stepping away from this forum has given me time to reflect

[GoodMan32]

There's this idea among some members that I'm a troll, that I'm content with my current status quo with the ladies, etc

Nothing could be further from the truth

I've had a chance to reflect upon the past decade

Thinking back, there have been a number of instances in this past decade where a member of the opposite sex has thrown an "I want to end up in bed with you" cue at me. Yet even though my autism is mild enough I can sometimes read cues, the only way I'd know how to respond to a sex cue would be flat out asking her "Would you like to bang me?"

I have the self-awareness to know she's not going to respond well to being flat out asked like that. So that's why I sideline myself

Furthermore, even though I can sometimes read obvious cues, the more subtle non-verbal escalation cues you neurotypical men see (pupil dilation, slight changes in vocal tone, slight changes in body language, slight changes in eye contact, etc) are invisible to me

A common frustration among posters is the idea that I don't take their advice. Yet come to find out, a lot of the advice I've been given was given to me under false pretenses. A lot of the advice was given to me under the impression that I'm lacking in opportunities (and that I need to change myself in order to get opportunities)

As it turns out though, I have plenty of opportunity just the way I am.

Don't get me wrong, I am open to advice. Yet the key is for the advice to be realistic for my neurotype. Any advice that requires me to pick up on subtle non-verbal escalation cues is unrealistic for me. Expecting me to see subtle non-verbal escalation cues is like expecting a paraplegic to stand up, expecting a colorblind man to see a color his colorblindness prevents him from seeing, expecting a blind man to see period, etc

Just because my handicap isn't visually obvious like paraplegia or blindness doesn't change the fact it's a handicap

(and no, having a neurological handicap which blocks me from seeing subtle non-verbal escalation cues isn't the same as being unwilling to become better at seducing)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I see you are back to continue with a life of excuses once again.

 

[GoodMan32]

I see you are back to continue with a life of excuses once again.

A neurological handicap is an excuse?

Would you call a blind man an excuse-maker if he pointed out that he can't see at all? Would you tell him he can somehow learn to see if he puts in enough effort?

Because that's essentially what you're doing by insinuating I can somehow learn to see subtle non-verbal cues my neurological handicap renders me blind to

I thought my update would be positively-received

Yet seeing what bigoted pieces of sh1t you are, I don't want to be part of this forum anymore

 

[BaronOfHair]

@GoodMan32 "Any advice that requires me to pick up on subtle non-verbal escalation cues is unrealistic for me"

Good luck navigating relations with the human race then. As we've(by which I mean you and me specifically)have discussed prior, there's some evidence demonstrating that MOST of us men are, in some capacity, "autistic" https://reason.com/2007/09/12/could-it-be-that-all-men-are-a/ , just as there's evidence indicating most women are a bit borderline

All this really means is that to be human is to have internal demons to work through

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A neurological handicap is an excuse?

Would you call a blind man an excuse-maker if he pointed out that he can't see at all? Would you tell him he can somehow learn to see if he puts in enough effort?

Because that's essentially what you're doing by insinuating I can somehow learn to see subtle non-verbal cues my neurological handicap renders me blind to

I thought my update would be positively-received

Yet seeing what bigoted pieces of sh1t you are, I don't want to be part of this forum anymore

Sorry, I don't buy it, that this somehow makes you "incapable" of normal interactions.

What it means is that you just have to work harder to become good at it, just like someone who struggles in school at whatever subject has to work harder at it.

And like most of those kids you use it as an excuse to flunk the class instead of actually working harder to improve.

Yeah, it sucks, but that's life. Everyone has areas they need to work harder at than others. You can either make excuses or you can get results, and we already see what side of that line you choose to stay on repeatedly.

So, if in fact you are leaving the forum, I for one am not sad about it because all other people are learning from you is how to go about excusing their weaknesses away to continue having them.

 

[eli77]

Give me an example from a movie or documentary.

 

[plumber]

Just because my handicap isn't visually obvious like paraplegia or blindness doesn't change the fact it's a handicap

(and no, having a neurological handicap which blocks me from seeing subtle non-verbal escalation cues isn't the same as being unwilling to become better at seducing)

hmm... ok. i can see your argument. it has some merit...

now what are you going to do about it.

you can get some advice here. that advice is mixed bag; some good, some not. but will for sure give you food for thought. there are no PhD level neuroscientist here, if you want that level this is not the place.

if you really want to get improvement then its time to "think out of the box". if your situation is not working for you then i challenge you about your idea that you have lots of opportunity. for you; there is no opportunity because in your situation the law of chance would provide you some success. another man might do well in your shoes and his brain. for you its a no go. you really can not learn your way out of this, you must change the situation.

what do you want to change, the environment or yourself ? or both....

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Goodman,
I have a Son who is autistic,despite doing poorly at School,
he prospered and became a Diesal Mechanic,a millionaire in his thirties...You hang around and learn,In the Lords Garden many flowers grow,in this Forum
the more diverse and rich the backgrounds of its members,the more effective it becomes.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP you need high interest women who are willing to be obvious. Likely your "opportunities" are of the garden variety IOI's. Improve your appearance and those same women will be more willing to be obvious. The same advice applies - better clothes, work out. You only got laid 10 years ago because the game was much easier and you were also younger.

