To find a cheater

[AntoniousIV]

Is there some way to sniff out if a girl's cheated? Is there some way to know if she's been with another dude for example at a party?

Short inquiry, but it seems important. I think a lot of people have atleast a small fear of getting cheated on.

Wonder how someone could deal with this fear, or atleast find out if it's rational or not.

 

[BPH]

How do you know if a woman is cheating without proof?

I'll give you an example of why this occurred to me. My friend's girlfriend, I've always had a gut feeling that she's not as good a woman as she appears in public. A year ago, a guy contacted her, and it seems she's emotionally distanced herself, so it's been tough for a few months. The...

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Signs of Cheating

From a red-pill perspective, what are considered the strongest signs of possible cheating? I ask because practitioners such as Rollo Tomassi often emphasize a “gut check” and others like Richard Cooper paying attention to a partner’s reaction when you ask about or look at her phone. However...

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2 active threads on this exact topic, less than a week old...

 

[BaronOfHair]

Is there some way to sniff out if a girl's cheated?

Fork over the $$$$$$$$$ on a first rate PI, who'll subsequently conduct an exhaustive, months long investigation of this gal. He'll probably even provide you with measurements of her boogers, and documentation of how times she's wiped her ass over the past several weeks

Otherwise, you can keep things economical: If things have run their course, you can pull her close for a kiss to forehead, wish her well, then move on to the next adventure

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is this coming from your own insecurity or is there a legitimate reason you are asking?

A woman you saw like 3 times that lives 2+ hours away from you and that you had sex with once isn't a valid application of this. It's not a relationship to anyone but you.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I can already assure that she cheated on you

 

[AntoniousIV]

Is this coming from your own insecurity or is there a legitimate reason you are asking?

A woman you saw like 3 times that lives 2+ hours away from you and that you had sex with once isn't a valid application of this. It's not a relationship to anyone but you.

No legitimate reason tbf. I was just curious.

Also even in a non relationship. Who would want a girl that he's seeing and being intimate with to be with another person. Sure technically it"s not cheating but it's still hurts.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No legitimate reason tbf. I was just curious.

Also even in a non relationship. Who would want a girl that he's seeing and being intimate with to be with another person. Sure technically it"s not cheating but it's still hurts.

Because it isn't an exclusive relationship and until it is you shouldn't care what she does when she isn't with you.

She isn't your concern

 

[Barrister]

No legitimate reason tbf. I was just curious.

Also even in a non relationship. Who would want a girl that he's seeing and being intimate with to be with another person. Sure technically it"s not cheating but it's still hurts.

If it is a "non-relationship," then it isn't "cheating." Cheating is impossible because there is no verbal promise to be monogamous. Under those circumstances, people can't be considered cheaters.

To answer your original question of "how do you know without proof" -- you know that bad feeling in your gut that something just isn't quite right. Well, usually it is correct. Women begin phasing out an LTR way before the actual breakup occurs -- and many times this involves at a minimum some type of emotional validation from another male source. That is that bad gut feeling 9/10 times.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If it is a "non-relationship," then it isn't "cheating." Cheating is impossible because there is no verbal promise to be monogamous. Under those circumstances, people can't be considered cheaters.

To answer your original question of "how do you know without proof" -- you know that bad feeling in your gut that something just isn't quite right. Well, usually it is correct. Women begin phasing out an LTR way before the actual breakup occurs -- and many times this involves at a minimum some type of emotional validation from another male source. That is that bad gut feeling 9/10 times.

And also showing disinterested in sex, canceling dates, disinterst in seeing you, making excuses for why she can't that don't really make sense, or that are extremely minimal that she has gone well above and beyond multiple times prior to ensure she saw you.

These are all signs you are becoming a much lower priority to her and things are changing internally.

Regardless of whether she has or is cheating, these are signs the relationship is heading down the toilet bowl and you have limited time to reverse it or else you should pull the plug first.

 

[Clockwerk50]

So much infatuation with this topic, and knowing OP, this is similar to when you go to WebMD when you're sick and convince yourself there are more things wrong with you than there actually are.

For those worrying about cheating, the process has always been the same. No woman who sees you as her best option is going to want to cheat on you, so the idea isn't even going to be particularly appealing to her. If you constantly have to look over your shoulder, you're either insecure, have low self-esteem, or you're not providing enough value in the relationship to feel secure in your position.

 

[AntoniousIV]

And also showing disinterested in sex, canceling dates, disinterst in seeing you, making excuses for why she can't that don't really make sense, or that are extremely minimal that she has gone well above and beyond multiple times prior to ensure she saw you.

