"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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4 dates no sex....how to handle?

scooter1017

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Would love some input on my current situation with a girl I'm talking to

Met a cute girl 2 weeks ago at my friend's party. She actually works with my roommate.

Long story short, we were making out all night and I got her number.

Met for quick dinner twice during that following week. Lots of making out, escalated to physical groping etc.

The next week, invited her to my place, date 3, where we cooked. Got her top off, suck on her tits but this chick wouldnt let me take her panties off or touch her down there....

Fast forward to tonight, same deal, chick comes over, heavy making out, playing with her tits, have her half naked...shes even grabbing my **** through my boxers...but not letting me escalate down her pants

now heres the deal. I'm done taking her out. she lives on my street so at this point, i just tell her to drive here and chill and she comes. she messages me first fairly frequently, talks about hanging out in the future and generally shows a ton of signs of high interest....

im not use to this. i have banged every single girl i ever have between the first and the 3rd date. every time in my life. every single time, if i hadn't between this time frame, i would cut her off

this girl is pretty cute and low effort though plus i got another chick on my itinerary keeping me busy.....

to play devil's advocate, it has only been 2 weeks and things are slowly escalating with every meeting.....shes 20 and im 27 so there is a lack of maturity imo

im not the kind of person who can connect with someone without sex. i guess what im asking is when is a good rule of thumb for nexting a girl in a similar situation? she invited me to her place this weekend but i dont want to keep this going forever without sex

appreciate general advice thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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pyros

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she invited you to her place? good.

Anyway, what do you wanna hear man? three dates is very little and she's 20. Hang out with her as long as you want. If you get bored after four dates stop seing her, if you like her enough keep seing her. No universal reply.

If it was me, if I just liked her body but not her personality, I would hang out with her a couple more times to see if it progresses, put do not be pushy.

If I liked her body and her personality I would 'wait' around 7-8 times if and only if we're having fun.
 

LMFAO

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Next time it gets intimate take your boxers off and put her hand on your d1ck.

If that doesn't work, back off and tell her at that moment that you want to be friends with her. Since that's exactly how you feel about her regarding chemistry:

"You're funny and intelligent, but if we don’t have the kind of chemistry with each other where we can’t keep ur hands off of each other, then maybe we really should be just friends… and that’s okay"

This gets the message loud and clear to her, and at this point she'll likely jump all over you of fear of losing you.

Don't bluff her at that moment you have to convince her you're prepared to walk away.

My guess is the sex will not be that great. But good luck.
 

Fireballs

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Only you know the full situation you are in, but personally if I thought the girl was worth it, I would give it a few more tries. But as pyros mentioned, you can't be pushy or pressure her and most of all DO NOT get angry at her. Keep trying until you've had enough and move on if you have to.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Rainman4707

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Ah Resistance get her drunk =)
 

hudpes

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Could be she's a virgin, on her period for the past week, wants to keep it slow because maybe you've come off as too speedy, or she has a deep rooted psychological problem from the past. Find out what it is, she won't cut you off for asking.
 

Octogonal

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Invite her over again and don't take her to dinner. If nothing happens next time, sex won't happen.
 

handle

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Are you enjoying your time together? If so, continue. If not, leave. It ain't rocket science.

What I actually do in these scenarios is go out on another short date and don't even bother pushing for sex. Then, the NEXT date, go for it. It throws them off a bit.



I came out of a very sexual thing a couple of years ago. Afterward I met a girl who wouldn't allow sex for about a month and a half. I didn't give a single fuk, I was actually kinda tired of sex after the last relationship. It was refreshing to not be banging 24/7 at the start. What would typical internet advice be? "She's stringing you along," "if you were alpha she'd phuck you on the first date," "time to next her." But screw that, I was enjoying it. I never pushed for sex.

Anyway, one night we have sex and it's the most mind-blowing sex I've had, ever. now we're banging constantly and it's the best I've ever had.
I'm not saying it'll turn out similar for you but just sayin'.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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