When it comes to marriage and career women:

itouchyou

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Question for some of you older folks, or folks who have been married.

If you date a woman who's a doctor or lawyer; do you find that you miss out on some of the more feminine aspects of a relationship?

Few examples:
Cooking for you
Prioritizing life outside of work
Spending time with you
In general, being nurturing/soft/supportive

I'm starting to wonder if as an older man in his 30s, I should be targeting women with less intense careers.
 

Ricky

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Married to a nurse.
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Started before she finished a nursing degree but the stress of the profession hardens them
 

itouchyou

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Married to a nurse.
Problems
Started before she finished a nursing degree but the stress of the profession hardens them
I'm a pretty masculine guy who's gone through some pretty rough psychological pain through my life. What would really make me happy is someone soft and nurturing. And I'm wondering if a career woman would be able to give me that.
 

BPH

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It should be pretty obvious by now that women who choose to compete in male-dominated fields are sacrificing their femininity to do so.

The requirements to succeed in those types of careers involve constant self-improvement, long hours, working weekends, and a good bit of selfishness, since the primary motivator would be money.

A lot of those women live to regret that decision when they're in their mid-30s, unmarried, no kids, with their looks fading. Men will still choose them, but they aren't the men those women want.

My most recent ex was very wealthy, and while she could definitely be very sweet and caring, it was more common for her to throw money at problems and hold her income over people's heads as a way to show that she was superior.

If you are not "doing better" than these types of women, it will be impossible for her to respect you, and those relationships will fail.
 

TheMale

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It all comes down to what you want in a woman.

Your non negotiable...
Your nice to.have...
And your "i dont care"...

Only you define what you want in a relationship and then choose a woman based on that.

For example, i want a woman whos feminine, focuses on the children and the home, and makes the house an environment i want to be in where i dont need to constantly compete with her...

So i naturally look for woman who are open to that. And before i seriously date a girl, i ask her if shes open to that kind of relationship. This way i save time and energy on a pretty frustrating relationship.
 

BaronOfHair

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A long time ago, I recall seeing a true crime show in which one of the interviewees remarked that women with MDs are mostly in the market for men they can boss around... My couple of dalliances with gals like this in RL bear that assessment out

Lawyers are hit and miss when it comes to casual flings. Never found any of them fit for an LTR, and I don't believe it a coincidence that most women in the legal profession marry other lawyers
 

The Duke

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I think it depends on how you were raised and what you expect out of your significant other.

I've had all different types:

#1
My exwife never wanted to be an executive level woman but she did want to advance in her career and she did. She never wanted kids, never had that nurturing mom instinct, but she was supportive. She was secure, rational, confident, and never got emotional. Very easy to get a long with and thats what made our relationship great. She did most of the household chores and I took care of the cars, the yard, and fixed everything. We were a solid team together. I got all of my needs met. She was kind of a guy's girl. Never into gossip, romance novels or any type of girl drama.

#2
Another one of my long term relationships was with a girl that was a high level executive that worked for some well known companies. She made lots of money and traveled a lot. In the beginning she was in between jobs for over half a year and she was sweet and had a submissive side. Once she went back to work, the sweetness went away, and her focus was always on her job. She barely cooked, didn't want to help or support me with my hobby but I was expected to take care of her duties when she was gone or too busy with work. Her boss was her priority on a regular basis. Our plans got changed because of what her boss wanted and it was often last minute. The higher up she went, the more money she made, and the more selfish she became. She threw a lot of money at her problems. She needed a man she could tell what to do and that wasn't me. Her mother treated her father that way as well. I never required very much but it got too lopsided for too long so I gave up. Her lack of empathy led to her demise. She was femine on the outside, but not so much on the inside. She never had or wanted kids either.

#3
My current LTR is the most feminine woman I have ever been with. She has kids from previous marriage and we have a large age gap. She doesn't make a ton of money but she isn't broke either. This girl is a huge supporter, very kind, excellent cook, excellent at cleaning. She puts others first a lot of the time. She doesn't care about my money and is not materialistic at all. She views relationship roles like women did in 1950 America. She is very submissive, nurturing, and thoughtful. She desires and respects masculinity but she can figure it out by herself if she has to. She wants to be by myside. The negative side is she gets jealous, tiny bit insecure, and has some strong emotions, however she keeps that in check most of the time and knows when she is about to push things too far. She wants to spend lots of time together. She looks to me for everything and expects that. There are many roles I play for her. She requires a lot but gives even more. Our relationship flows very well and we compliment each other nicely.

What I've learned over the years is the most feminine women want more masculine men. They also want kids. Their careers will never be their focus, you and those kids will be.

The less feminine women will be the exact opposite to varying degrees. They will be more like men. Less willing to bend, less willing to make you a priority.

A guy also has to understand what kind of woman he can be successful with. I don't think I would have been successful with #3 in my younger years. I was too independent, not a beta but I didn't lead the relationship enough and didn't understand female behavior like I should have, nor was I as forgiving over small things. At the time what I valued in a woman was different as well.

The older I get the more I appreciate more feminine women and value traditional gender roles. For me, it's what works best. The more feminine woman also keeps me engaged more and I need that. I want a woman that knows I am going to do my thing and she can come along for the ride and I have that in #3.
 
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I got married last year to a woman I first met in my college days. She went to law school and became a law researcher.

She is also, by far, the most feminine woman I've ever been with in my life.

She comes home from work and decompresses by cooking like she's a world-renown chef. She regularly bangs my brains out and walks around in lingerie half the time she's home. She speaks with kindness in her voice, and we've never been in a real "fight" before - occasionally when she's annoyed me she'll actually sit down and we can talk about it. In fact, I've never heard her yell or get overly angry a day in her life (except for when she's watching a football game). And she doesn't get mad when I play video games because she ALSO plays video games!

She also grew up in a 2-parent household and adored her father. I find most women that come from 2-parent households where there was love and respect for the father have been the women I've dated that had the most class, the least amount of drama, and have been all-around good people. So, while I think women being in a more masculine profession can result in them being less feminine at home, I have yet to experience that as my reality.
 

BadBoy89

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Cooking for you
Prioritizing life outside of work
Spending time with you
In general, being nurturing/soft/supportive
This has nothing to do with doctor or lawyer.

No women does this in 2026.
 

RangerMIke

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How someone was actually raised in childhood has more to do with her ability to succeed in a relationship then any career path she takes. This is true for men as well as women.

I know highly driven professional women that make their marriages work. I know women that are tradcon, that want to just be homemakers fail in their marriages.

It is the number of life distractions someone has, and the inability or interest in making the relationship a priority that screws up relationship. If a woman prioritizes work, children, other activities consistently ahead of their relationship, and taking their partner for granted... sows the seeds of failure.

BTW, you can say the same thing about men.
 

Doctor Europeo

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I got married last year to a woman I first met in my college days. She went to law school and became a law researcher.

She is also, by far, the most feminine woman I've ever been with in my life.

She comes home from work and decompresses by cooking like she's a world-renown chef. She regularly bangs my brains out and walks around in lingerie half the time she's home. She speaks with kindness in her voice, and we've never been in a real "fight" before - occasionally when she's annoyed me she'll actually sit down and we can talk about it. In fact, I've never heard her yell or get overly angry a day in her life (except for when she's watching a football game). And she doesn't get mad when I play video games because she ALSO plays video games!

She also grew up in a 2-parent household and adored her father. I find most women that come from 2-parent households where there was love and respect for the father have been the women I've dated that had the most class, the least amount of drama, and have been all-around good people. So, while I think women being in a more masculine profession can result in them being less feminine at home, I have yet to experience that as my reality.
Nice, bro! She sounds like a keeper
 

Hal9000

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Its hard to make generalizations. My wife and all of her female friends are engineers. Thats a very male dominated world but these are all very feminine women, at least when I see them in a social environment. They probably have a less feminine side at work that serves them well but they are all into their hair, makeup, shoes, handbags, etc that you'd associate with women embracing their feminine side to go along with active social lives and seem genuinely enjoyable to be around socially. I could see how, for some women, it might be harder to compartmentalize their professional and personal lives so they arent bringing their ball buster work personas home, especially when they're younger.
 
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