"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Rookie mistakes

Novice1

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2026
Messages
17
Reaction score
8
Age
22
Location
Philippines
Here's some context.

After reading books from Rollo, Pook, Roger Currie, Sosuave guide, Watching keys to the VIP and, Im still stuck. Aside from getting a date online -i still want to prioritize approaching women. Rejection is better than regret, but when i think of approaching 8-10HB i got stiff. i think this is normal but comment down some rookie mistakes for me to avoid and internalize
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,912
Reaction score
19,213
Start by approaching anyone and talking to them. Old people, guys, women you aren't attracted to etc...

You don't start doing something by doing the hardest thing first, you build up to it.

If you just started climbing mountains, would you immediately try to climb Mt Everest? Of course not. You'd start with a small one and then gain experience with that and move your way up. Eventually with enough experience you could then look to climb the bigger mountains.

This is the same thing. You froze because you tried to climb Mt Everest before you even climbed a 1,000 foot mountain a few miles away from your house.
 

Novice1

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2026
Messages
17
Reaction score
8
Age
22
Location
Philippines
Start by approaching anyone and talking to them. Old people, guys, women you aren't attracted to etc...

You don't start doing something by doing the hardest thing first, you build up to it.

If you just started climbing mountains, would you immediately try to climb Mt Everest? Of course not. You'd start with a small one and then gain experience with that and move your way up. Eventually with enough experience you could then look to climb the bigger mountains.

This is the same thing. You froze because you tried to climb Mt Everest before you even climbed a 1,000 foot mountain a few miles away from your house.
okay sir. thank you!
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,895
Reaction score
2,968
Location
Wilmington, DE
My suggestion is to start with a canned pick-up line so you at least know what you're going to say and don't freeze at the very start.

@BackInTheGame78 's advice is good, but I would also suggest approaching attractive women that you're interested in. I believe exposing yourself to the actual situation you want to be in is the best preparation for that situation - it's like shooting a gun; you can play as much Call of Duty and do as much dry fire as you want - it still won't prepare you for when you fire a live round.

Get good at that part, and it will become easier over time. When you no longer worry about getting rejected or looking foolish, it becomes a lot easier to have conversations with attractive women.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,912
Reaction score
19,213
My suggestion is to start with a canned pick-up line so you at least know what you're going to say and don't freeze at the very start.

@BackInTheGame78 's advice is good, but I would also suggest approaching attractive women that you're interested in. I believe exposing yourself to the actual situation you want to be in is the best preparation for that situation - it's like shooting a gun; you can play as much Call of Duty and do as much dry fire as you want - it still won't prepare you for when you fire a live round.

Get good at that part, and it will become easier over time. When you no longer worry about getting rejected or looking foolish, it becomes a lot easier to have conversations with attractive women.
Sure, but exposing yourself before you are ready to be exposed would be like firing a gun and having it backfire and hit you with the bullet.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: BPH

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,536
Reaction score
11,481
I used to practice talking to attractive women at the $trip club. It was the only place I could talk to lots of attractive girls in the course of a night. Once they were at my table, my goal was to keep them there as long as possible with out spending any money. I did that thru conversation and being interesting and fun to talk to. You eventually figure out the basic recipe and what works and what doesn't. I had some very interesting conversations about all sorts of things. $trippers are pretty easy to talk to and most are pretty open.

I took what I learned there, and applied it to girls in regular bars.

Always talk to everyone. Guys, the staff, etc. It helps with social proof, and of course increases your skills.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
3,895
Reaction score
2,968
Location
Wilmington, DE
Sure, but exposing yourself before you are ready to be exposed would be like firing a gun and having it backfire and hit you with the bullet.
At least then you know what problem you'd need to solve lol.

EDIT: Better analogy...it would be like playing putt-putt versus regular golf. They both develop the right skill set, but one doesn't adequately prepare you for the other.
 
Last edited:
Top