25 Year-Old Virgin, Getting High to Cope...I Need SERIOUS HELP

[robby1983b]

The closest I ever got to sex was 4 years ago. Was with a drunk chick but she was ugly and I couldn’t get hard. Since then I have not even kissed or touched a girl. It’s not that I can’t attract girls. They hit on me and flirt with me at least 2-3 times per week. So don’t tell me to just be happy with myself to get girls. I often dress down to avoid the attention. I live in a very small town, and the last time I asked a girl out, I ran into her nearly 50 times after that. So I’m deathly afraid (and no longer even consider) showing interest in girls. It’s the same people every ****ing where.

I don’t have friends but I don’t want any. I’m not happy but I’m not depressed either. On the outside it would seem I have a great life. I drive a nice car, I’m self-employed and make good money. Most girls probably think I’m taken.

I’m still in school, but I hate it. Always hated school, but I go just to get a degree to make my parents happy. They are concerned because I don’t have medical insurance, but also because I would shame the family name by dropping out. I’ve already been offered full-time positions despite my 2.3 GPA and many failing grades. I have skills. Companies recognize my value. But I hate to become a corporate slave and live the same “school, job, marriage, retire, death” path like everyone else. I’m very ambitious, goal-oriented, and following my own path to success with my big ideas.

This past 1.5 weeks I’ve skipped my classes for a few reasons. There is a girl in one of my classes who stares at me and it makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve skipped that class because of her. I also skipped my other classes altogether due to slipping grades. Instead I’ve been getting high on DXM, and just working overtime.

I used to be addicted to DXM a few years ago but finally broke free. Since then I had paranoia and felt like my anxiety got worse, but actually my anxiety was always the same through my whole life. Lately DXM helped me break free of anxiety, even after the buzz had worn off. I felt open, social, comfortable, etc. It’s also made me more creative and enlightened. But it seems to wear off after a few days and I don't want to go to class high and make a complete fool of myself.

Honestly, the core reason I did it was because of my discomfort around girls. Everytime I go out and see couples it’s a reminder of the huge void in my life. I miss touching them and kissing them, and it pains me so much more especially since I know some of these girls are attracted to me, but I’m never going to do anything about it. I've gotten so insecure. It’s so within reach, but so far. For the longest time I’ve kept thinking I can still get laid the normal way by just getting drunk again and going to pick up some girls. I went to bars/clubs but in every situation I seem to eject myself. I’ve creepified myself by not being social or dating for so long, not to mention I’ve been a virgin all along anyway.

So today I've finally decided I’ll make arrangements with an escort next week, and every week thereafter until I get rid of this stigma. I feel like that is the only viable solution to get myself comfortable again around women. Otherwise I will always feel incomplete. I may still feel incomplete, but at least I will have something. But even this I'm worried about - if I got caught in this small-ass town, I would scar my reputation and my family's reputation for life. I don't even really need to have sex, I just need to get a massage and feel the intimate touch of a woman to get that comfort. Is that illegal to get an actual massage?

Am I completely hopeless? I am confident that I am working my way towards greatness but at the same time I feel like if I let petty **** like being a virgin get to me, and keep getting high because of it, I’ll soon lead myself to the path of losers. I feel so bad that I'm 25 and I've missed out on the pleasures of life, normal pleasures. I mean it shouldn't be this hard honestly.

Any thoughts?

 

[MisterMcGee]

I'm 19. I didn't have a girlfriend throughout highschool. I chose to be single throughout HS cause I wasn't interested in the drama and so forth. But I had my first kiss-on-the-lips pretty late in my life as a result. And yeah, I'm still a virgin, but it's not a big deal for people my age.
There's a first time for everything. Yeah, you're late, but you know it so stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living and being proud of yourself.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

It is hard to understand your story because if women are attracted to you as you say they are, and you are confident that women like you, then why wouldn't you try to connect with them? Just ask the order with them and let the chips fall where they may.

If you go with an escort, or massage parlour, that does not change the fact that they are also women and people, who you would have to deal with like everyone else anyway. There are no robot escorts or massage parlours.

 

[loving]

The closest I ever got to sex was 4 years ago. Was with a drunk chick but she was ugly and I couldn’t get hard. Since then I have not even kissed or touched a girl. It’s not that I can’t attract girls. They hit on me and flirt with me at least 2-3 times per week. So don’t tell me to just be happy with myself to get girls. I often dress down to avoid the attention. I live in a very small town, and the last time I asked a girl out, I ran into her nearly 50 times after that. So I’m deathly afraid (and no longer even consider) showing interest in girls. It’s the same people every ****ing where.

I don’t have friends but I don’t want any. I’m not happy but I’m not depressed either. On the outside it would seem I have a great life. I drive a nice car, I’m self-employed and make good money. Most girls probably think I’m taken.

