My Collection of L's

[BPH]

Are you tired of reading posts from people asking for advice only to not take it?

Are you tired of reading black pill articles and theorycrafting from people who never go outside?

So am I.

I actually had a couple of forum members reach out to me privately via DMs and ask if I was doing ok, and if I was still active, since I hadn't posted a new LR in some time. Unfortunately, I do not have a new LR to post, as my recent luck has been almost comically bad. I had that hot streak back in May, and even then I remarked that such volume was unusual, and that I expected that trend to course-correct - which it has.

I decided it might be fun to mix things up and let you read about the experiences from somebody who actually leaves the house and talks to women. I'm sure there are a lot of guys who lurk here and assume my success is obvious because I'm a good-looking guy - I would know; they're my clients. But I think that does a bit of a disservice to the amount of failure I go through between successes, and paints a bit of an unrealistic picture to those who see over 100 lay reports and believe it comes easy for me.

I've got some time to kill here, and I'm just going to look through my phone here and list these women in roughly chronological order, working backwards, so we can have a bit of a laugh at my expense:

1. Matched with a girl on Tinder the other day. Had a short conversation before I asked if she had an Instagram. Seems she unmatched me.
2. Went up to Philly for a friend's birthday and ended up at the bar by myself again. Really gorgeous girl with some friends I saw around closing time. Approached her, hit it off; turns out she was there for her friend's birthday and was clearly already drunk. Took her number. Went home empty-handed, and she started texting me at about 4 AM. Turns out she went all the way back home to Haddonfield. We texted back and forth for the next hour and a half and made tentative plans for Wednesday night before she fell asleep. She "liked" my message in the morning, so I texted her that I was looking forward to Wednesday; no reply. Texted her yesterday to confirm she would be free tonight; no reply. Texted her earlier tonight; no reply.
3. Met another girl that same night at that same bar after talking to the first one. She was downstairs with her friend and kept looking over at me, so I made an introduction. Again, we hit it off, and I got her number. When I asked her when she would be free, she told me she would be in Miami next weekend, so we would have to plan for 2 weekends out. I assume this will fizzle out by then, but I'll update if that changes.
4. The night before, I went to a local bar and recognized a cute girl who used to work at the same gym I worked at way back when. Started chatting with her, seems she was here with her friends, who were the survivors of one of that friend's sister's birthday parties. Drank a little, chatted a little with her and her friends; everything was going really well, so I got her number on the way out. It was only after I texted her that she told me she had a boyfriend...to be fair, I could've done better and asked her if she was single during our conversation, but she was flirting back, so I thought it was obvious.
5. Last weekend I went up to Philly again with a friend, but ended up alone at the same bar from earlier. Met this really gorgeous girl who was there with her friend and that friend's guy. We grabbed a drink, hit it off, and made some conversation before the bar closed, and I left with that group. The friend seemed like she was pushing for us to be a thing, more than my girl had any interest in, which was made more apparent when a random drunk guy came over and started hitting on her. The girl looked to me first, but then engaged with the guy anyway. The friend was urging me to swoop in and save her, and I just told her that she's an adult and she's making her decision. She would later lie and tell me he was a cardiac doctor or surgeon, and wanted to see if he had any tips since she was in the medical field. I got her number but never heard from her after she and her friend left in their Uber.
6. The weekend prior, I went with one of my buddies up to West Chester, where we met these two girls who seemed interested in us. Apparently, he had offended his girl because, while paying for her drink, he made some sort of remark that implied she couldn't afford it. I grabbed my girl's number before they both left, and we texted back and forth for a little bit, but she stopped replying before we made any plans.
7. That same night, my buddy wanted to get some food when the bars closed. While waiting for our Uber, we met some girls and made a little idle chitchat. The girl I was talking to was cute, and she seemed interested in me...up until she asked how old I was. She was nice about it, but told me that she had just turned 21 and that I was a little too old for her.
8. Matched with a hot but ditzy girl on Bumble. That didn't work out because she told me she was worried that I might secretly be gay...an observation she seemingly made based on my old modeling photos on my Instagram. This is despite the fact that I got her number and offered to come over the night I matched with her, so, yeah...I don't know what that's all about, but I stopped bothering her when she used that excuse more than once.

