"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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3rd date with brazilian this weekend

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First two dates sucked. Just met over coffee the first time, went out to eat the 2nd time. She has some stupid curfew so we couldn't go to the movie after dinner I just dropped her off. Not even a kiss yet, so I nexted her.

But, she just emailed and invited me to get together again Saturday.

She lives 45 min away and we have met in her town both times. I need to lure her out of her town closer to mine so we can get back to my place.

How should I go about replying to her invitation for Saturday, and let her know I want her to meet me closer to my town?

She doesn't know the area, and I don't know how far she is allowed to drive she has these weird host parents. I'd like to welcome her to the USA sosuave style.

Thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BMX

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I've been talking to this chick from portugal and it turns out she lives a little over an hour away from me so I've decided not to pursue her:( In your case, if you can get her to meet you somewhere closer to your town, then tell her (when u actually meet up) you'll drive her to your place and take her back to wherever you met up later.
 
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So I'm thinking I'll reply to her "hey blah blah blah Saturday sounds good let's meet at ...........because I don't feel like driving all the way out there..." or something...or should I even mention showing her my place?

This is where I'm not sure what to say.
 

Dongfu

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Find out if she feels a little oppressed or over guarded by her U.S. parents. If so, get her in on a plot to sneak away to your place. Conspiracy is fun, and Brazillian girls are very adventurous, in bed and out.
 
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Dongfu said:
Find out if she feels a little oppressed or over guarded by her U.S. parents. If so, get her in on a plot to sneak away to your place. Conspiracy is fun, and Brazillian girls are very adventurous, in bed and out.
Yeah, she doesn't like them she told me that several times.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Dongfu

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My Name is Nobody said:
Yeah, she doesn't like them she told me that several times.
There you go. You can work together towards a common goal, getting her away for a while, long enough for you to hit it. You might get one of her GF's to cover for her.
 
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Dongfu said:
There you go. You can work together towards a common goal, getting her away for a while, long enough for you to hit it. You might get one of her GF's to cover for her.
Alright, I replied and let her know I feel like meeting somewhere else, and asked if her host parents let her get out of the area. If she says no, I'm not sure I'm accepting the date.
 

Dongfu

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It sounds like you've decided how much energy she is worth. Good enough.
 

lookyoung

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Lesson #1... When going out on a first date with a girl, and if your attracted to her than you kiss her. Be a man. I can't believe you went out on two dates with this girl and have not kissed her. You have some ground to make up and you better be aggressive with her this time.
 

MacAvoy

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You know what part of your problem is MNIN. You are one of the few guys on here, constantly going out on dates but your constantly asking for advice on silly little things, then alot of the time, the only guys who will respond to "how should I respond to her txt / email" are from guys with LESS experience than you.

Instead of learning on your own, your taking advice from guys who for all we know are just keyboard jockeys. Use your experience to your advantage and run with it.

It will give you more self confidence in the future as you do it on your own.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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lookyoung said:
Lesson #1... When going out on a first date with a girl, and if your attracted to her than you kiss her. Be a man. I can't believe you went out on two dates with this girl and have not kissed her. You have some ground to make up and you better be aggressive with her this time.

I didn't want to try the kiss on the first coffee meet. We had plans to go to a movie the 2nd date. Then at dinner she said she had some curfew and couldn't see the movie. I was annoyed she had to change the plans and took her a$$ home and dropped her off.

I'm leaning towards not going out with her again.
 
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Well I just heard back from her she said

"Yes they let me leave but they have to know where I am going.

What are you up to?"

LOL it looks like she's on to my game! I need damage control.. help me out guys
 
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MacAvoy said:
You know what part of your problem is MNIN. You are one of the few guys on here, constantly going out on dates but your constantly asking for advice on silly little things, then alot of the time, the only guys who will respond to "how should I respond to her txt / email" are from guys with LESS experience than you.

Instead of learning on your own, your taking advice from guys who for all we know are just keyboard jockeys. Use your experience to your advantage and run with it.

It will give you more self confidence in the future as you do it on your own.

Well Mac, it looks like you have a lot of experience, so what would you say to this girl who just asked me "what am I up to"?

I don't think she is inquiring about what I'm "up to". She wants to know why I am luring her out of her town! LOL I don't think honesty is the best approach here, or is it? Who knows.
 

MacAvoy

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I think Dongoron hit the nail on the head in your other thread. I think you need to do a couple of "hit & runs" so you can build up some skin and not get sucked into all the drama with these women. I think you would gain alot from doing 3-4 hit & runs.

Once you bang them, drop them, cut all contact and focuss on your next hit. There is nothing wrong with low quality/psycho women if all you are planning on doing is hitting it & not getting emotionally involved. They are ideal actually cuz they are likely easier to hit.

Secondly the advice that I'm going to offer you is stop txting / emailing these women. Your givin them too much communication, your setting yourself up to be an emotional tampon, you should only be calling to set up dates. You do the rest of your communicating on the date.
 
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MacAvoy said:
Once you bang them, drop them, cut all contact and focuss on your next hit. There is nothing wrong with low quality/psycho women if all you are planning on doing is hitting it & not getting emotionally involved. They are ideal actually cuz they are likely easier to hit.

That makes a hell of a lot of sense... After I bang them, I always try and go for a relationship. And most of the time that doesn't end well and hinders my progress. I hate to think that I must act that way to progress in this life of being a DJ but that could be the reality.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MacAvoy

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Once you get this part down patt, then you can move on to the next level (which may or may not include going the relationship road) but you have to learn how to walk before you can run. Right now your doing an awesome job crawling that you want to skip walking and start running.
 
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Alright I hate doing these play by plays but I let her know I want her to meet me close so I can show her my place.

We'll see how she responds honesty is the best policy :)
 
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