"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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1st Date

W

WrEcKLeSS2000

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Yes finally I had my first date, with a girl that I wasn't attracted to but went out with for practice...

I picked her up and we went for some ice cream...She told me though she was feeling tired and dizzy, so just sat with me...We talked for a while...I didn't apply kino cause like I said I'm not attracted to her. Anyway it ended quickly because she felt she was getting sick so i took her home...

I think now I'm gonna move on and try to meet other girls...I'm not attracted to her physically at all...But it was good practice and I realize that dating isn't such a huge deal...Even though I'm sure it is more significant when you are going out with someone you actually are attracted too


Comments welcome
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

RaMar

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uh congrats I guess. I don't know if I'd call that a date though. It sounds more to me like just hangin out then a date since you weren't attracted to her.
 
W

WrEcKLeSS2000

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Good point ramar but thats why you go out to get to know the girl and then develop feelings for her...

Sure I wasn't physically attracted to her but sometimes personality plays a big part...It was also hard since she was sort of sick...She was real tired and sort of out of it...

I definitely don't have any feelings for her after that....So I'll probably just move on and try to meet new girls
 
S

skinnydart

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I've noticed that to, when you're going out with a girl that you're not really into, you act totally different, not nervous, not really caring about the outcome of the evening, in a way, I've noticed has a positive effect, she sees that you aren't desperate for her. Helps build confidence in you at the same time.
 
W

WrEcKLeSS2000

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Yea I find that it is easier to hang out with girls who you aren't attracted too because theres no pressure and its easy to be relaxed and stuff...

As soon as I start thinking that the girl is really hot then i get all nervous and fidgety, thats the problem... I need to somehow start realzing that they are just normal girls like everyone else...


It's just hard for some reason
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

J

Juggalo

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It's hard because you're attracted to them...

Anyway, what are you goin to do if this girl comes up and asks you out again or starts to like you and all? Some girls get obsessed over a guy after a date....when they think they have a chance. Then....after you turn her down...you'll be more of a challenge to her and she'll persist.

Or....she might move on just like you're goin to do. :p
 
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