2008 Enter The Cougar Craze

[COD]

Back in the day “May-December” romantic escapades were few are far between and would ignite gossip instantly……Remember the classic movie Mrs. Robinson. The term MILF got tossed around back in the 90’s. Today not much has changed except the gender reversal is gaining more acceptance.

The COUGAR CRAZE refers to older women dating and sometimes marrying younger men. We ain’t talking 5-7 years either, it’s more like 15-25 or more years (Ashton & Demi most famous Hollywood icons mid 2000’s) Men have always craved younger women, and if a woman dated an older man (within a few years) it was perfectly accepted. Suspicion increases as the age gap widens, if a woman dates a much older man, stereotypical thinking is she is a gold digger/seeking a sugar daddy (think Anna Nicole Smith).

A double standard is injected if a lady (lets say in her late 40’s-50’s) dates a man in his 20’s. Now I am a firm believer in the old cliché` that age is just a number. As we progress into the future cosmetics, age defying medicines, not too mention plastic surgery all will have an impact on the cougar craze.

Today the fascination is primarily based around the sexual compatibility that younger men posses, which coincides with a woman’s sexual peek. Despite erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra best efforts older women still prefer younger men. The second part has to do with the thrill factor that goes along with dating someone youthful. The benefits for young men is their sexual needs are met with very little drama. They also sometimes get someone to take care of them from a financial aspect. Outside the bedroom, things in common are few and far between. Obvious problems exist from maturity levels, conversational gaps manifest, reactions from others and kids also factor into the equation.

So let’s say you venture forward and decide to get involved with a Cougar here is some basic advice;

1) Use your youth to your advantage by making the cougar feel young and desirable. The high energy levels you project along with your fresh look and carefree attitude should do the trick quite nicely.

2) The age question will come up so try to deflect it quickly this as possible….how old am I…….old enough to know better, young enough not to care or age is just a number, what you can’t keep up with a younger man, etc

3) Don’t complicate it, enjoy the ride, take care of her physical needs and she will take care of yours needs in more ways than one.

4) Depending on her age she may have a life outside of you-demanding job, ex-husband, kids, doctor visits, etc. Give her the space she requests, don’t manipulate her time.

 

[volkme68]

Definitely have to agree withCOD about cougers. Despite there age, many women 30-50 age are extremely attractive. Alot are workout fanatics and health freaks. Coupled with plastic surgery and there are some definite hotties in this age group.

I go to school in a coastal city in FL and whenever my friends and I go out, we run into cougers. I probably see more attractive older women then girls my own age.

The game is a little different in older women. They are often pretty easy to pick up. With younger girls, it is usually not a good idea to display attraction too soon, but witholder women, if you show the initial attraction, they will open the doors for you-hence the couger metaphor. For aspiring DJs, it can be a good place to start.

Older women are a blast to hang out with too. If nothing else, they are usually amazing pivots and willing to play the part

 

[insidious]

When I was 23ish I hooked up with a 40ish woman. We became occasional FB's for a few years and that was the best damn time I ever had in my 20's. She did not care about marriage or houses or my earnings or children. She just wanted a good time, and there is nothing that a 23 year old guy wants more than a good time. The way I saw it then was that girls in my age group were way too involved in presentation of image and female peer pressure issues and frankly, they had a terrible time lightening up.

 

[joe bloggs]

50 years old, WTF???

I can just about imagine someone in their 30s but in their 50s? What next - 70year olds?

 

[StevenR]

This is why I don't agree with the dated concept that men's value increases with age and women's value decreases. This may have been true in the pre-feminism days but now I think older men will have it just as difficult as older women have always had it. I think guys in the mm forum who say otherwise are deluding themselves. It is now as socially acceptable, and easy, easier actually, for an older woman to hook up with a younger man is it once was for a rich older man to hook up with a younger woman. If a 40's or 50's man wants a younger woman in the western world I think he pretty much has to go to Russia or something to find one, at least that is the trend that I notice, that and the women on the online dating sites being just as picky about age as men traditionally have been in years past.

 

[jady]

50 years old, WTF???

I can just about imagine someone in their 30s but in their 50s? What next - 70year olds?

70 yr olds are not cougars, they are sabretooths!!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I've tapped my share of older women when I was in my 20s and I can tell you that the sex was no more or less extrordinary than the younger women I've been with. The only major difference? I never had to worry about 22 y.o. single girls finding a babysitter for a night or had to be concerned with making too much noise during sex so as not to wake up her son in the next room. Nor was I concerned about it being "her weekend" to have the kids. If the common belief is that older women encourage an idea that they are more sexually available, you've got to ask yourself, why would they be motivted to be more so at 35 than 25?

Don't get me wrong, there are many attractive women in their 30s & 40s but these are uncommon exceptions to the rule. The social reinforcement of the "older woman" fantasy is just a modern extension of the "she's still got it" social convention with the latent purpose of leveling the playing field for 30-40 something women unable to sexually compete for the same calibre men with 18-28 y.o. women.

Women's sexual value naturally declines as they age - it serves an older woman's purpose if she can redefine sexuality as her conditions change through life, and convince society that she's correct and genuine. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may epitomize this fantasy, but in reality, there are thousands of women filling gyms across the country for every Demi Moore convinced that they "still got it" while every year a new crop of 22-24 y.o. hotties commands the attention of the same men they're competing for. This is just the natural extension of the 'Have It All" lie that women have been sold for the last 50 years.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

I like the topic as I know it to be true, so I wish that address a reply that I feel is not a positive influence for some of the younger men who are just getting their feet wet.

This is why I don't agree with the dated concept that men's value increases with age and women's value decreases.

Dated concept? I disagree. I don't feel like typing out a dissertation, but check out the book, As A Man Thinketh. Quick quote for ya from the book, "Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves."

This may have been true in the pre-feminism days but now I think older men will have it just as difficult as older women have always had it. I think guys in the mm forum who say otherwise are deluding themselves.

Sounds like this is your reality. It's not mine.

It is now as socially acceptable, and easy, easier actually, for an older woman to hook up with a younger man.

Yep. Boy's are looking for a quick bang and the cougars give it to them and leave. Cougars put out and usually swallow and take it in the ass. Good teachers they can be

is it once was for a rich older man to hook up with a younger woman. .

Wealthy, older dudes can get lots of tail one way or another. Are you not wealthy and older or are you not aware of how to do this?

If a 40's or 50's man wants a younger woman in the western world I think he pretty much has to go to Russia or something to find one, at least that is the trend that I notice

Younger women to marry or bang? I see mail order brides and traveling to find a wife discussed online, but haven't seen it in real life. I'm sure it happens, but I don't know anyone who has done it.

Generally, younger chicks of all cultures are easy to bang if you're an older guy - you've just gotta have the right mindset.

that and the women on the online dating sites being just as picky about age as men traditionally have been in years past.

Women who use online dating can be as picky as they want to be. Dating sites have a much higher percentage of men vs. women. I checked out one site and it openly admitted in the fine print that the men to women ratio was 90% men to 10% women.

Hey man, I wish you the best of luck. Keep positive, you'll get there :cheer:

 

[djbr]

I've tapped my share of older women when I was in my 20s and I can tell you that the sex was no more or less extrordinary than the younger women I've been with. The only major difference? I never had to worry about 22 y.o. single girls finding a babysitter for a night or had to be concerned with making too much noise during sex so as not to wake up her son in the next room. Nor was I concerned about it being "her weekend" to have the kids. If the common belief is that older women encourage an idea that they are more sexually available, you've got to ask yourself, why would they be motivted to be more so at 35 than 25?

Don't get me wrong, there are many attractive women in their 30s & 40s but these are uncommon exceptions to the rule. The social reinforcement of the "older woman" fantasy is just a modern extension of the "she's still got it" social convention with the latent purpose of leveling the playing field for 30-40 something women unable to sexually compete for the same calibre men with 18-28 y.o. women.

Women's sexual value naturally declines as they age - it serves an older woman's purpose if she can redefine sexuality as her conditions change through life, and convince society that she's correct and genuine. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may epitomize this fantasy, but in reality, there are thousands of women filling gyms across the country for every Demi Moore convinced that they "still got it" while every year a new crop of 22-24 y.o. hotties commands the attention of the same men they're competing for. This is just the natural extension of the 'Have It All" lie that women have been sold for the last 50 years.

I've had my share of "Cougars" and I can say that younger girls is time waaaaaaay better spent.

 

[broken dreams]

Error

 

[broken dreams]

I posted a thread to explain how society uses leverage to promote cougars. women promote nice guy datimg courtship pedestal effect and now cougars.

Know your role

 

[DonGorgon]

50 years old, WTF???

I can just about imagine someone in their 30s but in their 50s? What next - 70year olds?

Yup... just as young females have always given sexual favors to old men for money and gifts, feminists have now dispatched and army of over the hill slut$ and hos to F as many young men as they can...

