BPH
Master Don Juan
Holy dry spell...
I had some people ask me when I was going to post my next one of these, maybe assuming I'd been "active" but had just forgotten - nope.
4 months since my last new woman, 3 months since my last woman (my ex, who actually hit me up tonight, which I declined because I was exhausted from the night I'm about to describe), but who's counting?
HINT: Me, I am, because it was driving me nuts.
Refer to My Collection of L's to see what kind of BS I've been dealing with when it comes to women, then add another 3 or 4 points from the month since that was posted, and you'll have a rough idea of why this took so long...
This is the girl from this post: Women that want "submissive" men if you want a little background.
Starting from the beginning, this girl and I matched on Tinder exactly one month ago. Since then, she has come back and responded to my messages about a week late each time, 3 separate times. The thing is that she seemed like she was genuinely just bad at checking the app and was interested in me, but never kept tabs on it often enough to get to the point of me asking for her phone number. She had her first and middle name in her Tinder profile, so I thought I'd check Instagram and see if she was on there - which she was. So I messaged her; she responded, apologized profusely, and sent me her number. From that point onward (about a week ago), we started texting pretty regularly.
She was significantly better over text compared to Tinder; she would often double or triple-text, write long responses, react to messages, and send pictures. After a day or two of getting to know each other, we tried to solidify a plan for meeting up. The original idea was to meet up Sunday night, seeing as she works as a bottle/shot girl and wanted to work the busy Friday and Saturday nights.
Sunday night got pushed back to Monday night because she worked late, barely slept, and felt like she would be struggling during our date rather than enjoying it. I was understanding, she was apologetic, and we continued being flirty over text.
Monday night got pushed back to Tuesday night because her back was in a lot of pain (has to do with discs she herniated due to an unfortunate electrocution while saving her dog). Once again, I was understanding, she was apologetic, and we continued being flirty over text.
Now...Sunday into Monday night is when I created that thread about submissive men because she wanted to be up-front with me about some of the sexual stuff she was into, since the conversations we were having got more explicit as time went on. I was a little concerned about how she might try to treat me if she was expecting to be the dominant one. That thread got a lot of knee-jerk reactions to immediately "next" her, which you can read about if you want.
I'm glad I did not listen to those people.
Tuesday night finally rolls around, and she's excited to see me. I explained my living situation to her, which she was understanding of, so the plan was to pick her up and go to this date-night drink spot. She was quite concerned about the actual venue because she thought I'd picked out a place with bright lights, metal chairs, and feared she might be overdressed for what she thought would be a hipster vibe. I told her to have a little faith in me, and she submitted to that idea with an open mind.
I picked her up (she looked great) and drove us to a garage close to the venue. Now, I did this for a few reasons...First, I didn't want to worry about getting ticketed or towed for trying to street park at either the venue or at her place. Second, I didn't want to worry about potentially trying to drive back to her place and parallel park with an alcohol buzz. And third, and most importantly, I wanted it to be an easier transition from the bar to her place, assuming things went well.
They went well.
While walking her to the bar I did try to kiss her pretty early into the date. We had built up a good (and explicit) rapport, and since she mentioned not being a fan of PDA, I thought I would see how receptive she was before we got to such a public place. She rejected that, explaining that she doesn't want to just kiss me out on some random street at night - but she continued holding my hand as we walked and joked that "maybe I'd change my mind if you get me a little tipsy", so that was the most minor of speed bumps, and probably the only point of friction throughout the entire night.
The date itself went really well. We got to know more about each other, often while holding or playing with the other's hands. She took a lot of interest in me and was very happy that I was as attractive and normal as I presented myself online and over the phone. We opened with a shot, and maybe 2 hours and 3 drinks later, I suggested we go back to hers so I could meet her dog. She'd sent me pictures of him before - big Doberman, 130lbs, bigger than her.
She agreed. I told her I'd leave the car at the garage and ordered us an Uber, which is where SHE actually initiated the kiss on ME. We got to her apartment and very briefly walked her dog so he'd use the bathroom before bed. He's a very sweet dog, but he's also very much in our business the entire time, and is quite spoiled - as in, he is constantly trying to get her attention and/or get between us. Never in a defensive or aggressive manner, but I'd be lying if it weren't a little annoying.
She pours us some wine, we put on a movie, and make out on and off on the couch, often being interrupted by her dog. I forget which one of us made the suggestion to transition to her bedroom, but this is where she formally invited me to spend the night, which she phrased as "having a sleepover".
