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21 with 4 failed relationships - Any advice?

TheManMasenko

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Hey guys,

For the past years, I had no luck in acquiring a long term relationship for 6 months+. The longest relationship I had just ended (June) and it was 5 months.

The best thing about that relationship is my ex made everything easy for me. From the approach, sex, etc.

The worst thing about that relationship was my negativity plus her toxicity, which caused me to fumble her. But she broke up with me and moved on…hard to say if I fumble (YKTV).

Now I’m reflecting, 21, 4 failed relationships, and lacking an intimate relationship of over a year…which is a sad feet if I ask myself.

Especially, since I want to get married one day.

Despite, the negativity I’ve been working out and building my self esteem like a *****. Without a doubt, I can put myself out in the world and accept judgment from whoever.
——————————

But heres the dilemma/struggle…

- I want a girl to make the process easy for me like my ex (give choosing signals, etc)
- I feel all my exs break up and move on because I’m short (5’6.5).
- I believe, they find me attractive to ****, but just not an ideal partner for a long term. This thought causes some internal conflict to myself. Since I don’t tend to go on dates with them due to this (I had negative experiences prior).
- I want a girl taller than me.
- I don’t want to cold approach, but I’m not saying, I won’t do it.

I just need some thoughts and advice. Nothing generic please.

Do you recommend cold approach or just wait for choosing signals? How should I approach an LTR? How should I approach negativity from others regarding my relationship? Etc

Anything helps. Thanks.
 
Last edited:

Chowdah

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Young grasshoppa, you are in college. You've experienced 4 relationships before 21, that's awesome.

What did you LEARN from those failed relationships? This would get some insight on where your head is at.
 

TheManMasenko

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Young grasshoppa, you are in college. You've experienced 4 relationships before 21, that's awesome.

What did you LEARN from those failed relationships? This would get some insight on where your head is at.
One thing I learned which is a fact. Hypergamy (a girl moves on to a "better" option) ONLY occurs if the man is not doing his part, wether that be maintaining frame (emotional stability) or lacking in whatever area (socially, working out, finance, etc).
 

devilkingx2

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That's just a normal relationship. Unless you're a traditional housewife or age 30+ you shouldn't expect every relationship to last for years.

It's way better to end things when they stop being fun rather than get sucked dry for years until she has a richer replacement.

Just don't let bad experiences poison your soul and make you a bitter hateful person

And don't repeat the same mistakes every time, failure is a part of learning and growing.
 

devilkingx2

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But heres the dilemma/struggle…

- I want a girl to make the process easy for me like my ex (give choosing signals, etc)
- I feel all my exs break up and move on because I’m short (5’6.5).
- I believe, they find me attractive to ****, but just not an ideal partner for a long term. This thought causes some internal conflict to myself. Since I don’t tend to go on dates with them due to this (I had negative experiences prior).
- I want a girl taller than me.
- I don’t want to cold approach, but I’m not saying, I won’t do it.
1. You must have amazing looks if you've gotten into 4 relationships by waiting for them to come to you. Although waiting for choosing signals is a good way to filter out low interest.

2. If a girl didn't like you for being short you probably wouldnt even reach the first date, and you definitely wouldn't reach the second. It didn't take her six months to figure out your height lol.

3. This is an oddly feminine energy for a man, you're not supposed to define yourself by how long you can keep a partner. Your goal is attracting hot women and you're succeeding.
Be careful what you wish for because long term value for most women = beta provider whose money I can spend

4. I would also like a girl taller than me, I'd love to hug her and have my face right between her boobs lol.

5. Cold Approaching sucks, and it might break you if you are not strong. But it's a great way to meet women and improve your game.
 

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SW15

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- I feel all my exs break up and move on because I’m short (5’6.5).

- I want a girl taller than me.
This is swimming against the current and will make your life more difficult. Most women want a taller man. The typical 5'9"-5'11" woman has no interest in a man under 5'7".

Your height sucks.

- I don’t want to cold approach, but I’m not saying, I won’t do it.

