"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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21 year old needs some help :(

Bagofnuts

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alright guys... here goes..
I met this girl at a birthday party and we hit it off pretty well.

After that i met her at least 2- 3 times a week for 5 - 6 weeks
we texted alot and things were progressing really well.
Up to the point where we made out and i was really serious about getting into a relationship with her.

I then proceeded to ask her what i meant to her because she clearly likes me but cant forget her ex , Who left her hanging when he went overseas to study. they are still keeping in contact.

I asked her to choose between me or him and she said she would rather choose him and stay as how they are now, rather than asking him if he still wants to be romantically involved with her and make a decision. She told me she cant let go of him because of what they went through together and all that ****load of crap.

She also gave me 2 choices. 1 being, we stay friends. 2nd option is me walking away. She gets very agitated when i tell her i want to walk away and all. So i decided to tell her we can stay as friends. its been 3 days now and its my 2nd day of no contact.

Should i just forget about her.

Oh, and whenever i asked her whether i was just a substitute, she told me she could have asked any guy if she needed one. why would she always ask me instead.

sigh. i always get problems like this when i actually care about the girl
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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GS750

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So...she wants to have him and keep you around as an orbiter just in case? Because she knows you like her and want to be with her, so she's perfectly happy stringing you along. Selfish, immature, and typical. Walk away. See if she initiates contact with you after a while of ignoring her.
 

Bagofnuts

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GS750 said:
So...she wants to have him and keep you around as an orbiter just in case? Because she knows you like her and want to be with her, so she's perfectly happy stringing you along. Selfish, immature, and typical. Walk away. See if she initiates contact with you after a while of ignoring her.
make sense.. :/
what do i do if she happens to initiate contact after a while.
thing is shes starting to block me out of her life if im not wrong.
 

Cremasta

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Bagofnuts said:
I then proceeded to ask her what i meant to her
You were going really well, up until here.
Always wait until the girl initiates those 'where are we going?' conversations. Until then, your job is to be as much fun, and make her as horny, as possible.

If she blocks you out of her life, then just take it on the chin and move on.

If she does contact you, be polite but non-committal. She's basically said she would rather pine after her ex who is overseas than appreciate a guy who is right in front of her and interested. She really needs to re-qualify her value to you.

Oh yeah, don't change your mind on something just because she gets 'very agitated', she hasn't earned that privilege yet.

Good luck.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sloweburna707

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You got Friend Zoned, my advice at this point is stick around if she has friends she can set you up with since that ain't happening with you and her now. Or Ignore her and move on, your just an option at this point bro.
 

Bagofnuts

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Thanks for sharing your advice / opinions with me. I really really needed them.

What if she asks me to hang out with her , do i say im busy? Or just go and play it cool
 

GS750

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Say your busy, be a little elusive. And let her see you with another girl.
 

Bagofnuts

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Quick update :/
She texted a me if i had to be in the army camp on wednesday, i just gave a polite reply " yeah its the 2nd day"
Her reply " so its today and tomoro"
My reply " yup "
Her reply " kkay."

She started again " is your leg okay?"
Me " it does, its getting better."
Her " dont be dismayed over the qualifying thingy im sure you can get Into the next one"
But whats important is still the condition of your leg, don't be an idiot and force yourself to touch the sky
Even superman has difficulty doing it
( she checked out my tweets )

How should i approach/reply this?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bagofnuts

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She keeps tryna continue the conversation

Is there anyway to make her long for me instead/ regretting her decision
 

oscarxp25

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Walk away. You are a young 21 year old guy. There are plenty of woman out there. It is dumb to stick to just one.
 

donking

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should have f uck ed by date 3. unless virgin, then 4.
 

VladPatton

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Walk away. Tell her to call you when she is over the other guy. Express you'll be seeing other girls till then, which in fact, you should. Promise nothing. She's just looking for someone to give her attention an to get ego boosts off of. In turn you'll have the privilege of walking with her down the street while you lend her money to buy condoms so another guy can bang her.

If she can't be your girl, your time with her is over. There are way too many girls in this world that would like a bf. Once you embrace this mentality girls will be easier to let go of. Stop communication with her, it will get you nowhere, she made this clear.
 

Bagofnuts

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Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. Sigh... I wish things would be different stupid girl stalking my twitter and all

Any idea why she wrote , you are a real idiot. On twitter
Probably because i was tweeting to a bunch of girl friends maybe?
Shes still texting me to console her when she has issues.

I've had enough and wrote this

I wrote this for my last text


U know. Technically, we sorta just broke up. So i dont think we should be this close. U need to go sort things out before u come to me for consolation.
Dont delude yourself to thinking everything's alright or everything can stay the same. Because it ain't anymore. I am not gonna be there for you all the time. U have ur bestfriends and ur ex for that. Not me.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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foreverAFC

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lol give it up dude, dont you see she is not into you, she is just getting off on the attention, you guys had nothing special between you, ignore her and move on
 
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