Does personality even matter?

[Cheeky_James]

I wa contemplating this today before a date.
After a few duds dates lately. And now a 3rd did date tonite..(meh)
I post deets on my journal thread fyi.

I mean chicks know in a blink of an eye wether they feel physical chemistry or not.

and if they do, they will just mirror the guys personality anyway. And make it easy as p1ss for him. They will act in certain ways to make rapport , etc and pretend he’s so funny and interesting ..LOL.

Is all this game sh1t we debate really just a cope?
Like. Is it just a form of anxiety…?

Does personality even really matter .. for hookups most likely not at all ,
and for relationships.?. maybe even not really that much either possibly?, I mean the mask slips off women after x time period in a relationship anyway… we’ve all experienced that.

ive seen this written on some ex PUA blogs over the years. Guys that debunk Game completely and go BP. And I’m tending to agree w it more and more tbh.

brw I’ve just had a sh1t date and I’m a bit tipsy writing this. A bit annoyed but not at the chick tbh. She called it early so ..that was for the best.

opinions..?

 

[Mertz09]

Yes it does.

 

[Poonstra]

Does personality even really matter .. for hookups most likely not at all ,

Correct, but even with hookups I need to feel some level of connection.

and for relationships.?

It matters a lot, possibly more than anything.

 

[UK manc]

Yeah, definitely..

I'm wondering if the current difficulty you're experiencing is because of incongruity between sober you and then you after a few drinks over the course of your date...

It's very hard to stay a constant "personality" when you're drinking a few <- voice of experience!

Sometimes it works if you and her are on the same glide path with the alcohol on an evening, but maybe you're not managing to keep it in sync.

(Watch the weight gain too with the drinking)

 

[Cheeky_James]

Yes it does.

But where did we first get that idea though..?
From a WOMAN!

 

[Cheeky_James]

Correct, but even with hookups I need to feel some level of connection.


It matters a lot, possibly more than anything.

but.. how can I be correct if you then go on to say you ‘need some level of connection’?.
I mean.. the ‘connection’ is fake right ?
It’s just shmooze really. Yknow.. Insincere.
As it’s all just a ‘prelude to a fvck ‘ (as one girl once said to me)…

 

[Barrister]

It does matter. Quite a bit actually.

And I’m getting this from my own experience - not from any woman. And to be clear, your personality just needs to be confident and charismatic when speaking to them. Any combination of other characteristics are fine. Sure, you may get a lay just based off of her being horny and being physically attracted, but add in a man who can carry a conversation (when needed) and say just the right thing to be seductive and it makes a major difference in your success rate.

 

[Poonstra]

I said SOME, albeit al whole lot less then for a relationship. At least no active aversion

 

[Cheeky_James]

It does matter. Quite a bit actually.

And I’m getting this from my own experience - not from any woman. And to be clear, your personality just needs to be confident and charismatic when speaking to them. Any combination of other characteristics are fine. Sure, you may get a lay just based off of her being horny and being physically attracted, but add in a man who can carry a conversation (when needed) and say just the right thing to be seductive and it makes a major difference in your success rate.

I read a funny comment on a black pill video recently. The guy put it like this

“your face is your personality .. and your height is your confidence”

then another guy topped it with

“ faceonality and heightfidence”

those BP guys are f’n funny man…

and they may well be right (!)

I read another summary of attraction on Looksmaxxing.org

they reckon approach and personality ‘game’ accounts for about 10%.
Don’t anti-game and fvck it up basically.
again, they could be right …

 

[Clockwerk50]

The 4 factors of SMV are looks, money, status, and personality.

Different women, depending on their needs and wants, will prioritize different factors or put more weight on some than others. Either way, it's important to optimize all four factors because being deficient in any one of them can limit your dating options, and improving one factor can help compensate for weaknesses in another.

So, in short, yes, it matters.

 

[Cheeky_James]

@Bigpapa

hmm I almost bought into that but.. no.
I’m very calibrated with how I start touching and escalating. If the attraction is actually there from second 1 - that is not a problem. Because the woman can and do, course correct me and pace me however she likes it.

I have a strong hunch it may be something as per what Juggler talks about at the start in this video @2:35 and later also later on more indepth, Being “real” with women. And her need to connect to something “real”

I think this is the ‘connection ‘ thing women always raise as a ‘first step’ before sex.

A lot of women just seem to have to connect with something “real” first in the guy.

I think it makes them relaxed and possibly related to ‘safety’.
Or an anti-slut defence mechanism .
So their ASD and emotions are firstly satisfied and they can concoct a rationalisation that they are not a slut for fvcking a guy quickly. There was something “more to it” something “REAL”. Lolz.
Fulfills some kind of sexual need that’s for sure.
Turns on their brains perhaps .(most likely)
So their brains can sync up w their pussies .(!)
And then likelihood of enjoying the sex and having an Orgasm then increases significantly. Makes it much more likely probably. As I’ve noticed women need to be relaxed and feel there is zero threat to really let go in the sex.

