“You always come to mind in Feb”

[JonnyD123]

The girl that brought me to this forum over 4 years ago, texts me every year on my bday. Used to have major oneitis with this girl, and blew it majorly. I stopped responding last year, however this year I thought what the hell, and responded. She told me she thinks of me every February, and asked what I had planned.

She’s a beautiful girl, inside and out. Volunteers in the community, etc. Anyways... I’ve changed majorly since then, however I feel like she still thinks of me as the same old chump. Trying to maintain frame and not slip into what she remembers, but could use some tips.

 

[Couto]

My advice and this totally coming from a stranger on the internet and as such should be taken with a grain of salt seeing that this is how I would personally react to the situation. /end disclaimer.

Don't meet her. Don't, it is more likely going to end the same way it it did before. With it going nowhere because you feel like you ****ed up and end up with you feeling ****ty again by blowing it. You said she brought to this forum, that she was in a sense the source of motivation to change and become a better man. In becoming a better man there are things you need to let go and move on from, and this is one of them. Imagine, the girl you have major oneitis for and seem to still have feelings for thinks of you on February(near valentine's hm) and you deny her any potential re-entry into your life because you've quite simply been able to move on. Moving on is a powerful thing, it lets you have more control in interactions with people in general because you are the one willing to walk away. I personally would view this as an opportunity to advance in your game/life by being able to walk away and move on. This has nothing to do with being rude but like I said advancing forward in life and forgetting the past. You said she's beautiful inside and out, you think women like that reconnect with past chumps to rekindle old flames? With all the options she has now?

Bro you have to remember you're going to meet a bunch of women that you're going to be attracted to physically and mentally once you get to know them, and what happens is you realize there are a lot of girls you'll end up developing feelings for and the ones from the past don't seem so important, you'll realize the same feelings you had/have for her pop up again in a different female so there is no point to stress over this one.
You've already done right by ignoring her one year. Keep it up.

 

[marmel75]

Ignore her.

 

[MisterMike]

If you stop ignoring her does she pull away?

 

[Glassguy]

Its a breadcrumb. A simple "Thanks" is all you need to send.....if anything.

She is not calling you up on your birthday telling you that losing you was a big mistake and asking to take you out for your birthday to get you drunk and smash. She is simply just being friendly OR putting the feelers out there to see if you are still on the hook after all these years.

Dont give her any validation that she is seeking.

Her: Happy birthday. I always think about you in February
Me: Thanks
Her: So how have you been?
Me: Great. Thanks for asking

That's it. As soon as you pick up the breadcrumb she will pull away. Dont give her the satisfaction.

 

[The Duke]

Ask her if she has an automatic reminder set up to send you birthday wishes every year? This is just an attempt to validate herself. Prove to yourself that you are better, ignore her. Think of all the cruel things she did if that makes it easier.