BUt of courece since most young men are so sex starved anyway in most cases the old women have to pay nothing at all for sexual service from younger men...

70 year olds you ask??? You will be amazed at what people will do/F as long as no one knows about it...

 

[ketostix]

This trend of cougar craze is a product of women nowadays increasingly having too many options, too much power and value. I definitely don't think it's because older woman are more attractive and desirable than they were in the past. A young guy who settles for cougars can't attract the younger girls. That's fine with me if younger guys want cougars. That's just less competition for the younger girls.

 

[#41]

This trend of cougar craze is a product of women nowadays increasingly having too many options, too much power and value. I definitely don't think it's because older woman are more attractive and desirable than they were in the past. A young guy who settles for cougars can't attract the younger girls. That's fine with me if younger guys want cougars. That's just less competition for the younger girls.

That's a misread on the power dynamics at play.

The "cougar" mentality is summed up well in the very name -- a predatory animal. The 'advantage' that a cougar has is not in being powerful or having high value -- rather, it is their willingness to be the aggressor that allows them to compete with younger and more attractive women.

Many of the men you speak dismissively of could attract younger women, but doing so requires a commitment of time and energy (required to approach, game, date, etc.). An older "cougar" often presents an easier target that requires less output of energy -- they do they hard work for you.

 

[ketostix]

That's a misread on the power dynamics at play.

The "cougar" mentality is summed up well in the very name -- a predatory animal. The 'advantage' that a cougar has is not in being powerful or having high value -- rather, it is their willingness to be the aggressor that allows them to compete with younger and more attractive women.

I think the term cougar coined by the mainstream and the insinuation of predatory has more to do with age difference than the woman taking aggressive initiative. Even if the young guy pursued the cougar, she'd still be acougar for accepting his advances. It's like a man could be called predatory by some circles for doing the same thing he's expected to do, pursue the woman and take initiative, just because there's too much age difference.

Many of the men you speak dismissively of could attract younger women, but doing so requires a commitment of time and energy (required to approach, game, date, etc.). An older "cougar" often presents an easier target that requires less output of energy -- they do they hard work for you.

Well I don't know how much more time a younger girl always takes for a guy who's attractive but it seems to me that if cougars were doing all the chasing the guy would still have time for younger girls which I think are more desirable. Most young guys that I know who settle for cougars can't attract younger girls very well. I see your point that older women can be more "mature" and less work and if a cougar is throwing herself at you I can see taking her on, but I know a lot of younger guys put a lot of time and effort pursuing cougars too.

 

[MikeYikes122]

Yup... just as young females have always given sexual favors to old men for money and gifts, feminists have now dispatched and army of over the hill slut$ and hos to F as many young men as they can...

BUt of courece since most young men are so sex starved anyway in most cases the old women have to pay nothing at all for sexual service from younger men...

70 year olds you ask??? You will be amazed at what people will do/F as long as no one knows about it...

:crazy:

 

[MikeYikes122]

This trend of cougar craze is a product of women nowadays increasingly having too many options, too much power and value. I definitely don't think it's because older woman are more attractive and desirable than they were in the past. A young guy who settles for cougars can't attract the younger girls. That's fine with me if younger guys want cougars. That's just less competition for the younger girls.

I think the Cougar phenomenon is a product of two things.

Firstly, technology is helping women (and men even) avoid aging. I work with two 33-year-old women who model apparel for a living. Thanks in part to good hygiene and modern medicine, they look like they're my age. Granted, they wear more makeup than a clown and have gone under the knife more than a Thanksgiving turkey, but they do really live up to the mantra that 30 is the new 20. Bottom line, if she has the money and the dedication, a woman can look good until her late 40s.

Secondly, I think the mainstream media is to blame for the cougar phenomenon. Shows like Sex and the City have given women the idea that they can live like they're in their 20s until they're in their 40s. It's a welcome message for the typical modern woman, who has been taught since she was a teenager that she has to start settling down at the age of 25.

 

[MikeYikes122]

This is why I don't agree with the dated concept that men's value increases with age and women's value decreases. This may have been true in the pre-feminism days but now I think older men will have it just as difficult as older women have always had it. I think guys in the mm forum who say otherwise are deluding themselves. It is now as socially acceptable, and easy, easier actually, for an older woman to hook up with a younger man is it once was for a rich older man to hook up with a younger woman. If a 40's or 50's man wants a younger woman in the western world I think he pretty much has to go to Russia or something to find one, at least that is the trend that I notice, that and the women on the online dating sites being just as picky about age as men traditionally have been in years past.

