"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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1st "date" didn't go quite as planned, now what?

HardLeftHook

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Ok, I randomly approached this girl at my college I've wanted to talk to for months, and asked her to lunch. She said yes, and we met up. I was a little more awkward than I had anticipated(no C&F), but she was pretty friendly throughout at least. I'm terrible with 1st impressions. She's taking the next semester off for monetary reasons, but will return the next. I guess, I'm wondering if I can turn it around, or are first impressions powerful enough to keep me trapped.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Onlyliveonce

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It is out of your control, let it go. The more you obsess and try to hookup with her the further you will drive her away. Let her contact you or it's over. No texts, calls, emails or "accidentally" bumping into her. Get another woman, then another. Then she will be back. Watch the movie Swingers.
 

tihash

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IIRC, in Swingers, the dude's LTR broke up with him.

If I am reading the OP correctly, he had one lunch date with this girl.

OP, if you don't call or text her, she will never call or text you. Ask her out again. On the next date, make it a night time date and make sure you try to kiss her.
 

Falcon25

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Hook,

Here are the people who go to lunches; COUPLES, GAYS, WORK FRIENDS

It was weird and awkward because one collegiate special magic potion was missing (alcohol).

Ask her for drinks. Show her your relaxed side. See what happens. Don't watch any movies. Just listen to this' ALCOHOL EQUALS SEX, FOOD EQUALS SLEEP. Be the fun guy. You can turn this around, but you have to be the fun, sexy, and cool guy. She is attracted to you, but just doesn't like you cause you are boring. DON'T BE BORING.
 

HardLeftHook

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wow haha these are very different responses I'll say this
1. I'm worried, by /asking out/texting/faceb'ing, I'll be nothing but an annoying orbiter. but....
2. I don't want to abandon this. I'm just not a fan of giving up. I'll still be seeing her almost everyday so i can at least try to build something.
3. Neither of us drink so that's out of the question
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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P

perseverance

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Mistake 1) You planned how the date should go.
Mistake 2) You are overanalysing the situation.

Dates are meant to be fun, they aren't mean to be perfect and having a few nerves is okay, but it's not okay to allow these nerves to dictate you. You need to exercise the art form that is self control.

First impressions count, but if you are overanalysing things and trying to come across as perfect what you are doing is sabotaging things for yourself. I would say leave this woman on the backburner and go on more dates with different women. Don't worry about scoring, just concentrate on building confidence. Confidence is the key to happiness. Truly confident people are happy people.

Never, under any circumstances analyse your dates afterwards, when you come home, take off your shoes, sit down and just zone out.
 
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