"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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2 plates - how do I get this 2nd going as good as the first?

md3sign

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I have 2 plates going right now, both of whom I've seen a few times for several weeks now. Both are going well, we have a lot of fun and I hit it every time.

Plate1 is great. She invites me out, she easily pays for half the dates, and does all the texting/calling with the "I miss you" etc etc. Basically got her right where I want her and it just keeps getting better.

Plate2 is good too. We go out, have fun, and I hit it every time. However, she's not as attached. She doesn't invite me out and doesn't just call/text out of the blue, but once I get a hold of her a few days later she's still very enthusiastic about going out and that's when the calls/texts start coming in until we see each other. Now there is one detail which probably influences some of this: she isn't allowed to drive for a few more months, so I have to pick her up/drop her off. She also doesn't really pay for our dates. She has offered once and I just told her to get the tip, which was probably a dumb move on my part. I hinted at gas money the other night at the beginning and near the end of the date she gave me some without me asking.

Anyway, I understand the mentality "if it ain't broken, don't fix it". However, I'm wondering if there's anything I can do (or not do) to strengthen the attraction. Part of me thinks that maybe she just knows the game well. She's definitely experienced (at least from what I can tell by her performance and some information bread crumbs which fall into my lap every now and then) and she's got a near perfect body so I'm sure she gets plenty of attention. Or it could just be the way she is. Regardless, I just figured I'd ask if anyone has dealt with a plate like this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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md3sign

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I mentioned in the first post I've gone all the way with both girls every time we've hung out.
 

PRMoon

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Ease up on the throttle. If you've got one going well and the other isn't going according to plan then you should feel free to give less attention and adjust contacts to get different results.

Also after getting two girls going at the same time is kind of a milestone. From that point, getting number three shouldn't be that difficult.
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Then it comes down to this. If the second plate isn't giving enough effort for ya - tell her. You can do it nicely but stern - I usually do it in a c&f manner. The other way is the next time you two are setting something up say something like, "So where are you taking me?" or "We're going to dinner, your treat." If she balks - ditch her man she's gonna walk all over ya.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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md3sign

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PR - you're right. I was thinking of going this next week without contacting her at all. No luck getting a third yet but I'm working on it. And it is a milestone for me. I've never been able to do this before.

Mind - I kinda figured that might be a good idea as well, i.e. letting her take me out (of course I'd still have to drive) next time we hang out. Have you done this before? I definitely feel like I've put more effort into things with her mainly because of the driving I have to do all the time and the lack of hanging out at her place (she lives with her folks and they're nice but strict).
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Mind - I kinda figured that might be a good idea as well, i.e. letting her take me out (of course I'd still have to drive) next time we hang out. Have you done this before? I definitely feel like I've put more effort into things with her mainly because of the driving I have to do all the time and the lack of hanging out at her place (she lives with her folks and they're nice but strict).
Yes. I use this line a lot. Especially to turn things around if you can tell she's going into "traditional male provide for female" mode. I'll do one of two things... not ask her out for a few days and wait until she says she wants to see me to which I reply "GREAT! Where are you taking me? I'm in the mood for pizza" or if you don't want to wait just call her up and say something like "Hey I'm in the mood for pizza, so where are you taking us?" If she says, well I can't take you anywhere I can't drive, bring up the topic say "OK! I'll drive you pay." This sets up a "balance" between you two.

You can still pick her up - I mean sh1t that's just logistics, she doesn't really have any option unless you want mommy and daddy chaeuffering you around in the mini-van ;)
 

G-Theory

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Next time you go out, maybe you should try getting her to the point where she is all worked up and horny and then call it a night. See what happens.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Mind_Body_Soul said:
How physical have you gotten with these girls?

LOL...Are you serious?? Did you even read his post???




PIMP
 

md3sign

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Update: I did as you guys suggested. Haven't talked to her since our last date. She texted me earlier today and we shot a few back and forth, and I mentioned we should hang out soon. A couple msgs later I told her to "start thinking about where she's taking me cause it's her turn" and she's cool with it. So far so good.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

md3sign

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Update:

Plate1 is going strong as ever.

Plate2 is still "weird" though. Since the last update, we did get together a couple times and things went well, but I feel like I'm doing a lot of the work still. The last time we saw each other was last Monday. I texted her Thursday about hanging out this weekend and mentioned I wanted to drink to which she replied "I don't know". I haven't talked to her since. She's nowhere near as interested as plate1 as she never calls or anything.

Part of me thinks it's because she's been seeing another guy, but that's nothing new. She brought it up the first time we hung out (she's already been seeing him a couple months by that point). I'm perfectly fine with her seeing someone else as I'm doing the same, but I'm wondering if that has anything to do with her lack of interest.

I don't want to drop her, but I'm not sure what I can/should do (if anything) to raise her interest level. Any advice?
 
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