vacuum_tube
New Member
Hi all,
First time posting here after reading The Rationale Male by Rollo, although I may have to re-read it multiple, multiple times to really let the ideas and concepts really sink in. Other dating books I've read include "Models" by Mark Manson (one of my favorites), I've skimmed through "The Game" but didn't enjoy that title as much, Dating After The Red Pill, Alpha Male Strategies... would love to read many more but I haven't had the time to review and re-read and practice.
Anyway my background is I'm an Asian American guy in his early 30s. I'd say I'm still getting my career together in multiple sectors, tech/engineering, music. I'd say I had a pretty rough upbringing because I was raised by an effeminate, sometimes negligent father (he was separated from his father at a young age) that didn't teach me much about how to attract women - I learned through a lot of mistakes and teaching myself through books and YouTube videos. Rejected by quite a few ladies (although I did the same too) in my younger days because I was a goofball "dancing monkey" or the "platonic friend" . I had some brownie points too because I was a musician, sometimes funny, athletic enough. I would say I exhibited the typical Beta behavior, or even lower in the social hierarchy. Also experienced a gamut of traumas from a mentally ill family member that made me feel even more of an outsider more than I already was.
Once I broke up from my first long term relationship (4-5 years), I started reading as much as I could on dating, learning about what women really want out of a guy. I read as much about Alpha types as I could but I knew I couldn't really ever become a natural at it since I'm introverted. If anything, I think I am a turbulent Sigma male still getting the hang of it. Think of a "lone wolf" kind of guy who does a lot of things on his own with a very small number of close friends.
A lot of things happened in the past few years where I made some very public missteps and went through the court system. It's a long story. Anyway I started realizing people were writing about me, much, much later after the fact. It took me years to realize it could have been about me -- I didn't want to sound too conceited or self absorbed.
There have been a few women that have indicated romantic interest in me because of who I am. I'd say the one person that really stood out from the crowd was a lady that wrote about me the most and said she wanted to marry me and have children. It has been mostly good, pretty smooth sailing in terms of call and response (I think); I'm still replying in writing, in still to be recorded songs, but there has also been some disrespect too because my eyes kept wandering to so call "keep the options open" (competition anxiety).
I came from a pretty non-religious to agnostic (though my family practices Eastern religion) and came upon Christianity when things were getting rough. I know there is such thing as a "red pilled Christian". But even then sometimes I just don't know because I get judged for my past and my slip ups (among them are pornography, even though I have made efforts to recover from it).
I really don't know how to explain it, but I was getting a lot of signs from... a higher power that this woman is really "the one", similar interests, values may slightly differ, (we're almost the same height) even though I am initially skeptical about the concept of soul mates, karmic partners, etc. The process of selection has scorned the heart of another woman I showed interest towards and I hate to just ignore her pain (she may even begin to hate me) -- I've never actually met them before but we all interact with each other on social media these days.
How does one reconcile the red pill theory of not having "oneitis", submitting yourself to marriage to let the power of the state have you on your knees, versus really growing an intimate connection with someone that actually cares about you and could spend your life with?
I have one good friend that is red pill aware who IS married with one young child and have shared my thoughts with him. And he's been very happy and thriving with his own wife and lives overseas. And we talked about respecting her feelings as well, recognizing and respecting her own limitations (such as her biological clock).
Seems like as a lot of RP men get older and start to increase their intrinsic and extrinsic value they prefer to be single and date around, something that women are able to experience when they're much younger.
I also want to point back to the fact that I do remember what it's like to be alone, unwanted, undesired, and just a mess. But this woman has cared for me and wrote kind words about me, made efforts to learn about who I was while I was in my mess. Obviously it's not something I want to discard or let go of.
But it also comes back to being independent, being able to walk away, being able to be fine on your own too, but choosing to be with her if she's right for you. I don't want to mess this up.
Also, I'm broke af right now too, but apparently people see potential in me.
I think some feedback would be useful to gain some wisdom from some guys in this community far more experienced and wiser than me.
I want to make the right decision, and I don't want to just rush into things blindly. In fact, it may even be a red flag to fall too deeply for anyone too quickly and too soon.
