Being valuable vs. being perceived as valuable

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
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Hey there!
Jhonny here!

I came across some videos by this woman.
She studies what women respond to, what they should avoid, and what qualities they should look for in a man.
She also talk about being in a good relationship.

In the video, starting from 9, She start to talk about the ideal qualities a good man should have:
Reliability, Financial responsibility, Vision + action, Humility and accountability, Emotional intelligence, Self-control, Security and stability

Good! But here’s the problem: How can women actually recognize these qualities in a man?

A man can genuinely have all these qualities, but if he has no way of showing them, he may be perceived as a loser. Meanwhile, another man can be average, or even fake these qualities, but have excellent “marketing” and be perceived as high value.
So, that only might explain a lot about relationships. A great product with bad marketing doesn’t get bought. A mediocre product with great marketing does.

I’ve experienced this mysel, and I'm pretty sure you too.
I was the same person internally, disciplined, mature, ambitious, but women seemed much more interested after visible “upgrades”:

Getting into a relationship → social proof
Improving my physique → halo effect
Buying a better looking car → status/financial competence
Growing my creative following → influence/fame

So women will experience emotions and feelings for a man who "SHOWS" he has these qualities, but it's as if they're incapable of understanding whether these qualities actually exist (consider how many women stay in bad relationships with a man who showed some qualities early on, and she hopes he'll change and show them again).
This means that women can't see these qualities, but they remember the feeling they had when that man pretended to have them, and showed to her.

Although there are exceptions. In fact, when I had enough one on one time with a woman, things usually changed.
Once she could experience who I was rather than judging me from the outside, that's when the attraction to me was born.
This is what should happen when a woman is truly attracted to a man and can't help it, regardless of whether he demonstrates certain qualities or not.

So:
Even tho people want to be rational, they don’t choose the person who has the best qualities.
They choose the person who provides the strongest evidence that they have them.
And so women do.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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