JoseAlonso787
New Member
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2011
- Messages
- 1
- Reaction score
- 0
I met her in July 2007. Started dating.
Officially went exclusive in August 2007.
Moved in together unplanned after having to move out of my mother's at age 20, I was a full time student, lost my job, didn't put the effort necessary because I believed in focusing entirely on school, mom didn't.
This was September of 2009.
Went in between jobs, crashed my car, became dependent on using her car. One thing after another started happening: She kind of lost her ways to being passionate about painting & poetry but this was actually before the moving in with her thing & I kind of lost motivation for a lot of things. I would work, but not care. Ironic that we'd always previously talked about the fact that moving in too early is something that could potential ruin things. We had always talked about the best time to move in with the SO would be in mid 30's once your career is stable & ready for family.
Horrible approach to it. Didn't work towards getting a car, I'd just spend money on stupid things. Just made bad choices, but the relationship was always good. Whenever we'd go out, it'd be a blast, we have very compatible personalities. Great sex. After a while, money was an issue with me & my lack of motivation didn't help. Later on, I noticed this trend that in every argument she'd say she was unhappy. I always had this feeling that it was the living together scenario. Anyway, I decided in September to enlist into the Navy because I know I need to make changes & make them happen before it's too late. Last week, she mentioned that we needed a change and that was for me to move out. I suppose the final straw was that I'd lost my job a few weeks ago & once again, horrible approach thinking "Meh, I'm going to the military, I'll enjoy this time with my girl, family & friends and I'll look for a part time job while collecting unemployment". Embarrassing, I know. I feel like a whole different person already.
We talked, she told me it'd just been building up over time. The whole feeling like she has to take care of me. She loves us, she just let it build way too much. We've agreed that proper communication could've been executed. I'd expressed to her long ago that I would appreciate the sit downs & her to explain what she NEEDS to have peace of mind. She'd never do that. Both regret that now being that it got to this point. But anyway, I'm back at my mother's & am going to bootcamp in September 2012. I'm looking for work & feeling extremely positive about things. I just feel like I've been growing up and not taking action because of my state of complacement & now seeing that I can't slack, I'm finally on track to growing up.
We came to a conclusion that we're still dating, just with one another having a lot more "me" time as we feel like that'd be best case for me. She's never lived on her own, so I could definitely understand her individuality & she also stated that she wants to get used to the whole not being around me everyday thing as I'm going to be leaving. I guess I just want advice on how to approach this. Sometimes I feel she's slightly distant. Think it stems from her defense mechanism being that it's a reality that I'm going to the military. I've been known as one to say things & not execute on them & once she heard that I turned in my papers (last Tuesday) She had this "talk" with me on last Wednesday & we didn't spend Turkey Day together because she was going through a world of emotions. Ask questions and I'll provide answers & I'd love the help. Way too much to type in here.
Officially went exclusive in August 2007.
Moved in together unplanned after having to move out of my mother's at age 20, I was a full time student, lost my job, didn't put the effort necessary because I believed in focusing entirely on school, mom didn't.
This was September of 2009.
Went in between jobs, crashed my car, became dependent on using her car. One thing after another started happening: She kind of lost her ways to being passionate about painting & poetry but this was actually before the moving in with her thing & I kind of lost motivation for a lot of things. I would work, but not care. Ironic that we'd always previously talked about the fact that moving in too early is something that could potential ruin things. We had always talked about the best time to move in with the SO would be in mid 30's once your career is stable & ready for family.
Horrible approach to it. Didn't work towards getting a car, I'd just spend money on stupid things. Just made bad choices, but the relationship was always good. Whenever we'd go out, it'd be a blast, we have very compatible personalities. Great sex. After a while, money was an issue with me & my lack of motivation didn't help. Later on, I noticed this trend that in every argument she'd say she was unhappy. I always had this feeling that it was the living together scenario. Anyway, I decided in September to enlist into the Navy because I know I need to make changes & make them happen before it's too late. Last week, she mentioned that we needed a change and that was for me to move out. I suppose the final straw was that I'd lost my job a few weeks ago & once again, horrible approach thinking "Meh, I'm going to the military, I'll enjoy this time with my girl, family & friends and I'll look for a part time job while collecting unemployment". Embarrassing, I know. I feel like a whole different person already.
We talked, she told me it'd just been building up over time. The whole feeling like she has to take care of me. She loves us, she just let it build way too much. We've agreed that proper communication could've been executed. I'd expressed to her long ago that I would appreciate the sit downs & her to explain what she NEEDS to have peace of mind. She'd never do that. Both regret that now being that it got to this point. But anyway, I'm back at my mother's & am going to bootcamp in September 2012. I'm looking for work & feeling extremely positive about things. I just feel like I've been growing up and not taking action because of my state of complacement & now seeing that I can't slack, I'm finally on track to growing up.
We came to a conclusion that we're still dating, just with one another having a lot more "me" time as we feel like that'd be best case for me. She's never lived on her own, so I could definitely understand her individuality & she also stated that she wants to get used to the whole not being around me everyday thing as I'm going to be leaving. I guess I just want advice on how to approach this. Sometimes I feel she's slightly distant. Think it stems from her defense mechanism being that it's a reality that I'm going to the military. I've been known as one to say things & not execute on them & once she heard that I turned in my papers (last Tuesday) She had this "talk" with me on last Wednesday & we didn't spend Turkey Day together because she was going through a world of emotions. Ask questions and I'll provide answers & I'd love the help. Way too much to type in here.