I’m still in school, but I hate it. Always hated school, but I go just to get a degree to make my parents happy. They are concerned because I don’t have medical insurance, but also because I would shame the family name by dropping out. I’ve already been offered full-time positions despite my 2.3 GPA and many failing grades. I have skills. Companies recognize my value. But I hate to become a corporate slave and live the same “school, job, marriage, retire, death” path like everyone else. I’m very ambitious, goal-oriented, and following my own path to success with my big ideas.

This past 1.5 weeks I’ve skipped my classes for a few reasons. There is a girl in one of my classes who stares at me and it makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve skipped that class because of her. I also skipped my other classes altogether due to slipping grades. Instead I’ve been getting high on DXM, and just working overtime.

I used to be addicted to DXM a few years ago but finally broke free. Since then I had paranoia and felt like my anxiety got worse, but actually my anxiety was always the same through my whole life. Lately DXM helped me break free of anxiety, even after the buzz had worn off. I felt open, social, comfortable, etc. It’s also made me more creative and enlightened. But it seems to wear off after a few days and I don't want to go to class high and make a complete fool of myself.

Honestly, the core reason I did it was because of my discomfort around girls. Everytime I go out and see couples it’s a reminder of the huge void in my life. I miss touching them and kissing them, and it pains me so much more especially since I know some of these girls are attracted to me, but I’m never going to do anything about it. I've gotten so insecure. It’s so within reach, but so far. For the longest time I’ve kept thinking I can still get laid the normal way by just getting drunk again and going to pick up some girls. I went to bars/clubs but in every situation I seem to eject myself. I’ve creepified myself by not being social or dating for so long, not to mention I’ve been a virgin all along anyway.

So today I've finally decided I’ll make arrangements with an escort next week, and every week thereafter until I get rid of this stigma. I feel like that is the only viable solution to get myself comfortable again around women. Otherwise I will always feel incomplete. I may still feel incomplete, but at least I will have something. But even this I'm worried about - if I got caught in this small-ass town, I would scar my reputation and my family's reputation for life. I don't even really need to have sex, I just need to get a massage and feel the intimate touch of a woman to get that comfort. Is that illegal to get an actual massage?

Am I completely hopeless? I am confident that I am working my way towards greatness but at the same time I feel like if I let petty **** like being a virgin get to me, and keep getting high because of it, I’ll soon lead myself to the path of losers. I feel so bad that I'm 25 and I've missed out on the pleasures of life, normal pleasures. I mean it shouldn't be this hard honestly.

Any thoughts?

You're halfway there by acknowledging your problems. Let me tell you straight up before I get into it that you have to be willing to take action on the advice provided or you will end up like CapedCrusader08 who only thinks about his problems and is infinitely lost in thought and does not take action. You do not want to be that guy, but it is your choice.

Anyway, I agree with your take on corporate world and take that view into school. I maintain a 4.0 gpa because all school does is ask you to spit back info. Any monkey can spit their info but people like you are too damn frustrated with other **** to concentrate and realize its not that hard. Getting your grades up is going to be a result of clearing your mind.

I will jump from point to point here and not bull**** around. You are not enlightened. You are suffering. Enlightenment is the end of suffering. If you still have psychological problems, you are not enlightened. This belief is false and brought on by enhanced feelings that come with a natural state of enlightenment. That being said, all of us on your path thought that sometime. To foreshadow your thought train or confirm your past thoughts, yes, you are god. Each one of us is god. God is not a man or a women but is every man or woman. Do not use the word god if it seems like a bad thing to you. you can use energy instead, or any other religion's word. Every religion teaches about life and so to put them against eachother is to show true misunderstanding of their teachings.

You can be anyone you want to be. The girls in your town have full control of you now. Look at what you said. This is what you said: you are afraid of what might happen after you **** up with girls. I see two very bad beliefs you have here. You assume you're going to **** up and leave every relationship at a point where there gonna hate you. Life is innately good. Everything is going to be okay. So lets say you **** up and do some really stupid **** because your so ****ed up on drugs you lost every single scrap of judgement and push her down the stairs call her a no good cheating ***** and say you never wanna see her again. Next time you walk down the street itll be awkward if you have no control of your feelings, and youll pass and go on with your day.

But you said you do feel good about yourself, so you do have control of your feelings. But other people still influence you? You do not have control of your feelings. You are starting to get control of your feelings. Do not confuse the two. You must understand your feelings are with you constantly throughout the day. If you are not in control of them, something else is. When you see these girls and they trip you out, you are letting them control you.