To be continued...

 

[BPH]

I guess I can't continue the previous list and have to start back at 1...oh well...

1. You can read THIS for the full story, but basically, I was about to bring a girl home when her friend got a call from her boyfriend that he had been cheating on her and was breaking up with her. That friend went into hysterics, and she had to leave with her to calm her down.
2. From that same story, I'd met a different girl the night before who was there celebrating her birthday, and I got her number. She ended up meeting me at Seacrets the same night as the girl above, but when it became clear she intended to use me for drinks rather than because she was interested in me, I quickly left her, which is when I met the above girl.
3. Again, from that same story, I approached a bridesmaid as I was leaving Seacrets with my guys and had her friends dogpile the interaction, one of whom physically pushed me back, saying, "Absolutely not, we are leaving". This one was particularly unfortunate because the girl I wanted to talk to was actually really receptive and sweet.
4. The week before, again, same story, I was in Ocean City with my family and met a girl on Thursday night. We hit it off and ended up making out a whole bunch. I thought it was a done deal and invited her to come back with us (my brother and I), but she said she had to leave with her friend and that I couldn't come over because they were staying with her grandma. I got her number, and the plan was to see her at the same place on Friday night. We found each other that night, her being much more drunk than the night before, along with an entourage of girls and guys, in addition to her girlfriend who was there the prior night. Two of the guys questioned me. Turns out one of them is that girl's boyfriend and wanted to know if she cheated on him. He wasn't upset with me, and I wasn't going to press the issue to find out the truth, so I left that situation.
5. I'd actually forgotten to include this girl in that report, but I met somebody Wednesday night as well. When I go on vacation, I use one of the local gyms, and this cute girl approached me, recognizing me from the gym. We got to chatting and ended up making out for a while. She was there with friends who were planning on leaving, but she gave me her number and told me she would probably be out at Seacrets one of the next two nights after she got off work. Both nights, she texted me that she was too tired, and I didn't see her again after that.
6. Near the end of June, I met this girl on Tinder who lives up in Philly. We had a really great first date, plenty of making out, getting touchy-feely - but she wasn't ready for sex quite yet, despite teasing the hell out of it. She wanted me to come up to Philly for the 4th of July for this big day party, to which I agreed. However, that day, for a multitude of reasons, I was quite depressed and didn't feel like spending all day drinking in 100-degree heat, so I apologized and cancelled. She REALLY didn't take that well and exploded at me, which I thought was a bit ironic, considering she made a big deal about how emotional vulnerability was important to her. Anyway, we sorta reconciled after she apologized, but I slowly lost interest and stopped talking to her completely not long after that.
7. Philly was hosting Brazil for the World Cup game earlier in June, and I was out with my buddy and his fiancée. The bars were absolutely packed, and I ended up meeting this really beautiful Brazilian who used to model. The funniest thing was that she spoke Portuguese but was not fluent in English, so I literally communicated using Google Translate on my phone at this bar. Things are going really well, and we spend plenty of time making out before she invites me to her hotel. As we're waiting for the Uber, she's taking pictures with me, making sure I have her WhatsApp - I think this is a done deal. Unfortunately, it seems she has to be up early to fly home the next morning and has her friend already asleep in her room. We make out for a little bit in a quiet corner of the hotel lobby for a while, and she makes me promise to text her, as she wants to visit the US again very soon, before going upstairs to go to sleep. We've chatted back and forth, but so far she hasn't told me when or if she will be visiting the US next.
8. In early June I went up to New York to visit my brother and try to film some content for my dating coaching. I'd matched with a girl on Bumble and had been texting pretty regularly for the past week, with plans to see her that next night - I literally drove back early in the morning so I could be home to get ready for this date. I woke up to a text from her stating that she doesn't think this is going to work out and that she's no longer interested. Turns out she found my dating coaching content, unmatched me, and blocked all my pages.
9. Had a girl off of Tinder or Hinge who I'd matched with several times before finally suggest an earlier date time on the night we had picked out. I made a post about this because she had stated a specific cutoff time when she wanted to be home by, which concerned me because I thought I would be wasting my time, as this girl is basically telling me, "Hey, you're definitely not getting laid tonight because I'm cutting our date short so I can wake up early for yoga tomorrow". Went against that intuition to have the experience anyway, and it turned out I was correct. Not only did we not have sex, but she has a rule where she also does not even kiss on a first date. Otherwise, we hit it off - at least I thought we did - because despite her primary complaint with modern dating being that people can't communicate and always end up ghosting one another rather than being upfront, that is EXACTLY what she ended up doing to me.