There is something in this above linked to a phrase I’ve heard from a few women. “Vunerability is sexy”

I always reference that in chats as banter.
And the women always laugh in reaction,

my problem with the word ‘personality ‘ Is it’s just too broad and too vague.

 

[plumber]

personality matters. but mostly to you. personality is in your mind and its your view of the world. your view of the world radiates from you.

for her... she can see, hear, smell, and if your lucky feel you.

i am not a rock star... not even close. so for me there is a huge difference between when a woman selects me vs when i am making an effort to be selected. when she selects me i literally will have to refuse her to stop it... and i have foolishly done that before...

how to be selected vs how to convince her is a core difference in focus.

you have to interact with many to find the few that will select you. that doesn't mean you have to try to convince the others.

the closer you are to a rock star, the more that will select you.

 

[Gamisch]

What makes the fat guy/ the small Asian guy or the ugly black guy more successful than a vanilla middle down the road - not bad looking introverted man? Personality.

Ofcoure you can argue that "when all thing are equal " looks will be more important. But even in that case personality can be a more important factor.

Personality ( especially for men) needs development. Through trails and tribulations a man grows and creates character.

You remember the profile I've posted from dude asking for help on the dating apps. There are TONS of dudes like that, somewhat good-looking but they lack PERSONALITY. They call themselves "introverted " but it really means " I'm a bitchazz man who lacks the balls to go and get what I want and I hope that life will throw me a softball here and there".

 

[Cheeky_James]

What makes the fat guy/ the small Asian guy or the ugly black guy more successful than a vanilla middle down the road - not bad looking introverted man? Personality.

Ofcoure you can argue that "when all thing are equal " looks will be more important. But even in that case personality can be a more important factor.

Personality ( especially for men) needs development. Through trails and tribulations a man grows and creates character.

You remember the profile I've posted from dude asking for help on the dating apps. There are TONS of dudes like that, somewhat good-looking but they lack PERSONALITY. They call themselves "introverted " but it really means " I'm a bitchazz man who lacks the balls to go and get what I want and I hope that life will throw me a softball here and there".

Uhhh and where is the data that shows the former is more successful than the latter?
This is PuA myth speak no?
They are all equally as unsuccessful on dating apps afaik. Apps run on Sex Appeal dude…

edit;
For women the process is

(A) is he bangeable
(b) how is he gonna try get me /what’s his game

if his game is boring or he has antigame then he stalls out.

>He could be assertive & boss and cut to it = date
>He could show more personality , take longer and turn on her brain = date

so perhaps then it’s better to have longer interactions on the app and try really turn her on mentally .. as I used to previously ?

then it’s date -> escalate -> BANG lol.

Cos the personality has been ticked off.
she’s good to go by the date stage !

 

[Gamisch]

Uhhh and where is the data that shows the former is more successful than the latter?
This is PuA myth speak no?
They are all equally as unsuccessful on dating apps afaik. Apps run on Sex Appeal dude…

I'm sorry I should've clarified " the guy that is". The exception guy. So ofcourse generally speaking the fat guy won't be successful, but the fat guy that IS successful with women
and who makes people wonder why he gets hot women does so because of his vibe and personality.

There's no data backing this up because this is purely my observation. Data will actually ( logically) show the opposite. The fat guy, small Asian or ugly back guy won't be favored by data.

But real life isn't always possible to put in data.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I'm sorry I should've clarified " the guy that is". The exception guy. So ofcourse generally speaking the fat guy won't be successful, but the fat guy that IS successful with women
and who makes people wonder why he gets hot women does so because of his vibe and personality.

There's no data backing this up because this is purely my observation. Data will actually ( logically) show the opposite. The fat guy, small Asian or ugly back guy won't be favored by data.

But real life isn't always possible to put in data.

Ah .. that guy is a made up PUA myth dude .. don’t you know that?
In reality that guy has money and status.
there is no fat guys without M&S seducing hot women left and right with his killer vibe and personality . Twas a Myrh! All bullsh1t to sell courses.

Edit; unless this short fat guy was a dead set, top shelf, killer manipulator. For real.

there was no short , fat “dating coach’ or PUA that ever did that. They were all frauds.
And there’s no guys in real life either.

I had a short Brazilian wingman that was pretty fantastic at pulling, but he had a 9/10 face and was mega ‘cute’ and handsome. A lil BadBoy with flashy arm tattoos also.

 

[Cheeky_James]

what you are saying is not any different than what I am saying

to feel the “real” is through building rapport

Well yes.
But wtf does ‘building rapport ‘ or ‘rapport ‘ even mean specifically. These terms are too meta and vague imo. I have to look up the dictionary. lol.
—————-
Rapport is a close and harmonious relationship in which people or groups understand each other's feelings, share mutual trust, and communicate smoothly. [1]
—————-
So this = ‘personality’ ?
So
I have to
(A)signal I understand her feelings
example line;
“I understand. Yes . Yes, I get you. I see you”

(B)I share mutual trust
Example line;
“Yknow what ? I for some reason. I can’t put a finger on .. I feel like I can trust you, I really do. Honestly I do. I promise (lol) “

(C)I have to be able to communicate ‘smoothly’
Whatever ‘smoothly’ exactly means here.
I guess I have to have nice smooth transitions in convo from A -> B -> C
Example;
“ smooth witty transition line x,y,z ”

I mean, wasn’t all the game ‘methods’ of old trying to break this down step by step?