These are all signs you are becoming a much lower priority to her and things are changing internally.

Regardless of whether she has or is cheating, these are signs the relationship is heading down the toilet bowl and you have limited time to reverse it or else you should pull the plug first.

Yeah I was too distrant. And maybe that's fine in the beginning, but not after she slept with me. Now I reply normally, and I say lovey dovey things through text. And things seem to be fine.

I dont wanna devalue my attention. But I also don't wanna seem like im withdrawing. Can't seem to find the balance.

Also I think the distance is what sucks in my situation. But I move there in 3 weeks. So we'll be able to see eachother more often. That should be great.

I read a post that said not to see her to often to prevent familiarity. So that we don't get bored of eachother. It said to see eachother once a week at a random day. Is this also a bad rule?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I was too distrant. And maybe that's fine in the beginning, but not after she slept with me. Now I reply normally, and I say lovey dovey things through text. And things seem to be fine.

I dont wanna devalue my attention. But I also don't wanna seem like im withdrawing. Can't seem to find the balance.

Also I think the distance is what sucks in my situation. But I move there in 3 weeks. So we'll be able to see eachother more often. That should be great.

I read a post that said not to see her to often to prevent familiarity. So that we don't get bored of eachother. It said to see eachother once a week at a random day. Is this also a bad rule?

Unfortunately, the only way you will learn for the most part is through trial and error. No matter what we tell you or what you read, you still have to put it into practice and it still has to fit with the overall way you act in general.

So, that's the biggest piece of advice I can give. You have to accept failing is a part of learning what does and doesn't work and then as you adapt those parts you begin to start having more success over time.

Essentially, don't allow yourself to get bummed out because it's simply a giant feedback loop. You are continuously getting feedback of what is working or not working and then you need to analyze and adjust.

But also don't go the other direction either where you over analyze and start changing all different things at the same time so you have no idea what part caused the result to change either. They should be like a controller experiment almost where you change one thing and then evaluate the result from it and over time you'll start to see an accumulation of those build up and help guide you to where you want to go.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Is there some way to sniff out if a girl's cheated? Is there some way to know if she's been with another dude for example at a party?

Short inquiry, but it seems important. I think a lot of people have atleast a small fear of getting cheated on.

Wonder how someone could deal with this fear, or atleast find out if it's rational or not.

Hey guy, they ALL cheat.

Especially in this day and age with OLD and social media. If you go into a relationship, you almost have to expect to be cheated on. Just the way it is. Most are physical/s*xual affairs. Many have emotional affairs with other men too.

Women are absolutely famous for keeping a stable relationship with a decent, caring guy but then cheating with the loser bartender or some other guy because it’s exciting and naughty. They LOVE the stability – instability dynamic and LOVE the excitement of the “other guy” all while enjoying the stability of the good guy they have at home. Eventually, they get found out and will cry and plead for the good guy to stay, bla. bla, bla, which the guy usually does.

This is why women often date loser and abusive guys, so they can "feel" something. Really f*cked up, I know. Many will reject the guy with theatre tickets but f*ck the drug addict guy who slaps her around on the regular. They think solid, stable guys are too boring. Man, It's happened to me and I've seen this over and over and over in my decades of dating. This is why women file for 80% of all divorces and there are thousands of videos online now from women who divorced their husband but go on and on about what a great guy he was, but they just weren't "feeling" it.

Tough reality for 2026, but an immutable law of relationships these days.

Good luck to you.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Hi @AntoniousIV . Assume most women are not wife material, until proven otherwise.

I don't think there's a foolproof way to know, and trying to become a human lie detector can drive you crazy. The better approach is to pay attention to her actions, consistency, and behavior over time rather than relying only on words.

Is she reliable? Honest? Does what she says generally match what she does?

At the same time, I wouldn't assume guilt by default either. Most relationships involve some degree of trust, and trust is usually built gradually through repeated experiences and consistent behavior.
If your fear is very strong, it can also be useful to ask whether it's based on specific red flags in this particular relationship or on a more general fear of being betrayed.

 

[AntoniousIV]

Hi @AntoniousIV . Assume most women are not wife material, until proven otherwise.

I don't think there's a foolproof way to know, and trying to become a human lie detector can drive you crazy. The better approach is to pay attention to her actions, consistency, and behavior over time rather than relying only on words.

Is she reliable? Honest? Does what she says generally match what she does?

At the same time, I wouldn't assume guilt by default either. Most relationships involve some degree of trust, and trust is usually built gradually through repeated experiences and consistent behavior.
If your fear is very strong, it can also be useful to ask whether it's based on specific red flags in this particular relationship or on a more general fear of being betrayed.

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