1st date feedback

[Juanto]

Hi guys, wanted to get some feedback from you.

I had a 1st date last night, went out for a beer with her and did my usual stuff, a little bit of comfort building, flirting, and kino. She was receptive,and after the beer we went for a short walk. At the end of the walk, and before she got in the train to go home, I went for the kiss but she gave me the cheek. I carried on like it was nothing, said goodbye and went home.

After getting home, she messages me saying that there was a later train she could have caught, and that we could have spent more time together, to which I replied: "It depends, not if you shown me the cheek again

. As I told you, I find you attractive and im interested in exploring that, if you arent interested in that that´s fine, we each go our separate ways".
She replies" Im just getting to know you, did you want to kiss me?" (silly from her, of course she knows I did)
I said: "Yes, when we said goodbye"

And finally she wrote: " I dont think its appropriate when someone wants to kiss me right on a 1st date".

Basically I have 2 questions, where did I go wrong (if anywhere), and is this dead in the water. I feel that it is, but just wanted to get feedback from you.

 

[AttackFormation]

Trying to say where you went wrong here will do more harm than good because we don't have any details, and even if we did, we don't know that it's something you did rather than simply her taste and mood at the time. My conclusion is don't worry about this specific woman and just move on.

Obviously her words themselves about how she doesn't make out on the first date and bla bla are just BS. But what she is really communicating is that she simply wasn't turned on, and that's it.

 

[Juanto]

Trying to say where you went wrong here will do more harm than good because we don't have any details, and even if we did, we don't know that it's something you did rather than simply her taste and mood at the time. My conclusion is don't worry about this specific woman and just move on.

Obviously her words themselves about how she doesn't make out on the first date and bla bla are just BS. But what she is really communicating is that she simply wasn't turned on, and that's it.

thanks, good points.

I reckon the only situation in these type of cases to still make it happen is only if she reaches out to me for another date, would you agree?

 

[AttackFormation]

thanks, good points.

I reckon the only situation in these type of cases to still make it happen is only if she reaches out to me for another date, would you agree?

Yes, if she wants to fvck you she will make it happen. In practice she won't.

 

[andreihaha]

Who knows. I assume attraction, and I think I only got the cheek treatment once or twice in the last 12 years.
Ask her if she never kissed a guy on the first date. I doubt she didn't.
"So you never kissed a guy on the first date? I always do that to see if there's chemistry between us. A lot of women actually make the first move."
She will either try to meet you again or not. I'd recommend letting her pursue you no matter what.
If she wants to see you, kiss her at the beggining of the next date. Your date will be a lot better if you do this.

 

[Juanto]

Who knows. I assume attraction, and I think I only got the cheek treatment once or twice in the last 12 years.
Ask her if she never kissed a guy on the first date. I doubt she didn't.
"So you never kissed a guy on the first date? I always do that to see if there's chemistry between us. A lot of women actually make the first move."
She will either try to meet you again or not. I'd recommend letting her pursue you no matter what.
If she wants to see you, kiss her at the beggining of the next date. Your date will be a lot better if you do this.

thanks, will try this approach.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Some women are funny about kissing on the first date but it doesn't necessarily mean low interest.

 

[Juanto]

Will just move on from this one, only if she contacts me back and wants to meet up again will I reengage.

 

[Lookatu]

Will just move on from this one, only if she contacts me back and wants to meet up again will I reengage.

Good for you. You should.

Women dismiss easily and so should you.
Kiss on cheek on first date = no no and time to move on. There are plenty of other gals that will be more receptive and into you.
IF she was interested in you, clearly she's the game playing type then and that's the type you don't want anyways.

 

[Juanto]

OP the next couple of first dates you go on avoid the lean in on the first date and see if you get better reactions and 2nd dates.
The 2nd date is the pivot for true escalation

Thanks for the tip mate. Why do you feel we should sit back in the 1st date and only escalate on the 2nd?

 

[Lookatu]

OP the next couple of first dates you go on avoid the lean in on the first date and see if you get better reactions and 2nd dates.
The 2nd date is the pivot for true escalation

I don't agree with this but to each their own. No kiss usually means low interest or she also may think you're not really interested or there is no spark. Sometimes you have to lead and provide that spark initially.

I do think through experience though, that keeping a quality gal or wanting a relationship of any sorts, they should wait to have sex at least until the 2nd date as it allows the girls to process and sleep on things to prevent buyer's remorse.

 

[Juanto]

I do think through experience though, that keeping a quality gal or wanting a relationship of any sorts, they should wait to have sex at least until the 2nd date as it allows the girls to process and sleep on things to prevent buyer's remorse.

I tend to agree here, however in my case we are talking about a mere kiss, which got denied which is far worse than denying a lay on the first date

 

[Lookatu]

I tend to agree here, however in my case we are talking about a mere kiss, which got denied which is far worse than denying a lay on the first date

Exactly. I'm in agreement and that's what I was trying to convey. Kiss should always be mandatory on 1st date if everything goes well. Sex might be a bonus if you get it on the first but often times, it's better if you get in on the 2nd date or later if the woman is quality and if you want a potential relationship out of it. Obviously this doesn't apply to plate, ONS, same day lay material if that's the only thing you're looking for.

 

[Murk]

She's into you, but in that short 1st date you didn't escalate or create enough desire, then rushed the ending.

Be bold from the go not as a last resort. You will see if the difference and never go back.

 

[Juanto]

Just as a add-on, she just wrote me that she has never kissed a guy on the 1st date, and if a guy is looking for something serious with a woman he also wouldn’t try to kiss a woman on a 1st date.

Can you believe this BS...

P.s. I’m 38, she is 35

 

[Lookatu]

Just as a add-on, she just wrote me that she has never kissed a guy on the 1st date, and if a guy is looking for something serious with a woman he also wouldn’t try to kiss a woman on a 1st date.

Can you believe this BS...

P.s. I’m 38, she is 35

LOL! Ask her if she time traveled from the 1950's...

Sounds like she's the ultimate prude and someone that would make you wait until the 20th date to have sex. Then she wouldn't do oral and only lie there like a starfish. Crisis averted!

 

[Murk]

Why are you wasting your time with prudes like this, ramp up some flirting before the first date next time.

 

[Juanto]

LOL! Ask her if she time traveled from the 1950's...

Sounds like she's the ultimate prude and someone that would make you wait until the 20th date to have sex. Then she wouldn't do oral and only lie there like a starfish. Crisis averted!

i agree. This was so silly from her

 

[Glassguy]

Just as a add-on, she just wrote me that she has never kissed a guy on the 1st date, and if a guy is looking for something serious with a woman he also wouldn’t try to kiss a woman on a 1st date.

Can you believe this BS...

P.s. I’m 38, she is 35

My response would be "Ok" and then silence. She would have to show some persistence if she wanted to see me again.

 

[bat soup]

I think you probably shouldn't have waited until the end to try to kiss her. It's better to warm her up and try to reach that point during the date rather than right at the end when you have time pressure, which can lead you to rush the process (plus she's already thinking of leaving at that point and therefore not so much in the mood).

She seems a bit argumentative and therefore low-interest. She's making up rules for you and putting obstacles in your path, which is what women do when they are not interested. When she meets a guy she wants to bang, she won't care how appropriate it is when he fingers her on the station platform.

I'd advise to avoid getting into arguments via text and just set up another date. Next time, escalate and try to make it happen during the date rather than waiting until right at the end.