What do you think?
First time posting here after reading The Rationale Male by Rollo, although I may have to re-read it multiple, multiple times to really let the ideas and concepts really sink in. Other dating books I've read include "Models" by Mark Manson (one of my favorites), I've skimmed through "The Game" but didn't enjoy that title as much, Dating After The Red Pill, Alpha Male Strategies... would love to read many more but I haven't had the time to review and re-read and practice.
Anyway my background is I'm an Asian American guy in his early 30s. I'd say I'm still getting my career together in multiple sectors, tech/engineering, music. I'd say I had a pretty rough upbringing because I was raised by an effeminate, sometimes negligent father (he was separated from his father at a young age) that didn't teach me much about how to attract women - I learned through a lot of mistakes and teaching myself through books and YouTube videos. Rejected by quite a few ladies (although I did the same too) in my younger days because I was a goofball "dancing monkey" or the "platonic friend" . I had some brownie points too because I was a musician, sometimes funny, athletic enough. I would say I exhibited the typical Beta behavior, or even lower in the social hierarchy. Also experienced a gamut of traumas from a mentally ill family member that made me feel even more of an outsider more than I already was.
Once I broke up from my first long term relationship (4-5 years), I started reading as much as I could on dating, learning about what women really want out of a guy. I read as much about Alpha types as I could but I knew I couldn't really ever become a natural at it since I'm introverted. If anything, I think I am a turbulent Sigma male still getting the hang of it. Think of a "lone wolf" kind of guy who does a lot of things on his own with a very small number of close friends.
A lot of things happened in the past few years where I made some very public missteps and went through the court system. It's a long story. Anyway I started realizing people were writing about me, much, much later after the fact. It took me years to realize it could have been about me -- I didn't want to sound too conceited or self absorbed.
There have been a few women that have indicated romantic interest in me because of who I am. I'd say the one person that really stood out from the crowd was a lady that wrote about me the most and said she wanted to marry me and have children. It has been mostly good, pretty smooth sailing in terms of call and response (I think); I'm still replying in writing, in still to be recorded songs, but there has also been some disrespect too because my eyes kept wandering to so call "keep the options open" (competition anxiety).
I came from a pretty non-religious to agnostic (though my family practices Eastern religion) and came upon Christianity when things were getting rough. I know there is such thing as a "red pilled Christian". But even then sometimes I just don't know because I get judged for my past and my slip ups (among them are pornography, even though I have made efforts to recover from it).
I really don't know how to explain it, but I was getting a lot of signs from... a higher power that this woman is really "the one", similar interests, values may slightly differ, (we're almost the same height) even though I am initially skeptical about the concept of soul mates, karmic partners, etc. The process of selection has scorned the heart of another woman I showed interest towards and I hate to just ignore her pain (she may even begin to hate me) -- I've never actually met them before but we all interact with each other on social media these days.
How does one reconcile the red pill theory of not having "oneitis", submitting yourself to marriage to let the power of the state have you on your knees, versus really growing an intimate connection with someone that actually cares about you and could spend your life with?
I have one good friend that is red pill aware who IS married with one young child and have shared my thoughts with him. And he's been very happy and thriving with his own wife and lives overseas. And we talked about respecting her feelings as well, recognizing and respecting her own limitations (such as her biological clock).
Seems like as a lot of RP men get older and start to increase their intrinsic and extrinsic value they prefer to be single and date around, something that women are able to experience when they're much younger.
I also want to point back to the fact that I do remember what it's like to be alone, unwanted, undesired, and just a mess. But this woman has cared for me and wrote kind words about me, made efforts to learn about who I was while I was in my mess. Obviously it's not something I want to discard or let go of.
But it also comes back to being independent, being able to walk away, being able to be fine on your own too, but choosing to be with her if she's right for you. I don't want to mess this up.
Also, I'm broke af right now too, but apparently people see potential in me.
I think some feedback would be useful to gain some wisdom from some guys in this community far more experienced and wiser than me.
I want to make the right decision, and I don't want to just rush into things blindly. In fact, it may even be a red flag to fall too deeply for anyone too quickly and too soon.
What do you think?
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