There are probably a few more that I'm missing, but these are just the ones that come to mind. So what's the point of all this?

When we give you the advice to "approach more women", we do so with the understanding that modern dating DOES suck. I'm a very good-looking guy who has slept with a lot of very good-looking women...I STILL deal with a TON of bullsh**, as you can clearly see. 1 in 4 men aged 18-30 haven't had sex in at least a year. 74% of "young adult" women and 64% of "young adult" men haven't dated or have only dated a few times in the past year. Hell, even Aaron Rodgers is out here getting cucked by his own wife.

The purpose of that advice is to help you AVOID becoming part of those statistics. Because when I go to these bars, I do not see guys dancing with, talking to, or kissing these women. I see them huddled in a corner with their friends, dancing by themselves, and getting wasted.

All this to say you have a choice:

Resign, give up, and become part of that statistic.

Or...

Do the hard thing, fail a bunch, but also succeed a bunch. Because if you want to win, you have to play the game.

PS: Apologies for the text wall...I was hoping putting this in list format would be EASIER to read, but I can't add any line spacing between entries...

 

[Cheeky_James]

Wow. That’s 17 all up.

Seriously BPH, check out Brent Smiths old stuff about flipping the chase dynamic . His explanation makes total sense .

Women being hypergamous, They want to feel like they are the one doing the chasing (110%)

Check out his story

 

[AntoniousIV]

When we give you the advice to "approach more women", we do so with the understanding that modern dating DOES suck. I'm a very good-looking guy who has slept with a lot of very good-looking women...I STILL deal with a TON of bullsh**, as you can clearly see. 1 in 4 men aged 18-30 haven't had sex in at least a year. 74% of "young adult" women and 64% of "young adult" men haven't dated or have only dated a few times in the past year. Hell, even Aaron Rodgers is out here getting cucked by his own wife.

The purpose of that advice is to help you AVOID becoming part of those statistics. Because when I go to these bars, I do not see guys dancing with, talking to, or kissing these women. I see them huddled in a corner with their friends, dancing by themselves, and getting wasted.

All this to say you have a choice:

Resign, give up, and become part of that statistic.

Or...

Do the hard thing, fail a bunch, but also succeed a bunch. Because if you want to win, you have to play the game.

PS: Apologies for the text wall...I was hoping putting this in list format would be EASIER to read, but I can't add any line spacing between entries...

You really put yourself out there man. I admire that.

I recently got rejected at a wedding. A girl was looking in my general direction, wasn't sure if she was looking at me exactly. Approached, apparently she didn't have a phone number, so I settled for instagram. Needless to say she didn't accept me on ig.

Stings, but it's interesting how easy it is to talk to girls. Even though I'm usually kinda introvered. When I went up to her I felt some excitement while going to her table, and things went fine I was high energy. But maybe I got a little to excited, and she noticed that in my demeanor.

 

[zekko]

Wow, sounds rough out there.

 

[behimo]

sounds a lot like strippers

 

[BPH]

Wow. That’s 17 all up.

Seriously BPH, check out Brent Smiths old stuff about flipping the chase dynamic . His explanation makes total sense .

Women being hypergamous, They want to feel like they are the one doing the chasing (110%)

Check out his story

I'll give it a watch when I have time for a 45-minute video. I've never been too much of a fan of trying to get the woman to chase because I think that approach is too passive, especially if we haven't met yet. I got into this because I prefer to be the one who chooses.

I like a lot of Patrice O'Neal's stuff when it comes to one's dating mindset. Though I'm sure he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw the effects social media and OnlyFans have had on turning modern men into simps.

You really put yourself out there man. I admire that.

I recently got rejected at a wedding. A girl was looking in my general direction, wasn't sure if she was looking at me exactly. Approached, apparently she didn't have a phone number, so I settled for instagram. Needless to say she didn't accept me on ig.

