10 Years On

[Latinoman]

If you pick the RIGHT woman...then marriage is certainly a great compliment for a DJ that wants to focus on other areas of his life (such as his career, etc.).

But...the point is the same...you are still have more to lose than win. What you are actually doing is "complimenting".

Once again...take a look at the AOL survey that was discussed last night on MSNBC News (cable).

 

[azanon]

Wrong, she's simply looking for a HOT GUY, not security. She'd be happy if he could just pull his own weight at least - and not totally suck her dry. Although, even that is too much to ask for a HOT "K-Fed" GUY. Call it the Britney Spears syndrome...but this is a case-in-point of how much LOOKS alone MATTER to hot women these days.

I look great, but one of RT's attacks about me in that marriage thread was true; I could have benefited a lot from this website way back when. I'll admit right now i probably would have slept with twice the women i did with the wisdom i have now had i had it back when i was a teenager.

Looks helps, but DJ skills are invaluable too. Having both is/would be killer.

Oh well, i'm not crying over spilled milk. I'm implementing them now in my own special little way, and i'd rate myself as highly content in this area.

 

[Latinoman]

I could have benefited a lot from this website way back when.

Everybody over 30 in here would have had.

However...go to the General Forum and you would see some of the dangers too. That so much information + lack of maturity is the equivalent of self destruction too.

I feel this kind of information is wonderful for men over 21 years old that are about to either make a huge mistake or are ready to set their path. Certainly pefect for men in their mid 20s and 30s. And revigorating for men in their 40s and even 50s.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I could, if I wanted to, afford to have a maid clean my home & make my bed. I could have a laundry service come and wash (and press) my clothes, I could hire a lawn guy to come mow my lawn and pull weeds. I could probably even afford to have a personal chef and I can have Jiffy Lube change my oil too. I could afford all of this if I weren't married and childless.

What I'm saying is any domestic inconveniences are hardly a reason to get married. If you want to rationalize that into the bargain, hey, more power to you, but when I met my wife the LAST thing on my mind was whether or not she was proficient at folding laundry. I didn't marry a maid or a cook or a laundry specialist. First and foremost I want to bang my wife, a lot. It's the one condition men have - she's gotta be hot. This gets us into a lot of trouble of course, but its our imperative and anything else is just gravy after that. When I met Mrs. Tomassi I wasn't thinking "great, someone to help out with the bills", I wanted to tap that ass!

Now I should also add that I could afford to have most of these services perfomed for me right now too, but I don't. And the reason I don't is because I WANT to do them myself (with the eception of pressing my clothes). No one is going to do my lawn but me, that's my domain. I understand that not everyone can afford to take care of things at home, but that's part of self-sufficiency. If your highest aspiration is to marry someone to mother you and take care of your mess you've got no reason to be getting married. Your time would be better spent achieving goals that will enable you to afford to have someone do those things or to learn to do them yourself and get with as many women as you can possibly get after it with. It's nice to have clean clothes, but it's icing on the cake, not the cake itself. There are many internal rewards for being married to be sure, but I don't NEED a domestic assistant.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Wrong, she's simply looking for a HOT GUY, not security,..

I understand your reasoning, and to a degree you're right, because a woman in her 20's is going to have different priorities for sex than when she's older. However, the fact that this is a cycle for her spells out a search for a man who can master her inspite of her better than average ability to provide for herself financially.

Let me propose this then; why do you suppose it is that popular concept that "professional women" are so frustrated is due to them being unable to find someone who lives up to their standards? The high earning professional woman could very easily fall in love with a Subway sandwich artist, but that's an exception to the rule. They simply don't embody what they perceive as a "good catch", but they'll be happy to fukk the pool boy in the meantime while they wait for Mr. Right.

Women seek security from Men. Sometimes it's financial, emotional, familial, etc. and sometimes it may just be a pair of biceps around her and protecting her. It's primal.

 

[azanon]

I could, if I wanted to, afford to have a maid clean my home & make my bed. I could have a laundry service come and wash (and press) my clothes, I could hire a lawn guy to come mow my lawn and pull weeds. I could probably even afford to have a personal chef and I can have Jiffy Lube change my oil too. I could afford all of this if I weren't married and childless.

You mentioned your six figure salary, congradulations. I'm six figure with combined income, but i'll just be point blank; I couldnt afford to pay for all of that without making serious cuts elsewhere. So theoretical discussion is nice, but i question its value.

What I'm saying is any domestic inconveniences are hardly a reason to get married. If you want to rationalize that into the bargain, hey, more power to you, but when I met my wife the LAST thing on my mind was whether or not she was proficient at folding laundry. I didn't marry a maid or a cook or a laundry specialist. First and foremost I want to bang my wife, a lot. It's the one condition men have - she's gotta be hot. This gets us into a lot of trouble of course, but its our imperative and anything else is just gravy after that. When I met Mrs. Tomassi I wasn't thinking "great, someone to help out with the bills", I wanted to tap that ass!

I was thinking about any of that either when i married her, but realized these truths after the fact. So isnt it our responsibility to point out these added virtues of a great woman?

Now I should also add that I could afford to have most of these services perfomed for me right now too, but I don't. And the reason I don't is because I WANT to do them myself (with the eception of pressing my clothes). No one is going to do my lawn but me, that's my domain. I understand that not everyone can afford to take care of things at home, but that's part of self-sufficiency. If your highest aspiration is to marry someone to mother you and take care of your mess you've got no reason to be getting married. Your time would be better spent achieving goals that will enable you to afford to have someone do those things or to learn to do them yourself and get with as many women as you can possibly get after it with. It's nice to have clean clothes, but it's icing on the cake, not the cake itself. There are many internal rewards for being married to be sure, but I don't NEED a domestic assistant.