Do you recommend cold approach or just wait for choosing signals? How should I approach an LTR? How should I approach negativity from others regarding my relationship? Etc
If you're not going to cold approach, you're either going to have to swipe, which is a disadvantage. Your only other choice is to build a social circle. That's a SLOW process. It may take years to produce any dates. I'm 39 and have never had a social circle. I have friends, but no social circle that can help me get dates.

You've experienced 4 relationships before 21, that's awesome.
Sex with 4 different women at 21 is a decent accomplishment. Many men would like that. Your biggest problem is retaining relationships, since your longest relationship is 5 months.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Date a girl shorter than you. Get over it! I want a hot sexy Persian girl with oil wealth but that ain’t happening.
 

SW15

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Yes,
Date a girl shorter than you. Get over it! I want a hot sexy Persian girl with oil wealth but that ain’t happening.
I've had to deal with this too. I'm only 5'10". I find many women in the 5'10"-6'2" range quite attractive. Getting an equal height woman is generally a challenge.

I think the best idea is shorter but multiple inches shorter. 3 inches shorter or more is going to open up the most options. @TheManMasenko could round up to 5'7" and focus on women 5'4" and below.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Yes,

I've had to deal with this too. I'm only 5'10". I find many women in the 5'10"-6'2" range quite attractive. Getting an equal height woman is generally a challenge.

I think the best idea is shorter but multiple inches shorter. 3 inches shorter or more is going to open up the most options. @TheManMasenko could round up to 5'7" and focus on women 5'4" and below.
Im 6ft and my recent exes were 5ft 10sh and that was the best height for sex and I always felt secure with having kids with them. I’ve tried talking to shorter girls and the sex isn’t as good and I’m always thinking about short kids lol.
 

SW15

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Im 6ft and my recent exes were 5ft 10sh and that was the best height for sex and I always felt secure with having kids with them. I’ve tried talking to shorter girls and the sex isn’t as good and I’m always thinking about short kids lol.
You got to the magic height number of 6'0". 6'0" with a 5'10" girlfriend is very good.
 

Konada

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I wrote a post recently on how I am running my LTR successfully and am getting married soon, hope it can give you good insights:

Its hard to give you specific advice if we don't know the facts of your failed relationships, we need details.

Overall, running a successful LTR requires you to choose a good woman, there are too many damaged goods out there that are not LTR material.

However, don't take this as a excuse to put her on a pedestal, your mindset while going into an LTR is "How does she add value to my life?". Since you are young, you probably won't figure out this question so you will have to fumble a few more times to find your answer.

Women who offer looks and sex only in an LTR will not last, sooner or later you will get bored or cheat.
 

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TheManMasenko

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I wrote a post recently on how I am running my LTR successfully and am getting married soon, hope it can give you good insights:

Its hard to give you specific advice if we don't know the facts of your failed relationships, we need details.

Overall, running a successful LTR requires you to choose a good woman, there are too many damaged goods out there that are not LTR material.

However, don't take this as a excuse to put her on a pedestal, your mindset while going into an LTR is "How does she add value to my life?". Since you are young, you probably won't figure out this question so you will have to fumble a few more times to find your answer.

Women who offer looks and sex only in an LTR will not last, sooner or later you will get bored or cheat.
thanks bro, I’ll check it out
 

sevbucmash

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- I feel all my exs break up and move on because I’m short (5’6.5)
The reason they break up with you is the following. They enter a relationship with you feeling one way. You see -- women are not capable of loving. The only thing they love is how they feel themselves being around you. Thus, they enter relationship feeling themselves around you a certain way, and then things change, and their feelings about being with you change and they stop loving being around you.

Several reasons why their feelings might change. Most common are:
  1. You relax and stop aiming towards success.
  2. Your woman becomes center of your attention instead of your life and success being center of your attention.

There are several things you should do. Number one 1) is stop chasing women and stop trying to get into relationship. You see -- woman has to ask you for a relationship, not you. True, she won't come out bold and say let's live together. But she will give you hints. Stop trying to wife these beyatches. It's not your job. Your job is to bang them and get on with your life. This is because only this way you could know her true interest in you.

