"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Archetypes

UK manc

New Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2026
Messages
2
Reaction score
2
Age
43
Hi, first post, although I've been around before years ago. It kinda feel like I need a "refresher course"..all the knowledge is there somewhere but struggling to apply it again.

In the UK there's a real common archetype bloke this decade that gets partnered up:
- 5'9" ish
- tattoos
- on and off gym (mostly off) so a bit of added muscle but poorly optimised and chubby
- looks like he needs a shower
- manual labourer
- using debt to get an Audi/BMW/Mercedes + more tattoos
- drinks every weekend, likely some drugs too
- always angry/aggressive
- untidy stubble or beard

I think I'm coming across a bit incongruous to a lot of women..

- 6'2"+ heavy weights 3-4x week
- very lean (you could say ripped)
- no tattoos
- laid back (probably too chilled)
- clean shave every 4 days
- no drink, smoking or drugs (the no booze is a big thing socially in UK)

It seems birds now expect a gym build to be associated with tattoos, "hard-living" and that whole aggressive gymtard persona.

Maybe I come across as married or cucked..dunno.

Hello anyway :up:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,391
Reaction score
5,133
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
How is your hair? Assuming full hair…

Maybe stay clean shaven and no tats, but grow out your hair and get a longer, thicker more sexy hairstyle.

Be the tall “pretty boy” rather than the shorter edgy bad boy.

Your body sounds like it’s totally on point, so I would be thinking about hair and clothes.
 

Westminster

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2023
Messages
449
Reaction score
579
Age
60
Hi, first post, although I've been around before years ago. It kinda feel like I need a "refresher course"..all the knowledge is there somewhere but struggling to apply it again.

In the UK there's a real common archetype bloke this decade that gets partnered up:
- 5'9" ish
- tattoos
- on and off gym (mostly off) so a bit of added muscle but poorly optimised and chubby
- looks like he needs a shower
- manual labourer
- using debt to get an Audi/BMW/Mercedes + more tattoos
- drinks every weekend, likely some drugs too
- always angry/aggressive
- untidy stubble or beard


I think I'm coming across a bit incongruous to a lot of women..

- 6'2"+ heavy weights 3-4x week
- very lean (you could say ripped)
- no tattoos
- laid back (probably too chilled)
- clean shave every 4 days
- no drink, smoking or drugs (the no booze is a big thing socially in UK)

It seems birds now expect a gym build to be associated with tattoos, "hard-living" and that whole aggressive gymtard persona.

Maybe I come across as married or cucked..dunno.

Hello anyway :up:
I laughed out loud at your description of the archetypal Brit. It's so true.

I'm not as tall as you but I also live in the north of England and I'm in good nick, clean living, no tattoos or any of the other nonsense you mention, and somehow you just feel out of place nowadays. It's mad really!

ps. Welcome aboard.
 

UK manc

New Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2026
Messages
2
Reaction score
2
Age
43
How is your hair? Assuming full hair…

Maybe stay clean shaven and no tats, but grow out your hair and get a longer, thicker more sexy hairstyle.

Be the tall “pretty boy” rather than the shorter edgy bad boy.

Your body sounds like it’s totally on point, so I would be thinking about hair and clothes.
Balding but not bald, so I use the closest clippers every three or four days. It then fades well into my (very short) stubble after one day of face shaving. Jason Statham ish I suppose. There's some greying too so the clippers and clean shaving hide that.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,748
Reaction score
9,942
It seems birds now expect a gym build to be associated with tattoos, "hard-living" and that whole aggressive gymtard persona.
Maybe I come across as married or cucked..dunno.
Screw 'em. Be what you want. You may not attract as many, but you'll attract a higher quality woman.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Arete

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2026
Messages
55
Reaction score
40
Location
Europe
I think I'm coming across a bit incongruous to a lot of women..

Very relatable. Sometimes it's like I'm the only big guy at the gym without tattoos and a chill personality. Depending on the person, I feel like I'm making wildly varying types of first impression. Ranging from "nice guy" to "dangerous." More often than not, it's an extreme of either.

To me, being muscular without all this wannabe stuff is the obvious choice in life.

I wonder if perhaps this archetype is not as attractive for average modern women as it should be. Like attracts like maybe? However, HB7 and upwards, especially if she had a good upbringing, finds these traits noticeably more interesting, as far as I can tell.

Balding but not bald, so I use the closest clippers every three or four days. It then fades well into my (very short) stubble after one day of face shaving. Jason Statham ish I suppose. There's some greying too so the clippers and clean shaving hide that.
I'm a natural who doesn't even do creatine and other supps. I'm not the most ripped guy and also not the most massive guy. But I got like 70-80% of both sides and also a hairline that I barely see anyone else at my age in the gym.

My jawline is also quite nice, cutting out salt and eating clean goes a long way, in my opinion. Salt and creatine make you appear bigger, sure. But everyone forgets the obvious part that it also makes the head "bigger" too.
 
Last edited:

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,513
Reaction score
11,401
The fact that you start out comparing yourself to others is a concern. That's the first thing I would work on. It speaks volumes about who you are.
 

plumber

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2022
Messages
997
Reaction score
834
if you look good and are good, then the missing is opportunity. how is your list of male friends... are you in some social circles. try to help some of your friends in topics your good at. for example, teach your out of shape friend how to gym... teach your gym friends how to (whatever else your good at). provide value to others that has only small cost to you. this creates the view that your a leader. women love leaders.
 
Top