As i said above, i couldnt unless i made some cuts elsewhere i'm just not interested in making. I'm a big saver, so I'd hate to lose that. I dont want to lose my Direct TV. (etc).

But whether one can afford to pay for them or not, it doesnt change the fact that no one is going to do it for free. Its a benefit of a great woman no matter how you shake a stick at it.


We are sidetracking a bit thought. Lets deemphasize having your laundry done, and reemphasize once again, how nice it is/would be to have an extra 60K/year coming into the house (or more). This is the year 2007. Both men and women work now.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

But whether one can afford to pay for them or not, it doesnt change the fact that no one is going to do it for free.

Exactly. You'll be paying for it with or without being married.

And quite honestly you shouldn't want to have it done for you. I don't pay for any of what I just mentioned because I'm capable of doing it myself. I WANT to do it myself and when I do my wife and daughter appreciate it. Something funny I often think about while I'm pulling weeds or picking up dog sh!t in the back yard is how many guys like Mystery or other "famous" PUAs do this on a weekly basis? How often do Men do things we should? When's the last time we fixed our own damn car instead of having a mechanic do it? Or the lawn or the weeds, or taking out the trash? I tore out a bottle brush tree from my front lawn last week. I hated it and it was fukking GOING. How many 'regular guys' make certain areas of their lives their own? My wife stays out of the garage and my home studio, and the outside of the house. In return she can burn all the poppouree (sp?) she wants in the bathroom. She knows I like football and hockey and not to bug me when I'm working in my studio.

Too many guys are scared sh!tless that their wife will hold out on them if they don't identify with them completely. No amount of pvssy is ever worth losing your autonomy and identity for. In fact the more you identify with her the less she'll respect you. Whether she recognizes it or not she want to marry a Man not her sister.

 

[azanon]

Exactly. You'll be paying for it with or without being married

touche.

Even though i set myself up for that one, it doesnt change the fact that a "loser" man that is in a marriage not pulling his own weight could very well be the one getting the better end of the deal. Now i'm not saying i'm not pulling a lot of weight but dam*, my wife sats the bar pretty high for me from a competition standpoint (meaning who does more overall).

OK well, i dont want to argue in circles or rehash things we overkilled in that other marriage thread. You have some valid points and there was a lot of other good content in this thread. I just want to remind our fellows like you do too at times, that a marriage can be a great thing under the proper circumstances. That's all.

Azanon

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Good Post Latinoman.


The general discussion forum is ALMOST unreadable to me sometimes. And even the Tips section too, for that matter. But then again, I have to realize that everybody is on their OWN journey. I knew a hell of a lot before I came here about human nature----but now I undeniably know MORE.

There are many of the young'uns on Sosuave General Discussion who are loose cannons with bad aim. And actually, the same can be said over here about some of the veterans on the Mature Man forum too. lol

But all I try to do is respond to people who seem SERIOUS about wanting to elevate from where they are now to get to a BETTER place.

When I chart my own growth from just a year ago until now, it's amazing even to me. But I know I'm still only on the perimeter of GLORY ROAD, though. I have MANY more hills to take...

But back on the topic:

Azanon,

Here's some very UNSOLICITED advice. And please take it in the spirit of brotherhood that I offer it:

Be careful while you're on here, man. I would suspect that for a married man, there is a temptation to go along with the GROUP-THINK and to start second guessing your choices in life. To slowly drift into that "the grass must be greener over there" mindset. And I think that would be a mistake.

For those guys who are married, I think taking a closer look at your relationships and using whatever you learn here to BETTER your existing HAPPY marriage is THE WAY TO GO. And from reading your latest posts, I SEE that you are already doing this. And I commend you for it.

Marriages are as "individual" as the people who make that meaningful committment are. And if you are confident and fulfilled with the marriage decision you have already made, take PRIDE and COMFORT in it, I say.

Sometimes, quality, thought-provoking threads like these serve as a great tool for self-reflection. And remember, everything is NOT always jaded.

Always allow for the fact that the image of our current lives that we see reflected back at us sometimes----LOOKS PRETTY DAMN GOOD.:rockon:



Peace...one day.

 

[azanon]

Be careful while you're on here, man. I would suspect that for a married man, there is a temptation to go along with the GROUP-THINK and to start second guessing your choices in life. To slowly drift into that "the grass must be greener over there" mindset. And I think that would be a mistake.

If there exist any temptation, it would simply be the existence of other women and the desire to possibly act on that temptation. This is the same temptation all married men and women face. And it often has nothing to do with how content one is in a marriage.

 

[Latinoman]

I like this thread alot.

My girlfriend has been living with me for over 4 months now and it's been great. I really love her and she does a ton for me.

However, I'm still not sure when or if I'm ready to get married.

I do miss the game and sarging too. I think I miss some of the social aspects of being completely single. Maybe being a bachelor too long is the cause.

In any event, is it just me or are there a ton of guys out there who have no interest in marriage anymore? I dont quite understand it.

The whole comment about not allowing them to use sex as a weapon is huge.

I think my biggest thing is that I like sex with a variety of women and I miss this now that i have a girlfriend living with me, but when it comes to the personality and soul of a person, I wouldn't trade my current girlfriend for anyone. She is a total sweetheart

In another words...you made a huge mistake by moving in together. Especially when you are not going to marry within the next few months or are already married.