And then post pua or on this forum , that’s not recommended it’s just said as “duuudue, don’t use prepared scripted canned sh1t. just be normal and be real dude!” “Just build rapport w her dude”

but I just sketched out a prepared scripted checklist above. Based on the definition of rapport from the dictionary. Why wouldn’t work?

she doesn’t need authenticity, just the checkboxes of “being real” or “rapport “ ticked off. So she don’t feel guilty tmrw, for spreading her legs tonight. (lol)

I’m just trying to get into her knickers.
And she also wants me to , (if she feels physical chemistry from second 1 of course)

script it up I say!
And stick to the script!
Fvck improvising or winging it.
I wanna increase my odds and conversion baby!

 

[Gamisch]

Ah .. that guy is a made up PUA myth dude .. don’t you know that?
In reality that guy has money and status.
there is no fat guys without M&S seducing hot women left and right with his killer vibe and personality . Twas a Myrh! All bullsh1t to sell courses.

Edit; unless this short fat guy was a dead set, top shelf, killer manipulator. For real.

there was no short , fat “dating coach’ or PUA that ever did that. They were all frauds.
And there’s no guys in real life either.

I had a short Brazilian wingman that was pretty fantastic at pulling, but he had a 9/10 face and was mega ‘cute’ and handsome. A lil BadBoy with flashy arm tattoos also.

I think you misunderstood me.

The question is whether personality matters. It definitely does.

My examples first of all are from real life..I've seen plenty of again; ugly black dudes ( and white dudes or whatever race) ,small Asians and fat guys who pull women without any problems. This has ZERO to do with the Internet or PUA or whatever. Again ,real life. My own eyes LOL.

Matter of fact; eve i wondered what the hell was going on. I simply couldn't phantom that some women lobe confidence and that a confident man can Get away with shyte.

That why I keep saying that not everything is always possible to back up with stats. Some people defy the status quo and for the exception to the rule.

The type of men Im taking other making other wonder how the F he keeps getting these hot women while he doesn't look generally attractive. The anwer? Personality/ character/ vibe/ aura ect

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Cheeky_James

Personality doesn't matter in the slightest... Looks alone dictate a man's appeal and fate. Thus, Casper Van Dien remains a prominent star after all these decades, while Antonio Banderas faded into obscurity, sometime back in '96

 

[Cheeky_James]

I think you misunderstood me.

The question is whether personality matters. It definitely does.

My examples first of all are from real life..I've seen plenty of again; ugly black dudes ( and white dudes or whatever race) ,small Asians and fat guys who pull women without any problems. This has ZERO to do with the Internet or PUA or whatever. Again ,real life. My own eyes LOL.

Matter of fact; eve i wondered what the hell was going on. I simply couldn't phantom that some women lobe confidence and that a confident man can Get away with shyte.

That why I keep saying that not everything is always possible to back up with stats. Some people defy the status quo and for the exception to the rule.

The type of men Im taking other making other wonder how the F he keeps getting these hot women while he doesn't look generally attractive. The anwer? Personality/ character/ vibe/ aura ect

idk man.
“ugly black dudes ( and white dudes or whatever race) , small Asians and fat guys who pull women without any problems”

That’s pretty laughable of a statement tbh.

Are you talking they pull like ‘ once in a blue moon’ type deal?
bacause I never met one. Ever. And I went out gaming IRL .. a LOT . for YEARS back in the day.
Bars and clubs every weekend . That’s a myth mate. A PUA sales myth.

I did wing with this guy who was pretty great at pickup. He was an outlier guy tho with a special mix of edges . On top of a very solid handsome and youthful ‘cute face.’ He had great eyes also.
This guy in the pic.
With Flashy colourful arm Tattoos covered , for privacy reasons …lol. He was a BadBoy archetype guy.

I think you’re talking BS tbh. The old PuA myrh.
If the short , trained up COACHES/INSTRUCTORS couldn’t do it. It ain’t happenin man.

Any short guy that can , has a cute face that’s doing the heavy lifting afaics. And ime.

They are super FUN dudes yeah. But also very handsome dudes too conincidentally.
They manage to overcome stature with mad Fun Value but also .. they got FACE bro. And high in Alpha qualities too

Dis my lil mate. And he was mad Sleazy/sexual also. And extremely assertive and ‘boss’ . lotsa Alpha qualities. A very dominant guy for his height.

Edit;
if you guys are saying ‘personality’ = dominance /highly assertive and commanding. I could buy that as ‘personality’ . For sure.

But no one has said THAT yet.