I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
#3 is a weakness of mine. I tend to be "short" with people initially. I don't do it on purpose. Like instead of chatting with the waitress or bartender or asking how they are doing FIRST, I just give my order. Once people get to know me, they like me, but initially they might be put off and think I'll rude or "all business." I'm really not like that at all.Sofomore said:
I tend to be very picky about who I become close friends with, and I value those people much, much more than any of the acquaintences I have. It's not so much that I dislike people, but I find most of them annoying. I think this is a big reason why I like having an exclusive LTR. I don't want five or more casual plate acquaintances around hanging around, because they're going to get on my nerves. Better to have a girl I actually appreciate and am close with. Just like I value my best friends.Sofomore said:
I wouldn't trade being an introvert for any money. In the US, people tend to want to worship the extrovert, but I would never want to be an extrovert. I don't want to have to depend on other people for my energy, for one thing.Sofomore said:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
(Atom, I´m just like you)Agreed.PapiChulo said:
No, it's only partly wrong. A lot of introverted types are disinterested in such things except for the ISTP which has this as one of their defining features.PapiChulo said:
Very very good point. However, I think as harsh and judgmental I am of others, I'm doubly so toward myself. Back in the day, I often found myself disappointed in people... most of all myself.Atom Smasher said:
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
This is a huge point that needs to be made. Most introverts are not natural public speakers, to say the least. With that being said, once they acquire that skill and confidence through practice, they make some of the best speakers around. Same goes for many musicians and entertainers. Many musicians, in particular, are song-writing geniuses right out the gate but need to gain the confidence to perform on a stage in public.NewAndImproved said:
wow nail on the head. i have that very bad.Atom Smasher said: