"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Lisa ann on digital pimps:)

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
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Hate these bitches :)!!
Such happenings predate OF and the internet itself. Ex. Those who first recruited Traci Lords were well aware that she was much younger than her physique implied, yet that didn't prevent them from milking TL for every penny they could acquire, then claiming:

"She conned us... We had no idea she wasn't 18+ when we began casting her"

Washing their mits of her without a microsecond's hesitation, once the truth came to light. Our refusal to discuss these facts of life with our daughters("Anyone who's not with Ford or Elite, yet offering you quick cash in exchange for taking your clothes off, is someone to avoid. If you're serious about modelling, sign with someone reputable")is no less a dereliction of duty than failing to inform our sons:


"Chances of you making it to The NFL or The NBA are more non-existent than Hilary Clinton enjoying a career revival, at some point in the remainder of this millennium... Focus 98% of your energies on acquiring skills that'll make you marketable to a high paying, non-celebrity employers"
 
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eli77

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Such happenings predate OF and the internet itself. Ex. Those who first recruited Traci Lords were well aware that she was much younger than her physique implied, yet that didn't prevent them from milking TL for every penny they could acquire, then claiming:

"She conned us... We had no idea she wasn't 18+ when we began casting her"

Washing their mits of her without a microsecond's hesitation, once the truth came to light. Our refusal to discuss these facts of life with our daughters("Anyone who's not with Ford or Elite, yet offering you quick cash in exchange for taking your clothes off, is someone to avoid. If you're serious about modelling, sign with someone reputable")is no less a dereliction of duty than failing to inform our sons:


"Chances of you making it to The NFL or The NBA are more non-existent than Hilary Clinton enjoying a career revival, at some point in the remainder of this millennium... Focus 98% of your energies on acquiring skills that'll make you marketable to a high paying, non-celebrity employers"
preach to them:)
 

eli77

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2013
Messages
2,712
Reaction score
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Location
Miami fl
Such happenings predate OF and the internet itself. Ex. Those who first recruited Traci Lords were well aware that she was much younger than her physique implied, yet that didn't prevent them from milking TL for every penny they could acquire, then claiming:

"She conned us... We had no idea she wasn't 18+ when we began casting her"

Washing their mits of her without a microsecond's hesitation, once the truth came to light. Our refusal to discuss these facts of life with our daughters("Anyone who's not with Ford or Elite, yet offering you quick cash in exchange for taking your clothes off, is someone to avoid. If you're serious about modelling, sign with someone reputable")is no less a dereliction of duty than failing to inform our sons:


"Chances of you making it to The NFL or The NBA are more non-existent than Hilary Clinton enjoying a career revival, at some point in the remainder of this millennium... Focus 98% of your energies on acquiring skills that'll make you marketable to a high paying, non-celebrity employers"
true!
 
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