Number two 2) once you bang a woman several times, do a pull back. You had three dates, you slept together one time, two times, three times. Stop calling her. Stop scheduling new dates and meets. If you don't do pull back first, she will do her pull back on you, to get you hooked emotionally. You should always pull back first, because that's how you get her emotionally attached to you. LOVE. :love::love: For her to feel in love with the way she feels being around you, she has to get emotionally attached to you. I bet your ass is ready to fall in love with any pretty girl, especially if she's available and throwing herself at you. Whatever hole is easy you will fall in love and try to wife it. But women don't work that way. For them to fall in love they have to get emotionally attached to you.

Number three 3) your number 1 priority is your success. Women love money. Women love successful men. Successful men with money have larger penis and smell better, ask any woman, they will all confirm. Guy living with his parents, that has no money does not get laid. That guy masturbates. Only dudes with money, job, nice car, own place get sex. Your SUCCESS and your MONEY is your NUMBER ONE attraction tool. Thus stop chasing women, chase your success and chase money. Women then, like flies, will gather around you and will try to exchange sex on a chance to be around you.
 
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DonQuixote

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Hey guys,

For the past years, I had no luck in acquiring a long term relationship for 6 months+. The longest relationship I had just ended (June) and it was 5 months.

The best thing about that relationship is my ex made everything easy for me. From the approach, sex, etc.

The worst thing about that relationship was my negativity plus her toxicity, which caused me to fumble her. But she broke up with me and moved on…hard to say if I fumble (YKTV).

Now I’m reflecting, 21, 4 failed relationships, and lacking an intimate relationship of over a year…which is a sad feet if I ask myself.

Especially, since I want to get married one day.

Despite, the negativity I’ve been working out and building my self esteem like a *****. Without a doubt, I can put myself out in the world and accept judgment from whoever.
——————————

But heres the dilemma/struggle…

- I want a girl to make the process easy for me like my ex (give choosing signals, etc)
- I feel all my exs break up and move on because I’m short (5’6.5).
- I believe, they find me attractive to ****, but just not an ideal partner for a long term. This thought causes some internal conflict to myself. Since I don’t tend to go on dates with them due to this (I had negative experiences prior).
- I want a girl taller than me.
- I don’t want to cold approach, but I’m not saying, I won’t do it.

I just need some thoughts and advice. Nothing generic please.

Do you recommend cold approach or just wait for choosing signals? How should I approach an LTR? How should I approach negativity from others regarding my relationship? Etc

Anything helps. Thanks.
You sound similar to me except that I did not manage to have four relationships even at my age. Yeah, I met some girls, but the long term potential comes from within. The greatest LTR character I had was when I had my priorities in check. I oozed stability like a rock in the sea with strong frame and boundaries. This is where marriage material virgin girls approached me. Unfortunately I was too inexperienced and lacked bite in the crucial moment.

Hypergamy (a girl moves on to a "better" option) ONLY occurs if the man is not doing his part, wether that be maintaining frame (emotional stability) or lacking in whatever area (socially, working out, finance, etc).
You are right on here. Women don't tolerate weakness and will drop your ass when you don't get your act together. Many men cannot admit that "hypergamy" kicks in when they fail as a man.
 

BackInTheGame78

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No, the women don't leave because of your height, they leave because they are tired of the negativity.

Nobody wants to be around that for any length of time. It sucks the energy out of you...whatever is causing that you need to work on it because you might as well just hit the replay button otherwise.
 

RangerMIke

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The only advice I have is to not focus so much on 'relationships'.

Work on you and your life, abandon bad habits, work towards personal goals, date when you have time. Then let the women figure out if they want to work to get and keep you.

The problem is as soon as you think the 'relationship' is the goal you are on your way out, because you will begin to sacrifice your wants and goals for hers. As soon as you start doing this she begins to lose respect for you.

Compromise when you have to, but always get reciprocity. The thing you have to remember about a woman who is in a relationship with you, she KNOWS what you want and what you like. If she starts to do and demand things that goes against what you like... you are losing her.

If you pay attention to this, then you'll notice in the dating process when this starts to happen and you pop smoke before a 'relationship' forms.
 
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