A lot of philosophy huh? Thats the tip, anyway there is now some practical advice that, added to the above and the other good replies you will receive, will ensure your success. You must first take steps to remove their control over you. This comes ultimately with the realization that life is yours to lead and no one can influence you. This seems backwards, doesn't it? It isn't. Try to understand what it means that your life is completely up to you. That means at any moment you can feel 5x as goodas you were before of 100x.

How good you feel + how good you look are two things that get you lots of attention from girls. By genuinely being someone who can make himself feel good you become able to make other people feel good through yourself, You are the one with value because it is your life, and it is your fun to make. Girls will naturally be acceptant of your sexuality and fun because thats what they are by nature.

Because you come from a small town you may have adopted a scarcity mindset, that is that there are only x girls, a limited amount, so they are more valuable. NO. That is scarcity. We must think in abundance. Let me shoe you: You are alive now. Clearly the limitation of girls has not had an affect on your survival. Now, your happiness. That comes from within and if you are seeking happiness from women you will not get far with them at all unless you just memorize successful people's lines and spit them out. Now, your sexual fulfillment, you can always jack off at the end of the day. The good thing about our penises is that they are indifferent to what is stimulating them, only our mind makes that connection.

You have so many options, why let these things limit you?

When you see this interest, it is your job to act on it. Either act, or forget about it. If it is a bad feeling ignore it and go onto something good. Feel attracted to her? Go. Or don't think about it. If you continue to think about wanting to do something after choosing not to you are suffering.

This often results in over-thinking, which you are clearly doing. You say they probably think you are taken, that is the weirdest thing I have heard today. How do you know? Did every single girl you didn't talk to tell you that? You're assuming, and what a useless assumption, why not think they assume they want you so badly? Surely one is more useful than the other. The opposite to over thinking, which eliminates unnecessary thought, is called acceptance. Accept that you will not go and live happily or accept that you wil go and live happily. One brings a whole another human's feelings to you that can double yours or more, the other leaves you to yours, which aren't that bad anyway. Either way the options are good so you just gotta accept your choice.

 

[loving]

To continue from "I see two very bad beliefs you have here." The second is simply you assume you will fail in some way.

What can I say about dosing... You take cough syrup man? That stuff is just nasty to taste and the idea of taking the stuff I clearly remember hating when I was a kid, to escape from my reality as an adult? Not a good idea.

You go to college, maybe smoke some weed. I see the people who go to clubs and get drunk off their ass but turn around and bash people for doing other **** like marijuana, when it is all substance abuse for modified state.

Sometimes drugs do help, which is why people drink - a socially acceptable drug is something almost everyone you see on the street has in common. This is very important on the subject of drug use: if you cannot control yourself enough while sober to consciously alter your state then using artificial means to boost yourself to a point where state manipulation is easy, is very good practice for use while sober. There are, however, hindrances to drugs which you must weigh accordingly. If your cough syrup is causing something in you that is making you not wanna go to class or a drop in anything really you need to address that and find a way asap to modify your state while sober. Personally I smoke weed socially and spiritually for increased states while sober. I am reaching a plateau, however, where what I can achieve sober is becoming unlimited, and when this happens, and you can do it naturally, drugs are no longer even necessary.

Keep on the path you are on, and apply the change that is necessary. It is not until you take the action and initiative to change that it will happen.

Good luck and one love

 

[Bible_Belt]

maybe smoke some weed


I was just thinking the same thing.

 

[Asteconn]

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't lose my V plates until 20

 

[daygameguy]

many people on this site are late bloomers or virgins. so don't feel left out. what truly matters is you improve yourself, your looks, game, career, social circle, and basically TRY instead of giving up.

 

[vagrant]

You can't start until you know exactly what you want. You have to ask yourself. Do you want a girlfriend that you will someday marry or you just want to sleep around and enjoy life? Have sex with girls whenever you get the chance? You really have to know where you want to go before you can start.

Once you know where you want to go come back and then we'll help you out.

 

[cky]

Well, I was having the same struggle like most of us have had, the "I wanna get laid but how the fvck?" thing. My first time was with this chick we just messed around, didn't get to sex immediately, just slept together in underwear constantly during the summer, skinny dipping in the beach, touching here and there, handjobs and all that stuff, no need to elaborate. After that it just sorta "got to me", like a gift you could use, I could just make girls have sex with me. The nervousness of approach and escalating to sex didn't feel so weird anymore and it just happened every time. The chick we were just messing around with put out in late June, by the end of August, after having lost my virginity, I did 5 other chicks. Plus, 2 of them said I'd been one of the best lays so far and the first one didn't even realize I was a virgin. Now we're not talking 4s here, all of them have been HB7+

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if you really don't care how it's gonna happen, drink a bit but not too much, find someone to game and trust me, it will just flow, all girls and women want it, you just need to make it happen and not think about what she MIGHT, but never WILL say. And even if she should, so what? You can just be cool about it.

"Just do it" - Nike.