 

[BaronOfHair]

OP you need high interest women who are willing to be obvious. Likely your "opportunities" are of the garden variety IOI's. Improve your appearance and those same women will be more willing to be obvious. The same advice applies - better clothes, work out. You only got laid 10 years ago because the game was much easier and you were also younger.

As is the case with so many fellas, dude's problem with the ladies is really just symptomatic of difficulties being social/sociable more generally. Anyone who regularly hides behind justifications such as "So that's why I sideline myself", rather than speaking candidly("It's uncomfortable to get out of my comfort zone, and I'm less than thrilled by the thought of being wounded emotionally, even though this is inevitable... I'm allowing my own terror to cripple me")makes wearisome company

Cases like OP are almost certainly going to become more pervasive throughout The Post-Industrial West, as it becomes more possible to work almost entirely from home, and unnecessary to go into the office more than 1-2 times per year

 

[BillyPilgrim]

As is the case with so many fellas generally, dude's problem with the ladies is really just symptomatic of difficulties being social/sociable. Anyone who regularly hides behind justif

He's got a lower ceiling, practice won't improve him at the same rate as the socially-maladjusted neurotypicals

Although it would probably help some

A bigger bang on his buck would be military presses at the gym

Heck, OP doesn't even have to worry about wardrobe because everyone wears shorts and a T shirt summertime in Arizona.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP Billy Corgan can get away with narrow-ass shoulders because he's a rock star.

You are not a rock star.

Look how his head width is 2/3 of his shoulder width. Unbecoming. You can't become a guy who gets laid these days if you are unbecoming.

 

[BaronOfHair]

He's got a lower ceiling, practice won't improve him at the same rate as the socially-maladjusted neurotypicals

Although it would probably help some

A bigger bang on his buck would be military presses at the gym

Heck, OP doesn't even have to worry about wardrobe because everyone wears shorts and a T shirt summertime in Arizona.

I just rewrote the post you're replying to, clarified a few points. Yeah, though... He's got more pressing difficulties to work out

 

[plumber]

A bigger bang on his buck would be military presses at the gym

For sure. This is the number one thing and the most simple. Yes the gym will help the body, but... in many cases the chemicals activated by the gym in the body will dramatically help the mind. Times 100 for slight autist... It helps in ways a person can not understand as it actually unlocks understanding.....

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Plumber,
How extremely interesting,never ever considered or even knew this,The Boy I spoke of was and is a fanatical Gym Junkie,food for thought.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Plumber,
How extremely interesting,never ever considered or even knew this,The Boy I spoke of was and is a fanatical Gym Junkie,food for thought.

There's no need for the gym when you're bareback riding crocs during the Darwin floods.

 

[The Duke]

As is the case with so many fellas, dude's problem with the ladies is really just symptomatic of difficulties being social/sociable more generally.

When I first entered the singles world, I quickly figured out that my social skills weren't good enough. The only girls I could get were girls that were less than me looks wise. As soon as I improved those skills, I was able to attract better looking women. It was the single most rewarding improvement I made.

 

[BaronOfHair]

When I first entered the singles world, I quickly figured out that my social skills weren't good enough. The only girls I could get were girls that were less than me looks wise. As soon as I improved those skills, I was able to attract better looking women. It was the single most rewarding improvement I made.

It's long been said that thinking of this stuff as "game" was an error, and there's truth to that assertion... In most eras prior to ours, it was recognized that strengthening one's social intelligence https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_intelligence ( "The ability to understand and manage men and women and boys and girls, to act wisely in human relations" Robert Thorndike wrote those words, in 1920)was a key component of manhood. A fella who's weak in this department's likelihood of moving very far up the ladder + Remaining there are weaker than Megan Fox's chances of being hailed as one of our great thespians during the remainder of her life

Explanations for why developing SI fell out of fashion among blokes are no doubt complicated, nonetheless it's a fair bet... The rise of angst-ridden lone wolf action heroes in entertainment directed at male consumers (Much as we all love The Bond flicks, they were among the chief progenitors of this particular trend)have conned many lads into believing that all this securing allies and influencing people stuff is an anachronism

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When I first entered the singles world, I quickly figured out that my social skills weren't good enough. The only girls I could get were girls that were less than me looks wise. As soon as I improved those skills, I was able to attract better looking women. It was the single most rewarding improvement I made.

100%

At the end of the day, your social skills will be the thing that actually keeps the door open and not have it slam shut in your face.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He's got a lower ceiling, practice won't improve him at the same rate as the socially-maladjusted neurotypicals

Although it would probably help some

A bigger bang on his buck would be military presses at the gym

Heck, OP doesn't even have to worry about wardrobe because everyone wears shorts and a T shirt summertime in Arizona.

Yes, we have already advised him repeatedly to go to the gym based on him having a less than flattering physique from his pictures. Something that requires no human interaction, just hard work and effort.

Has he done it? I'm guessing no. Not to any meaningful degree at least I am willing to bet.