It takes a fair bit of time for her dog to calm down enough for us to get alone time in bed without him jumping up or interrupting, but it eventually does happen. She's receptive, but also has some concerns; she liked meeting me and doesn't want to be a one-night stand, and also hadn't had sex in a while. I reassured her that it had also been a little while for me, and that I'd definitely want to see her more than once, joking that "unless you're terrible in bed" which got a laugh.
Anyway, fast forward, and we ended up having sex 4 times last night, then a 5th time today before I left. She was a lot of fun...very attractive, very enthusiastic, and very easy to please many, many times over. She remarked that she thought I was attractive and would probably be a fun time, but didn't expect me to be THAT fun.
Here's the fun part...remember how I was concerned about her commenting that she liked submissive men and enjoyed being a dominant woman?
She's told me 3 times now - 2 times in person, once over text - that she's used to being sexually dominant in the bedroom, but was surprised at how much she enjoyed being submissive to me, and is interested in seeing how that evolves with more time and trust, stating that she learned something new about herself with me.
We passed out at around 6 or 7 AM and only got about 3 hours of sleep before she had to wake up to let maintenance in. I stayed in bed for a while, nursing a slight hangover along with hunger and sleep deprivation. Once she was finished with that business, she came back to bed with me, and we went to sleep for a few more hours before I decided I needed to start getting ready to head home. We had sex one more time before I got dressed, had her kiss me goodbye, and met my Uber to take me back to the garage so I could drive home.
I texted her when I got home safely that I had a great time, and we are both very interested in seeing each other more.
Alright, so what do I think are the key takeaways here?
I had some people ask me when I was going to post my next one of these, maybe assuming I'd been "active" but had just forgotten - nope.
4 months since my last new woman, 3 months since my last woman (my ex, who actually hit me up tonight, which I declined because I was exhausted from the night I'm about to describe), but who's counting?
HINT: Me, I am, because it was driving me nuts.
Refer to My Collection of L's to see what kind of BS I've been dealing with when it comes to women, then add another 3 or 4 points from the month since that was posted, and you'll have a rough idea of why this took so long...
This is the girl from this post: Women that want "submissive" men if you want a little background.
Starting from the beginning, this girl and I matched on Tinder exactly one month ago. Since then, she has come back and responded to my messages about a week late each time, 3 separate times. The thing is that she seemed like she was genuinely just bad at checking the app and was interested in me, but never kept tabs on it often enough to get to the point of me asking for her phone number. She had her first and middle name in her Tinder profile, so I thought I'd check Instagram and see if she was on there - which she was. So I messaged her; she responded, apologized profusely, and sent me her number. From that point onward (about a week ago), we started texting pretty regularly.
She was significantly better over text compared to Tinder; she would often double or triple-text, write long responses, react to messages, and send pictures. After a day or two of getting to know each other, we tried to solidify a plan for meeting up. The original idea was to meet up Sunday night, seeing as she works as a bottle/shot girl and wanted to work the busy Friday and Saturday nights.
Sunday night got pushed back to Monday night because she worked late, barely slept, and felt like she would be struggling during our date rather than enjoying it. I was understanding, she was apologetic, and we continued being flirty over text.
Monday night got pushed back to Tuesday night because her back was in a lot of pain (has to do with discs she herniated due to an unfortunate electrocution while saving her dog). Once again, I was understanding, she was apologetic, and we continued being flirty over text.
Now...Sunday into Monday night is when I created that thread about submissive men because she wanted to be up-front with me about some of the sexual stuff she was into, since the conversations we were having got more explicit as time went on. I was a little concerned about how she might try to treat me if she was expecting to be the dominant one. That thread got a lot of knee-jerk reactions to immediately "next" her, which you can read about if you want.
I'm glad I did not listen to those people.
Tuesday night finally rolls around, and she's excited to see me. I explained my living situation to her, which she was understanding of, so the plan was to pick her up and go to this date-night drink spot. She was quite concerned about the actual venue because she thought I'd picked out a place with bright lights, metal chairs, and feared she might be overdressed for what she thought would be a hipster vibe. I told her to have a little faith in me, and she submitted to that idea with an open mind.
I picked her up (she looked great) and drove us to a garage close to the venue. Now, I did this for a few reasons...First, I didn't want to worry about getting ticketed or towed for trying to street park at either the venue or at her place. Second, I didn't want to worry about potentially trying to drive back to her place and parallel park with an alcohol buzz. And third, and most importantly, I wanted it to be an easier transition from the bar to her place, assuming things went well.
They went well.
