21st Century Opening Lines - Closers wanted.

[logicallefty]

Fellas,

So what does every woman have today other than a \|/? And ( . )( . ) ?


A phone!!

Men why aren't we using this to our advantage? If we are I haven't seen it discussed here on SS.

Many guys have trouble with opening lines. I used to up until really just a few years ago. It's easier than ever today! Use their phones!

Here are some openers I came up with.

I haven't made list of closers yet. Throw them out here if you have em'.

OPENERS:

"I heard that the Guinness Book of World Records is looking for the person most addicted to their phone. You have my vote"

"You may want to detach from that phone. When you get a new one that one there may try to get alimony from ya"

"Hey you ever put that thing down? The Internet just called told me to tell you to save some for the rest of us"

"I just saw smoke coming out of that thing. You are on it too much. Want me to call the fire dept.?"

"You should check with a doctor about surgery to get that thing unstuck from your hands"

"Al Gore just called as the inventor of the Internet. He wanted me to let you know that you have used too much Internet today"

"Facebook just put out a message saying their servers are slow as a result of one user in (your town). I didn't believe that was possible until I saw you today"

"Didn't you hear all of the cell towers are going down for maintenance in a few minutes and will be down. But us real humans will be here to talk to if you are bored"

 

[Between_The_Lines]

"Do you know how to communicate like a human being or do you want to text each other right here, right now, face to face?"

 

[EveryPostHere]

How about "B**ch get off that phone when I'm around. I'm a real man not one of those white knight motherfvckers on your Facebook" I bet she'd rip her clothes off right then and say "let's fvck." That shows confidence and that you've got balls of steel.

 

[Skyline]

Interesting. Wonder why I never thought about this...

I just thought about bringing up Candy Crush Saga, as an opener, and requesting her adding me because I ran out of lives and invites... The phone would be a good opener...

 

[bootypirate250]

How about "B**ch get off that phone when I'm around. I'm a real man not one of those white knight motherfvckers on your Facebook" I bet she'd rip her clothes off right then and say "let's fvck." That shows confidence and that you've got balls of steel.

U actually gonna call her ***** in your opener? tisk tisk

 

[EveryPostHere]

U actually gonna call her ***** in your opener? tisk tisk

Hey, you have to do something to show you're the alpha.

 

[logicallefty]

"Do you know how to communicate like a human being or do you want to text each other right here, right now, face to face?"

I would call that an opener and a closer in one. Nice.

 

[Loki.7]

"hello" [insert normal non lame human interaction here], " I would like to hang out with you some time, what's your phone number".

 

[Mike s kentucky]

Fellas,

So what does every woman have today other than a \|/? And ( . )( . ) ?


A phone!!

Men why aren't we using this to our advantage? If we are I haven't seen it discussed here on SS.

Many guys have trouble with opening lines. I used to up until really just a few years ago. It's easier than ever today! Use their phones!

Here are some openers I came up with.

I haven't made list of closers yet. Throw them out here if you have em'.

OPENERS:

"I heard that the Guinness Book of World Records is looking for the person most addicted to their phone. You have my vote"

"You may want to detach from that phone. When you get a new one that one there may try to get alimony from ya"

"Hey you ever put that thing down? The Internet just called told me to tell you to save some for the rest of us"

"I just saw smoke coming out of that thing. You are on it too much. Want me to call the fire dept.?"

"You should check with a doctor about surgery to get that thing unstuck from your hands"

"Al Gore just called as the inventor of the Internet. He wanted me to let you know that you have used too much Internet today"

"Facebook just put out a message saying their servers are slow as a result of one user in (your town). I didn't believe that was possible until I saw you today"

"Didn't you hear all of the cell towers are going down for maintenance in a few minutes and will be down. But us real humans will be here to talk to if you are bored"

Lame lame lame and not funny. Is that the best you can do?

 

[logicallefty]

Lame lame lame and not funny. Is that the best you can do?

:flowers:

 

[dk1990S111]

i think they are pretty funny, gunna have to give a few of them a try lol

 

[MrWood]

do girls even go for contrived and obvious lines?

I guess they will, because you will buy them a drink, they get validated and you go home to jack-off alone

 

[Bingo-Player]

Fellas,

So what does every woman have today other than a \|/? And ( . )( . ) ?


A phone!!

Men why aren't we using this to our advantage? If we are I haven't seen it discussed here on SS.

Many guys have trouble with opening lines. I used to up until really just a few years ago. It's easier than ever today! Use their phones!

Here are some openers I came up with.

I haven't made list of closers yet. Throw them out here if you have em'.

OPENERS:

"I heard that the Guinness Book of World Records is looking for the person most addicted to their phone. You have my vote"

"You may want to detach from that phone. When you get a new one that one there may try to get alimony from ya"

"Hey you ever put that thing down? The Internet just called told me to tell you to save some for the rest of us"

"I just saw smoke coming out of that thing. You are on it too much. Want me to call the fire dept.?"

"You should check with a doctor about surgery to get that thing unstuck from your hands"

"Al Gore just called as the inventor of the Internet. He wanted me to let you know that you have used too much Internet today"

"Facebook just put out a message saying their servers are slow as a result of one user in (your town). I didn't believe that was possible until I saw you today"

"Didn't you hear all of the cell towers are going down for maintenance in a few minutes and will be down. But us real humans will be here to talk to if you are bored"

I know im at risk of sounding too negative here

but are we really still attempting to use canned and prop openers on women in 2016 ?

I think 10 - 15 years ago you may just have got away with it but in 2016 chicks are suave themselves they aint stupid saying something like

"Al Gore just called as the inventor of the Internet. He wanted me to let you know that you have used too much Internet today"

reapeat it to yourself it sounds forced combined with most women wont know who the fvck al gore is anyway.

you don't need to over think with women or overwork with them ......you do that and your at risk of coming across as a chump

look for women where there is already underlying attraction that can be built on , in this scenario you will need to be nothing more than yourself which is easier than trying to be something your not.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you walking and texting? That's dangerous! You're going to hurt somebody.

 

[bigneil]

Lines only work if you wrote them, otherwise there is a chance they heard it before.

 

[logicallefty]

Lines only work if you wrote them, otherwise there is a chance they heard it before.

Great point. I made up the ones in my OP but if they are applicable to a scenario you are in I hope you guys can use them.

 

[Dingo]

I'm so old "What's you sign ?" worked.....

 

[bigneil]

There is also the pride factor. My best friend and I figured out in the fifth grade that we couldn't rehearse cool responses to things or it would seem contrived, at least to each other.

But for the lines (or better, short routines) you come up with, definitely rehearse them and go for it. It's good acting experience.

 

[MrWood]

ACTING like a DJ is not BEING a DJ

 

[marmel75]

Hello is the only opener you ever need.