A little update here.
The blind-date girl texted me asking if I was going to be available sometime during the next few weekdays to do the plan I had suggested. Somehow, I misread her message and thought she was asking about the weekend, so I told her, “I’m not going to be able to this weekend, but we can try the following one.”
Aaaand she got kind of annoyed and replied, “I asked about the following weekday, not the weekend. But ok.”
I answered, “Oh, my bad. I don’t know why I read ‘weekend,’ but yeah, sure. Is Monday good for you?”
She replied, “No, I’m busy on Monday.” Of course, part of me felt like that was because she was annoyed lol, but I figured annoyed is better than indifferent or bored.
So I asked, “When are you going to be available then?”
She said, “Tuesday.”
I told her, “Sure, that can work,” and after that we went back to texting like usual.
I have a feeling this is going to be a fun one once I actually meet her lol. I’ll send her a confirmation message tomorrow so we can figure out the details for Tuesday.
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Today I got back from the date with the girl I’d been talking to on Hinge for more than a month. We hadn’t met sooner because she lives pretty far from me. Funny how a girl I was just texting to **** around because she answered once a day, ended up being the most interested in going out with me. I guess, there was commitment when she never stopped answering me.
I’d read the advice about doing ACTION dates, and I was TIRED of ****ing drinks and coffee. In my mind, if I was going all the way to her city, I might as well do something that would also be fun and rewarding for me. So I told her, “Let’s go to this museum.” She agreed, and I met her there at 11:00 a.m.
I had fun. I saw animals, learned some interesting stuff, and genuinely enjoyed the place.
I’d also been reading some things about talking to women. I used to talk A LOT. This time, I didn’t. I mostly added comments here and there and kept asking HER questions. Every once in a while, I shared something deeper about myself, but for the most part, the focus was on her telling me stories.
And I guess she really enjoyed doing that because, let me tell you, she could’ve talked her way to sex. She talked A LOT, and it wasn’t boring at all.
Physical contact during the museum was light and playful.
Before, I was always thinking things like, “Now I have to escalate,” “Now I have to flirt,” “Now I have to qualify her.” Like, WTF. It’s boring even typing that out, and it kind of dehumanizes the whole interaction. It turns the other person into a set of buttons you’re supposed to push so everything goes “right.”
This time, I was mostly thinking, “HOW CAN I MAKE THIS FUN FOR ME?” And whatever idea came to mind, I’d just bring her along with me.
I have no idea if I was running some 10/10 “game,” but I had fun. That mattered a lot more.
After the museum, we went downtown because I wanted to see what it was like over there. We walked around and shared some stories (although, again, she did most of the talking lol). Physical contact was still mostly playful: lightly touching her here and there. I could tell she was very comfortable with me being close to her and touching her.
Eventually, we went to a mall to get something to eat. By that point, almost seven or eight hours had gone by, and they had passed surprisingly quickly.
After we ate, we took a short walk. Since it was Sunday and getting late, she eventually had to leave.
While we were waiting for her Uber, I felt like grabbing her hand, so I did.
Not gonna lie, I probably could’ve done it a little more smoothly. We were sitting there waiting for her Uber when I took her hand. At first, she seemed to think I was going to use it as an excuse to comment on something, like, “Oh, I like your rings.”
Instead, I just told her, “I wanted to grab your hand.”
She was basically like, “Oh, okay,” and then closed her fingers around mine and held my hand back.
After that, she became MUCH more comfortable touching me. She started grabbing my face, making playful comments, and generally being a lot more physically affectionate.
When her Uber arrived, I walked her over while holding her hand, waited for her to get in, and said, “Bye. Let me know when you get home.”
She also asked me to let her know when I got back to my place.
Now, here’s the thing: I didn’t go for the kiss.
I didn’t want to.
During this first date, I was still figuring out whether I actually liked her enough. And, as I said, I genuinely DIDN’T WANT TO and DIDN’T AROUSED ENOUGH TO DO IT.
The main physical thing I wanted to do was hold her hand, so I did. I did it because I actually felt like doing it (not because I thought I was supposed to). I also wanted her to understand that I’m romantically interested in her and not just hanging out as a friend.
Maybe I “should” have gone for the kiss, but in my mind, doing that would’ve brought me right back to the feeling of, “I’m doing this because it’s the next item on the checklist, and I want to generate a certain response from you.”
I’ve done that before with other girls. This time, I wanted things to feel authentic to me.
I do want to see her again. I’ll suggest something for next weekend, and if I feel excited about kissing her then, I probably will.
And I think I will, because I definitely found her physically attractive. More importantly, though, she was genuinely fun to hang out with.
