Hooligan Harry
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2008
- Messages
- 498
- Reaction score
- 45
You need a successful relationship or two before you start handing out advice
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
A successful relationship ! That is infinitely more likely to happen to me than to you. Have you ever considered enroling in anger management class to acquire better control of your emotions?Hooligan Harry said:You need a successful relationship or two before you start handing out advice
Yes, but you better hurry. I have a lot more time than you do and wont be making many of the same mistakes you did. You need to get over this bull**** that someone younger cannot provide some perspective because of their age. Its a cop out used to protect your own ego. If you are not still on the path of self discovery why are you still here? Altruistic motivations alone? Maybe we could petition the mods to start a forum for the middle aged only.jophil28 said:A successful relationship ! That is infinitely more likely to happen to me than to you. Have you ever considered enroling in anger management class to acquire better control of your emotions?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I agree with Jophil on this, as this has been demonstrated to have real predictive ability. However, I also think societal factors influence women more these days than ever before.jophil28 said:10. Ultimately she will treat YOU like her mother treated her Dad.Take a peek though that window BEFORE you rent that tux.
Let me clarifyColossus said:I think that marrying only "for love" is foolish and short-sighted. Growing up in the Christian midwest this crap was shoved down my throat at every turn, but when I used a few brain cells and looked at it critically I found it was misleading rubbish. Marriage should absolutely be a rational decision. I'm not saying feelings shouldn't factor in at all---of course they should---but they should not be what governs your choice of who you marry. You might really love her now, but in 10 years 2 degrees of difference in the course of two ships can leave them leagues away from each other.
Hooligan Harry said:You need a successful relationship or two before you start handing out advice
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I have already gone over this. You gain a longer life. Married elder men live much, much longer than single ones. These are proven studies. Solitude in later life is harmful to a man. A companion who takes care of you is vital in your later years. She bears children that are going to be healthier in a two parent home. Infidelity and STD's are reduced if you have a woman who takes care of your needs. You also eat well if she can cook. You stay away from trouble. There are scientific studies to the benefits of marriage. You just got to find the right girl.muscleman said:Someone humor me and tell me what a man gains in today's terms by marrying which he can't gain without?
Besides this of course:
-she gets your last name
-she gets half your stuff or more (prenups wont save you, what a joke)
-you spend a ridiculous amount on a party that means nothing
It's not like you can't have a house or raise kids or any of that outside of marriage ... it's mind boggling. I'm not getting married til the laws change, if ever.
It is much better for children to be raised under one household with a father and a mother.muscleman said:Someone humor me and tell me what a man gains in today's terms by marrying which he can't gain without?
Besides this of course:
-she gets your last name
-she gets half your stuff or more (prenups wont save you, what a joke)
-you spend a ridiculous amount on a party that means nothing
It's not like you can't have a house or raise kids or any of that outside of marriage ... it's mind boggling. I'm not getting married til the laws change, if ever.
As the number of he-rockets ravaging her she-pocket increases, her ability to bond with a man is accordingly decreased.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.