Stings, but it's interesting how easy it is to talk to girls. Even though I'm usually kinda introvered. When I went up to her I felt some excitement while going to her table, and things went fine I was high energy. But maybe I got a little to excited, and she noticed that in my demeanor.

Good on you for approaching. What I will say is that if a girl gives you an excuse like that for not being able to give you her phone number, she's not interested. Everybody has a phone number because everybody has a phone - she had to download Instagram from the App Store ON HER PHONE.

In the future, recognize that and call it out. Don't be butthurt about it, but just say something like, "Hey, if you're not interested, it's cool. I just thought you were cute and wanted to say hi. Enjoy your night," then leave. Ejecting on a high note, on your terms, is better than becoming one of her followers to give her free attention and likes on Instagram so she can get a dopamine hit from total strangers.

 

[Sega Genesis]

My thoughts fwiw:

Per Brent Smith's video:

"Stop asking for their contact information and give them yours."

^^This might be worth considering BPH. Many women feel uncomfortable giving personal contact info to a stranger she just met; there are several reasons why that I won't get into but anyway....

So don't bother asking for hers just tell her you really enjoyed meeting/talking with her (insert compliment) and give her yours and invite her to reach out anytime. This of course is after talking with her for awhile and clicking.

IF she is interested she will text you.

It's what my new guy did with me after he approached me at a party and we talked, bantered, flirted and basically had fun for several hours! While mingling with others too.

At first I was put off and almost didn't text! Because I've become so accustomed to the man asking for mine but several men on a different forum (mostly women but a few men) and my brother convinced me to text.

So I got over myself lol and texted him saying hi. HE took the ball from there and we are still dating.

I am not chasing him though like Brent Smith preaches. He leads, I respond. Masculine/feminine polarity and all that.

Isn't there a dating app where women are the first to initiate? Is it Bumble? The woman makes first contact and if the guy is interested, he will take the ball and lead from there?

I dunno worth considering?

 

[Clockwerk50]

As I stated before, the reality is that every time you get a girl, you are taking her from someone else. And taking your point into account, unless a woman is completely dissatisfied with her current situation, she has little reason to make a change. If you analyze your hot streak in May, several of the women you slept with were dealing with an ex-boyfriend who had cheated on them, including one who was sleeping on the couch, while another had just recently broken up with her ex. I might be wrong but there was someone who recently lost a family member. There were a few others I might be forgetting. That doesn't take anything away from what you accomplished, but it does show how much timing and circumstances can influence who is receptive at a given time. And the best way to hunt has always been to keep putting yourself out there.

Either way, I appreciate the vulnerability. Most of us go through rough patches in the dating game. One of my plates that kind of broke a year ago, I saw her on Monday and asked her if she was happy. She said she was. She found a new man, and I felt like I got punched in the gut because I realized I was no longer part of her life and was not needed anymore.

I guess I'm just brainstorming here, but my point is that as long as we think about things logically, don't dwell on things, and actually do something about them, we can keep moving forward.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Anyone who does anything in life to succeed at it wildly will have a large collection of L's especially at the beginning as they are learning that get smaller as you continue onward and improving but will never go away fully.

The people who claim they never get turned down do so because they never approach enough for it to happen.

The people who want to "eliminate" being turned down are simply eliminating their ability to succeed since being turned down is all based on the number of approaches done.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I'll give it a watch when I have time for a 45-minute video. I've never been too much of a fan of trying to get the woman to chase because I think that approach is too passive, especially if we haven't met yet. I got into this because I prefer to be the one who chooses.

I like a lot of Patrice O'Neal's stuff when it comes to one's dating mindset. Though I'm sure he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw the effects social media and OnlyFans have had on turning modern men into simps.

These 2 videos nutshell his practice in under 5 mins

Love his text game

But the longer on details his change from a ‘Master Persuer’ / number collector over to his new approach to women. And the much better effort - reward ratio.

i always back to Brent’s stuff , the gold standard

his maxims are funny AF too.
“The more you tell them, the more you repel them”

Soooo true.
Women are always reading the bigger pictures around that communication stuff, and rationalising ‘hes chasing, he doesn’t easily get girls like me’.

we had an old maxim in my day.
“Treat them mean, keep them keen”
Same kind of idea around comms.