Originally posted by chancer357
I remember all the times I've gone to bars and sat there alone because I couldn't talk with anyone.
Most guys I know feel really out of place when they go to a bar alone, that's why they seldom go to a bar alone. I go to bars alone and talk to women. It is very tough. Most people arrive as part of a group. That's why they seem to have such an easy time around one another. Going to a bar alone is tough unless you are very outgoing or have some amazing people skills.
I remember all the times I was left out of everything or made fun of when I was younger in school.
Yeah, this part unfortunately sucks. When you're young, people can walk all over you and show no remorse and suffer no consequences aside from maybe detention if the teachers catch them. As adults, we have to be more careful about when and how we walk all over someone else. The rules have changed a lot to favor people who conform and play by the rules. Of course, still, a lot of stuff happens that just isn't fair, but if you let this hold you back, you're really just taking yourself out of the game and elminating the possibility for you to have fun and meet people.
I remember the one time I did try to ask a girl out and she just laughed at me out loud.
I know someone who is very succesful at almost everything he does, has about a 7.something score on hotornot, and people describe him as "normal, regular guy." About 90% of the time, this is how girls respond to his advances. I'm not sure if PUAs have it much better, but this seems typical of how regular women respond to regular guys when either they're nervous or not interested.
I remember the one time someone tried to set me up on a blind date and the other person would not even look at me or speak to me.
This happened to me when I was 17. I told my friend that I was having an awful time and couldn't stay any longer. I told the girl it was nice meeting her and that I had things to do. She started apologizing and I walked off... and ended up hanging out with some other girls I knew. Doesn't alway end this way, but yeah, this sh-t happens.
I think of all the times I've tried to do something else but and just overcome with feelings of hopelessness. So I'll end up feeling like I failed to change again. I think that I can't even do basic things like meeting people when I see people all around me who can.
Don't look at people around you. You don't know how they know the other people they're talking to. Never compare yourself to "everyone else," cuz you don't know everyone else. You know YOU. Try doing what you want to do and talking to people when you want to talk to them. Don't expect it to be easy, because it's not, but it's the only hope you have.
Mostly I think of all times I went outside somewhere and thought maybe today something will be different and I'll talk to someone, or maybe I'll smile and it doesn't happen.
Yeah, that sucks and it happens a lot. You have to start somewhere. You have to start somewhere. If you're depressed out of your mind and on ten zillion medications that are zonking the sh-t out of you, then it may never happen. But if you have anything left of you, you can start turning your life around. DO NOT EXPECT SUDDEN IMPROVEMENTS. Do you think everyone's gonna all of a sudden fall in love with you? You? Who the hell are you? Nobody knows who the hell you are. You've never hung out with anybody before. For all you know, people could think you're arrogant or that you think you're better than them. Showing them otherwise and developing friendships is going to take time. Trying to meet women and get them back to your place for some action is probably going to take a LOT of trial and error, to the point where you will become frustrated, your feelings will get hurt, you will have all kinds of nasty thoughts, but you will have to persevere. You can't sit there in front of your computer looking for the answer. The internet is FLY PAPER for people like you. It just sucks you in and before you know it, you're fifty-something and you've never touched a girl, hiked the grand canyon, or learned how to play the oboe like you've always wanted to.
If I was suddenly in control of you and I had to choose between having you spend the rest of your life on here, or having you spend the rest of your life away from a computer, never to see sosuave again, I'd choose the latter. Seriously, there is a ton of good advice on here, great advice, but none of it will apply to you if you avoid people and remain depressed. You can change but it will be ridiculously hard. Who cares if people ridicule you? I know you never get used to it but I challenge you to not let it stop you. Please, for your sake, take risks. Take social risks. Sh-t, I noticed it's geting late and I should be out, flirting with chicks at the bar.