The dudes on the MM forum who are 40-50 years old and still chasing around girls who are my age are the ones who are fooling themselves.

My dad epitomizes the young looking 50. He has all his hair, he's worked out his entire life, and he used to run marathons before his back went out. Now, he has to cycle instead of run so that his back doesn't take too much stress, but he is still in tip-top physical shape.

Girls I've dated and girls I've been friends with admit that he is good looking for an old guy, but none of them has ever expressed a legitimate sexual attraction to him. The only exception was a girl I know who is bat sh!t crazy. She went after my dad, but only because she has severe daddy issues of her own.

Sorry, but if you're in your 40s or 50s and chasing around girls who are half your age, you're creepy. We need to start admitting this on SoSuave and not giving guys like StevenR the wrong idea. I live in an area populated by people who are either in college or just out of it, and I see these kinds of guys lurking around at the bars and clubs all the time. Never do I see any of them with girls who are in their early 20s (except when they're with their daughters). Most of them are usually alone or with some hoodrat-looking chicks.

But age does really give men social value. These 40- and 50-year-old guys have a ton of social value in the eyes of women who are in their 30s and even late 20s. It works the same with a guy who is in his mid-20s or late-20s. Girls who are in their late teens or early 20s will see them as more attractive. It's just the natural order of things. I didn't believe in it either until I started getting older.

Truthfully, I dreaded turning 24. To me, it seemed that 24 is the first real adult year of a person's life. You're too old to be an undergraduate in college. Either you're in graduate school and living a semi-professional life or you have a legitimate salary-paying job. I was all ready to grow up. I figured my dating pool would change accordingly, and I'd start pairing up with girls who were a little bit older and more serious about dating.

The opposite has been the case. I've still been dating girls who are in their early 20s, and never has my game been better with them. Granted, I've improved a little bit in the past couple of years, but not to the point that my game should be receiving this type of boost. Honestly, I can't wait to turn 25.

Basically, my point is, age does give men social value but only to a realistic point. Guys who are in their 40s and 50s will be seen as creepy to the vast majority of girls who are in their early 20s, but they'll have no problem attracting women who are in their late 20s and 30s. Men do have the advantage in the dating game as they get older, and if you ignore it you're doing yourself a pretty big disservice.

 

[Omen]

For me, this older woman thing is kind of scary since I dont know what to expect. I've always dated women younger than me. ALWAYS. Partly due to the fact I look so much younger, and that I am pretty active and full of energy.

Recently I started talking to someone online who is 38 (i'll be 29 this month) and while this woman is fit, and doesn't look that old, it is different.

I dont know what to think. I've always said i'd date and marry a woman younger than me so she can outlive me, and still look young when I do. I can pass for 18, no problem. But a possibility of dating or taking a woman out who is 38 would be new.

She swears she can keep up, and likes younger men because they have more energy. She gets up early, works lots, does kickboxing, and doesn't want a guy who is an old geezer.

I really dont know what to do. I guess it never hurts to try something once. And this woman does NOT have kids and has never been married.

And not that i'm going to marry her, but the idea of having a kid be born when mom is 40 is awkward because my mom had me at 23 (and married). Still to this day they are married, but I always had the idea I wanted to be with someone quite a bit younger, so I always had that younger woman with me.

I probably should be more level headed and just give an older woman a try. I'm sure my friends would be for loss at words since girls 18-21 are what I usually flirt with. They'd wonder what got into me.

It would be nice to have people who have dated someone like i've stated, share their experience a little more, and how you went about it, or saw it. Was it odd, was it cool, did it scare you, would you ever go back to an older woman?

I'm just looking for some advice

 

[ketostix]

It would be nice to have people who have dated someone like i've stated, share their experience a little more, and how you went about it, or saw it. Was it odd, was it cool, did it scare you, would you ever go back to an older woman?

I'm just looking for some advice

Honestly I would spin any plate that I found attractive and didn't give me grief, as necessary. But I wouldn't recommend a 28 year-old male date a woman older than him. If you have no other options, then only as a last resort. I don't care what anyone says, any guy in his 20's dating an older woman is settling for less. Actually I think that goes for any guy dating a woman older than him but IMO a woman much over 28 has little value.

I also think it's societal programming to think a man of 40 or so is automatically "creepy" for wanting to date an early 20 year-old woman. It's basically natural. It is strange for an older woman to want to date a younger man. There's no comparison. But conviently society doesn't react as negatively to a woman dating younger men. That's tells you all you need to know about the bias.