If a man is in a situation where he's making future social plans at 1-3 AM, there's a good chance that those future social plans will never happen. There's a good chance that even if a woman agrees to a future social outing at 1:45 AM on Saturday morning, it's unlikely that social outing for Tuesday or Wednesday night will happen. There's a good chance she flakes before then.

the afterparty

It seems like you think too much about an afterparty.

You need to frame things as coming home to your place. No afterparty. The focus is just to come home for sex.

I have never had a roommate that was also a wingman though.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

With a regular chick, this was a fumble. This was an artsy chick, they are more sensitive and deeper (not as superficial) so she might have wanted to build more rapport. OP, build some rapport over text and go get that marg date.

 

[BPH]

Sounds like you already know what you did wrong, that's good.

At some level, you probably didn't feel confident enough to ask for more than you thought you could get - the number is "safer" than inviting her home.

My general recommendation is to keep going until you're stopped, otherwise, you may never find out how well things could've gone.

 

[nicksaiz65]

If it's a Friday night/early Saturday morning or Saturday night/early Sunday morning and you are in a bar, the only play is to go for the pull. 1 AM early on a Saturday morning is not the time to be collecting random phone numbers to call or text days later. At worst, you could try to set a date on the spot at 1 AM, but that's after exhausting the options to have same night sex. It's generally going to be difficult to arrange a future social outing for 2-7 days in the future at 1-3 AM early on a weekend morning.

Phone numbers alone are worthless without committed plans for a future social outing. That's true for both daygame and nightgame.

If a man is in a situation where he's making future social plans at 1-3 AM, there's a good chance that those future social plans will never happen. There's a good chance that even if a woman agrees to a future social outing at 1:45 AM on Saturday morning, it's unlikely that social outing for Tuesday or Wednesday night will happen. There's a good chance she flakes before then.

Agreed. I'll remember this. The pull is always Plan A.

It seems like you think too much about an afterparty.

You need to frame things as coming home to your place. No afterparty. The focus is just to come home for sex.

I have never had a roommate that was also a wingman though.

I've been using the term "afterparty" but I'm going to begin saying "drinks at my place."

 

[SW15]

I'm going to begin saying "drinks at my place."

That's better. Also, you could invite women to your place to see something unique that's at your place. Plenty of seduction articles/videos have mentioned doing this as a way to get same night sex or first date sex.

If there is nothing unique at your place, "drinks at your place" is good enough.

 

[nicksaiz65]

That's better. Also, you could invite women to your place to see something unique that's at your place. Plenty of seduction articles/videos have mentioned doing this as a way to get same night sex or first date sex.

If there is nothing unique at your place, "drinks at your place" is good enough.

That works too. We do own a dart board and cards against humanity. I like the phrasing of "drinks at my place" though.

First half of the night:
"Drinks here are expensive. We should go back to mine and rip some shots, we'll come back."

Second half of the night:
"Everywhere is closed. We should keep the night going and rip some shots back at mine."

 

[nicksaiz65]

If a man is in a situation where he's making future social plans at 1-3 AM, there's a good chance that those future social plans will never happen. There's a good chance that even if a woman agrees to a future social outing at 1:45 AM on Saturday morning, it's unlikely that social outing for Tuesday or Wednesday night will happen. There's a good chance she flakes before then.

With a regular chick, this was a fumble. This was an artsy chick, they are more sensitive and deeper (not as superficial) so she might have wanted to build more rapport. OP, build some rapport over text and go get that marg date.

Unfortunately, it happened. She flaked. Next!

 

[nicksaiz65]

Sounds like you already know what you did wrong, that's good.

At some level, you probably didn't feel confident enough to ask for more than you thought you could get - the number is "safer" than inviting her home.

My general recommendation is to keep going until you're stopped, otherwise, you may never find out how well things could've gone.

Yeah, just not pushing hard enough in the moment. I'll remember this lesson for next time though. Totally agree with your recommendation.

 

[SW15]

We do own a dart board and cards against humanity

Not unique enough. Stick with drinks at your place as the lure. That could help with same night sex.

Unfortunately, it happened. She flaked. Next!

Night game prospects tend to be a bit flaky. I think only online prospects are more flaky.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Night game prospects tend to be a bit flaky. I think only online prospects are more flaky.

I've seen them rarely convert(not with myself, with others in the game) but they, in general, are incredibly flaky.

That's why we have to push the interaction as far as humanly possible in person.

In this set, I thought "I vibed with her, I'll do some other sets, get the number, and then invite her back later tonight for drinks at mine."

Even that wasn't good enough. That's not how it works, I should've tried to pull her right then while we were face to face and she was feeling the vibe.