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  1. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    I want to thank the folks that posted on this thread, particularly Colussus, Don S, Guru, and Squirrels. The takeaway for me is: - shorter dates, don't invest anywhere near so much time at first - qualify, don't be qualified - loosen up, be unfiltered, go off-road. - be...
  2. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    There are 30 days in a month. Probably not, as that isn't the case.
  3. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Guru - question: were you being literal when you said this? I mean, do you say - verbatim - "what separates you from the pack," etc.? Or were you speaking more figuratively? I'm just wondering how you deliver that kind of message on a first date?
  4. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    I appreciate that - I don't think I'm 'boring' per se, either. But - to Don S's credit - there's no getting around the fact that I'm *extremely* left-brained. Numbers rule my world, to an extent that is hard for most people to understand. It's hard to explain, but this makes it difficult...
  5. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Yeah, I've considered that too. Hurts to say it. I mean, it's like the hardest thing to change.
  6. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Well, if there is one thing I've learned, it's that if either party has to get on a plane, it's just not going to work. In fact, my rule of thumb is she has to be close enough to spontaneously be available for happy-hour after work without a huge amount of logistical pre-planning.
  7. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    As an experiment, I'm going to start capping the amount of time I spend on these dates. I'm going to try to keep it under an hour. For any number of reasons, you're right, I can't keep investing myself this heavily this often.
  8. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Since you asked... I'll pass on the pic, but will share a bit of backround info. I'm 6ft, 1in. caucasion male. Weight is a shade over 180, body fat is about 10%. Which is as non-arrogant a way as I can think of to say that, when compared to the general population, I don't think it's an...
  9. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Actually, it was fun at first. Now, it's like if a date tells me she can't make it (like she's really sick), I feel like I have the night off. It's become like a 2nd job or something. I'm not going on any dates this week, just reflecting on what I've been doing with this whole dating thing.
  10. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    This is another point. I wonder if I'm killing myself with the conversations that we're having. We'll spend 2 hours talking about everything. Music. Where we went to school. Friends/family. And they seem to really be into it. And I do the basics well - 'kino' very successfully, get a lot of...
  11. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    That's hard for me to hear, but it's a great point. And explains some things. This is great advice. When you put it like that, my closing/pursuit is sort of childish. This is not totally dissimilar from what I had been doing, in that I greatly prefer that they circle back to me first...
  12. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    I had been wondering about this. Right now, I'm trading a couple emails, and closing them on meeting up for a drink. But - you're saying that speaking to them on the phone is a good disqualifier. Something like that would be invaluable, and would save me a lot of time. What are you...
  13. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    Good questions. So, the answer is that my follow-up depends on how the date goes. If I'm attracted to her, we hang out for a couple hours, and have a couple drinks, and we make out, when we're parting ways, I'll ask her to do something. Either I'll tell her to shoot me her phone number...
  14. M

    low conversion rate after 1st dates

    So, I've learned a ton on this board, and put a lot of it to good use. I go on a ton of 1st dates. A lot of that traffic is from match.com. I'd say I go on about 15 'first dates' a month, and I do the basics very well. I'm frustrated with the number of women I end up seeing again after...
  15. M

    My GF is such a b1tch sometimes

    Obviously, options 1 through 5 were never his plan when he left his job to start his own business. That's the way it ended up. That's the way it often ends up when you try to start your own business. If he had never tried to start his own business, he would never have known how it was going to...
  16. M

    My GF is such a b1tch sometimes

    It came from you. You're busting on this guy for "leaving a job paying 50K in this economy." So what if he did? You say that "news flash: Most people hate their boss. Get used to it." No, they don't. People making $50k who hate their boss but don't leave their job don't do so because they...
  17. M

    My GF is such a b1tch sometimes

    With all due respect, I wonder if a 42-year old guy who thinks of $50k a year as 'big money' is much of a catch in the first place.
  18. M

    My GF is such a b1tch sometimes

    One thing I've noticed is how women act towards men who start their own businesses. If the business is not successful, or just starting up, or in some way not financially lucrative (which of course is the case in the beginning, and often for some time afterward), they often find this very...
  19. M

    Is this a fetish? Do I deny myself?

    There's actually some clinical data that's been collected on this. Visit: http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Paraphilias Fetishes affect different people differently. Take a look at their descriptions of normal, optional, and exclusive paraphilia. If she's gotta satisfy this requirement...
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