Cheeky_James
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2025
- Messages
- 1,070
- Reaction score
- 450
- Age
- 42
have you?I’m asking you if you have had trouble socially with sub tier looks.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
have you?I’m asking you if you have had trouble socially with sub tier looks.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I’ve struggled from time to time, but I’ve also never had a consortium of people tell me that I have substandard facial features as you have here. So I’m asking you if you think it’s possible that it shaped your worldview.have you?
no don’t think so.I’ve struggled from time to time, but I’ve also never had a consortium of people tell me that I have substandard facial features as you have here. So I’m asking you if you think it’s possible that it shaped your worldview.
So with substandard looks and your antisocial demeanor, what’s your secret to pulling women?no don’t think so.
PM me a pic of your face and I’ll tell youSo with substandard looks and your antisocial demeanor, what’s your secret to pulling women?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Did the woman who gave you feedback comment on your face and physical appearance? You posted she said you needed to "tone yourself down" (your vibe/energy) which I agree with, even YOU agree with!no don’t think so.
Im not comfortable doing that.PM me a pic of your face and I’ll tell you![]()
that particular woman said it wasn’t my physical appearance .Did the woman who gave you feedback comment on your face and physical appearance? You posted she said you needed to "tone yourself down" (your vibe/energy) which I agree with, even YOU agree with!
Also I don't recall where you ever posted a picture of yourself on the open forum, did I miss it?
How do folks know your face is sub-par, totally confused about that.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
^Fair point. So from this can we assume she found him physically attractive? Since she agreed to go out with him? And she simply didn't feel a sexual spark/chemistry on the date?there was a looks issue, you would not have went to the date to being with
yes. Exactly. The woman just doesn’t ‘feel it’.^Fair point. So from this can we assume she found him physically attractive? Since she agreed to go out with him? And she simply didn't feel a sexual spark/chemistry on the date?
Which happens. Often times there isn't even a logical reason, it just wasn't happening for her.
Except here she told him in so many words his vibe was too over-the-top... for HER. And to tone himself down.
Another woman might have felt differently.
Thats why it'a futile to even ask IMHO!
www.instagram.com
well your making some good points here.All I am saying is that sexual desire (which frankly is the thing I put the highest value on initially, although I do not act on it initially) is a multifaceted thing where looks contribute, but many other factors contribute equally or greater than looks. Sexual desire and sexual intimacy are the glue that bonds couples together and it is comprised of more than sex as a physical act.
Without sexual desire what's the point? Without that its just a friend thing, for me anyway.
Sexual attraction usually comes first but the rest of that stuff holds significance to the majority of women. Its why you struggle to get 2nd dates and one of your recent dates called you "transactional". The entire forum has tried to tell you multiple times that there is more to it than sexual attraction and looks.well your making some good points here.
but what other factors could come into it in the first few seconds of observing a man ..other than his Looks ?
(which would also include) ;
-His body language /confidence
-Whether he is an alpha or beta type of male.
-An impression of his social status
So firstly there is a sexual spark or sexual desire response from the woman that’s purely Looks based re the man. - Looks and how he is interacting and behaving (his perceived status) . Observed quickly. from afar.
then in the interaction it’s ,
- confidence in speaking
- intelligence and sense of humour
- proof of his status
- him making her feel she’s particularly of interest to him, is ‘unique’
- trading signals of interest back and forth/flirting
- taking next steps to physical intimacy
that’s about it re the process of a man and woman getting together right? Those other factors you mentioned after looks….
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
As is usually the case:Sexual attraction usually comes first but the rest of that stuff holds significance to the majority of women. Its why you struggle to get 2nd dates and one of your recent dates called you "transactional". The entire forum has tried to tell you multiple times that there is more to it than sexual attraction and looks.
Things that are observable immediately:well your making some good points here.
but what other factors could come into it in the first few seconds of observing a man ..other than his Looks ?
(which would also include) ;
-His body language /confidence
-Whether he is an alpha or beta type of male.
-An impression of his social status
So firstly there is a sexual spark or sexual desire response from the woman that’s purely Looks based re the man. - Looks and how he is interacting and behaving (his perceived status) . Observed quickly. from afar.
then in the interaction it’s ,
- confidence in speaking
- intelligence and sense of humour
- proof of his status
- him making her feel she’s particularly of interest to him, is ‘unique’
- trading signals of interest back and forth/flirting
- taking next steps to physical intimacy
that’s about it re the process of a man and woman getting together right? Those other factors you mentioned after looks….
And I keep saying you cannot make the call that it was ‘personality’ or ‘game’ .. until you read the womans date report / what she tells her GFs.. it may well indeed be just Looks simply. (Or Status & Money)Sexual attraction usually comes first but the rest of that stuff holds significance to the majority of women. Its why you struggle to get 2nd dates and one of your recent dates called you "transactional". The entire forum has tried to tell you multiple times that there is more to it than sexual attraction and looks.
thanks.Things that are observable immediately:
1. Appearance (looks/clothing/grooming)
2. Fitness level
3. Style (clothing/hair/grooming)
4. Voice and manner of speaking
5. Vibe
6. The way people around him act around him (do they defer, do they respect his personal space, do they ignore)
7. Gaze (does he hold eye contact)
8. Body language
9. Confidence (or lack thereof)
10. Engagement with others
I have met very attractive doctors, lawyers, businessmen, corp execs, entertainers, pro athletes.
One lawyer I had a date with could not conversate for anything (I wondered how he ever became a lawyer) but I suppose he was booksmart in his field. He was a sexy enough looking man, but his lack of conversational ability and lack of engagement made the date extremely boring and I was relieved when it was over. Whatever attraction was there at first vanished when I realized he was boring and awkward.
Its not good when a woman feels relieved to get away from you.
Another time I was dancing on the dance floor at a hip nightclub. An internationally famous recording artist came to the club after his touring show had finished in the local area. He had various security staff as part of his entourage. One of his security men approached me and wanted to bring me over to meet the artist. I'm nobody's groupie. I asked the security guy "Do his legs work?" and the security guy looked caught off guard and said "Of course." I said "Well then he can walk over here himself if he wants to talk to me." The security guard was surprised, and went back to the artist, who did not come over himself. So that was a turn off entirely. Be a man for crying out loud.
The artist likely wanted some hot girl to bang & toss, and that was not my jam at all. Some other chick can be a groupie. Not me.
Both the examples I gave were very attractive high status men. So yeah, looks are NOT everything nor are looks the most important thing. Sometimes looks are the initial thing - the admittance to being seen by a desirable woman. That's it. From there its everything else, and everything else matters!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.