While walking her to the bar I did try to kiss her pretty early into the date. We had built up a good (and explicit) rapport, and since she mentioned not being a fan of PDA, I thought I would see how receptive she was before we got to such a public place. She rejected that, explaining that she doesn't want to just kiss me out on some random street at night - but she continued holding my hand as we walked and joked that "maybe I'd change my mind if you get me a little tipsy", so that was the most minor of speed bumps, and probably the only point of friction throughout the entire night.
The date itself went really well. We got to know more about each other, often while holding or playing with the other's hands. She took a lot of interest in me and was very happy that I was as attractive and normal as I presented myself online and over the phone. We opened with a shot, and maybe 2 hours and 3 drinks later, I suggested we go back to hers so I could meet her dog. She'd sent me pictures of him before - big Doberman, 130lbs, bigger than her.
She agreed. I told her I'd leave the car at the garage and ordered us an Uber, which is where SHE actually initiated the kiss on ME. We got to her apartment and very briefly walked her dog so he'd use the bathroom before bed. He's a very sweet dog, but he's also very much in our business the entire time, and is quite spoiled - as in, he is constantly trying to get her attention and/or get between us. Never in a defensive or aggressive manner, but I'd be lying if it weren't a little annoying.
She pours us some wine, we put on a movie, and make out on and off on the couch, often being interrupted by her dog. I forget which one of us made the suggestion to transition to her bedroom, but this is where she formally invited me to spend the night, which she phrased as "having a sleepover".
It takes a fair bit of time for her dog to calm down enough for us to get alone time in bed without him jumping up or interrupting, but it eventually does happen. She's receptive, but also has some concerns; she liked meeting me and doesn't want to be a one-night stand, and also hadn't had sex in a while. I reassured her that it had also been a little while for me, and that I'd definitely want to see her more than once, joking that "unless you're terrible in bed" which got a laugh.
Anyway, fast forward, and we ended up having sex 4 times last night, then a 5th time today before I left. She was a lot of fun...very attractive, very enthusiastic, and very easy to please many, many times over. She remarked that she thought I was attractive and would probably be a fun time, but didn't expect me to be THAT fun.
Here's the fun part...remember how I was concerned about her commenting that she liked submissive men and enjoyed being a dominant woman?
She's told me 3 times now - 2 times in person, once over text - that she's used to being sexually dominant in the bedroom, but was surprised at how much she enjoyed being submissive to me, and is interested in seeing how that evolves with more time and trust, stating that she learned something new about herself with me.
We passed out at around 6 or 7 AM and only got about 3 hours of sleep before she had to wake up to let maintenance in. I stayed in bed for a while, nursing a slight hangover along with hunger and sleep deprivation. Once she was finished with that business, she came back to bed with me, and we went to sleep for a few more hours before I decided I needed to start getting ready to head home. We had sex one more time before I got dressed, had her kiss me goodbye, and met my Uber to take me back to the garage so I could drive home.
I texted her when I got home safely that I had a great time, and we are both very interested in seeing each other more.
Alright, so what do I think are the key takeaways here?
- Be open-minded, and judge women by their actions and not just their words. Several members in that other thread read it and suggested I "next" her, that she must be crazy, that she would be abusive and disrespectful, and even implying that she might try to peg me. If I had taken their advice, I wouldn't have had such a fantastic night.
- Dating apps are good to have (especially if you're attractive), but should not be relied upon. A lot of this worked because I was attractive enough to stand out, and I had simply been playing the numbers game long enough to succeed. I get dozens of matches, most of which amount to absolutely nothing. Just because this LR came as a result of a Tinder match should not lead you to believe it is that easy.
- Be good in bed. I remember reading @BackInTheGame78 replied to someone's thread recently, something along the lines of "you can be the best she's ever had in bed", in response to a thread that I think had something to do with "what more can we give women" or something. Anyway, the point is that this is a skill you can learn just like any other. Being a good kisser, knowing how to properly finger, knowing how to eat pu**y, knowing various positions. I think this is largely why she was comfortable NOT being in the dominant position with me - because I was confident in my abilities in bed and delivered.
- Be normal. This is basically a superpower these days because so many guys are f***ing weird...I'll give you an example: That maintenance guy that visited her apartment today; she told me that he got her personal phone number from the shared apartment group chat with her landlord and privately contacted her after that visit to ask her on a date. Being normal, being confident, and generally mirroring the energy she gives you is often the best way to build comfort while also moving the conversation in the direction you want it to go.
Interesting what happened with the sex after all her dominance talk. .good stuff on having it your way .
