"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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2 plates - how do I get this 2nd going as good as the first?

md3sign

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I have 2 plates going right now, both of whom I've seen a few times for several weeks now. Both are going well, we have a lot of fun and I hit it every time.

Plate1 is great. She invites me out, she easily pays for half the dates, and does all the texting/calling with the "I miss you" etc etc. Basically got her right where I want her and it just keeps getting better.

Plate2 is good too. We go out, have fun, and I hit it every time. However, she's not as attached. She doesn't invite me out and doesn't just call/text out of the blue, but once I get a hold of her a few days later she's still very enthusiastic about going out and that's when the calls/texts start coming in until we see each other. Now there is one detail which probably influences some of this: she isn't allowed to drive for a few more months, so I have to pick her up/drop her off. She also doesn't really pay for our dates. She has offered once and I just told her to get the tip, which was probably a dumb move on my part. I hinted at gas money the other night at the beginning and near the end of the date she gave me some without me asking.

Anyway, I understand the mentality "if it ain't broken, don't fix it". However, I'm wondering if there's anything I can do (or not do) to strengthen the attraction. Part of me thinks that maybe she just knows the game well. She's definitely experienced (at least from what I can tell by her performance and some information bread crumbs which fall into my lap every now and then) and she's got a near perfect body so I'm sure she gets plenty of attention. Or it could just be the way she is. Regardless, I just figured I'd ask if anyone has dealt with a plate like this.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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md3sign

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I mentioned in the first post I've gone all the way with both girls every time we've hung out.
 

PRMoon

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Ease up on the throttle. If you've got one going well and the other isn't going according to plan then you should feel free to give less attention and adjust contacts to get different results.

Also after getting two girls going at the same time is kind of a milestone. From that point, getting number three shouldn't be that difficult.
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Then it comes down to this. If the second plate isn't giving enough effort for ya - tell her. You can do it nicely but stern - I usually do it in a c&f manner. The other way is the next time you two are setting something up say something like, "So where are you taking me?" or "We're going to dinner, your treat." If she balks - ditch her man she's gonna walk all over ya.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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md3sign

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PR - you're right. I was thinking of going this next week without contacting her at all. No luck getting a third yet but I'm working on it. And it is a milestone for me. I've never been able to do this before.

Mind - I kinda figured that might be a good idea as well, i.e. letting her take me out (of course I'd still have to drive) next time we hang out. Have you done this before? I definitely feel like I've put more effort into things with her mainly because of the driving I have to do all the time and the lack of hanging out at her place (she lives with her folks and they're nice but strict).
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Mind - I kinda figured that might be a good idea as well, i.e. letting her take me out (of course I'd still have to drive) next time we hang out. Have you done this before? I definitely feel like I've put more effort into things with her mainly because of the driving I have to do all the time and the lack of hanging out at her place (she lives with her folks and they're nice but strict).
Yes. I use this line a lot. Especially to turn things around if you can tell she's going into "traditional male provide for female" mode. I'll do one of two things... not ask her out for a few days and wait until she says she wants to see me to which I reply "GREAT! Where are you taking me? I'm in the mood for pizza" or if you don't want to wait just call her up and say something like "Hey I'm in the mood for pizza, so where are you taking us?" If she says, well I can't take you anywhere I can't drive, bring up the topic say "OK! I'll drive you pay." This sets up a "balance" between you two.

You can still pick her up - I mean sh1t that's just logistics, she doesn't really have any option unless you want mommy and daddy chaeuffering you around in the mini-van ;)
 

G-Theory

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Next time you go out, maybe you should try getting her to the point where she is all worked up and horny and then call it a night. See what happens.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Mind_Body_Soul said:
How physical have you gotten with these girls?

LOL...Are you serious?? Did you even read his post???




PIMP
 

md3sign

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Update: I did as you guys suggested. Haven't talked to her since our last date. She texted me earlier today and we shot a few back and forth, and I mentioned we should hang out soon. A couple msgs later I told her to "start thinking about where she's taking me cause it's her turn" and she's cool with it. So far so good.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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md3sign

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Update:

Plate1 is going strong as ever.

Plate2 is still "weird" though. Since the last update, we did get together a couple times and things went well, but I feel like I'm doing a lot of the work still. The last time we saw each other was last Monday. I texted her Thursday about hanging out this weekend and mentioned I wanted to drink to which she replied "I don't know". I haven't talked to her since. She's nowhere near as interested as plate1 as she never calls or anything.

Part of me thinks it's because she's been seeing another guy, but that's nothing new. She brought it up the first time we hung out (she's already been seeing him a couple months by that point). I'm perfectly fine with her seeing someone else as I'm doing the same, but I'm wondering if that has anything to do with her lack of interest.

I don't want to drop her, but I'm not sure what I can/should do (if anything) to raise her interest level. Any advice?
 
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