Open my eyes about dating this woman; it's a bit of a unicorn situation.

[itouchyou]

For perspective, I keep one dating app specifically for my ethnicity which I barely use. I'm late 30s and am well put together physically/financially/gamewise. On my profile I had nothing except a couple pics of my face and my location/age/profession.

Anyways - this girl DMs me on the app and this is where it's a unicorn situation. The girl is turning 36 this year, but she is objectively a 10/10 in the face (she looks 10 years younger), and makes north of $500k in the medical field. Because she specialized, she moved around a few times and was generally very busy during residency which is likely one reason why she's still single. Normally if a girl is beyond 32 I wouldn't even bother. But $500k? Looking 10 years younger? Being a 9-10 facially? Respectable, chaste pics on her profile? Unicorn.

She was very high interest in her messages and seemed like she wanted something serious, quickly. She almost seemed naive because women that attractive tend to be cautious about showing interest that easily. We are both indian.

I've seen a couple pics of her with less makeup and her age is visible in the face. Still very attractive but I look 10 years younger by default, without needing makeup.

The thing that really gets me is that even if the relationship progressed quickly, by the time she had her first kid she would be 38 or 39. Not only that but the prospect of me being a guy who can date 10+ years younger and instead being married to a woman who is 40 when I'm 42, is.. a bit of a reality check.

What am I missing? My assessment is that she feels she has time due to looking much younger and making so much money, and that she's really looking for a guy on her looks level who she can count on to start a family quickly and fit her lifestyle. I'm thinking she has very few suitable options (indian, near her age, good looking, in the same city) and she wanted something quickly which explains her interest level.

Marriage is actually what I want, but I'm skeptical of her age.

I'm going to meet her soon but am curious what to look out for.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What am I missing?

A motherfvcking sh*tton.

Some lady DM'd you and you're already planning kids with her?

Ask yourself this.

If she really were all that she seems to be, why doesn't she have thousands of dudes trying to wife her up?

And she DM's you first?

 

[crowolf]

Yea, you shouldn't be so quick to plan your future with a woman you haven't even met yet.

Other than that, you can get into a relationship and see how it works out, but you have to be very aware of everything about her for maybe a year. And not to get played by her. Which I believe will be hard for you, judging by the emotional investment you already have for a stranger woman.

Only time can tell. Maybe she really is some kind of rare diamond, who focused on career and decided not to settle with less. But there might be something fishy about the fact she still hasn't found "the one" yet. Meet her and learn more. And don't be so quick to make serious decisions, based on your emotions.

 

[itouchyou]

A motherfvcking sh*tton.

Some lady DM'd you and you're already planning kids with her?

Ask yourself this.

If she really were all that she seems to be, why doesn't she have thousands of dudes trying to wife her up?

And she DM's you first?

90% of indian dudes are chopped.
The ones that aren't, in her age range, are likely already married.
The ones that are single at that age are beta or have some other glaring deficiency.

I'm single because I literally did not want a relationship for a long time. I pushed quality women away.

I'm very aware she's probably been on a ton of dates and talked to a ton of dudes.

Yea, you shouldn't be so quick to plan your future with a woman you haven't even met yet.

Other than that, you can get into a relationship and see how it works out, but you have to be very aware of everything about her for maybe a year. And not to get played by her. Which I believe will be hard for you, judging by the emotional investment you already have for a stranger woman.

Only time can tell. Maybe she really is some kind of rare diamond, who focused on career and decided not to settle with less. But there might be something fishy that she still hasn't found "the one" yet. Find out more. And don't be so quick to make serious decisions, based on your emotions.

I'm not sure how I came off emotionally invested. The fact I made this thread should show I'm not sold on her yet. My biggest question is what am I potentially missing about her, clearly, which means I'm not sold on her.

However, I'm no young guy myself and marriage/kids IS something I want. When an option like this comes across, it's very surprising and interesting.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

People have different definitions of what is a "Unicorn", but I digress. You havent met her in person yet?

How old aré you? As to what aré you missing, I think you have to meet her in person and vet her for non-negotiables.

 

[itouchyou]

People have different definitions of what is a "Unicorn", but I digress. You havent met her in person yet?

How old aré you? As to what aré you missing, I think you have to meet her in person and vet her for non-negotiables.

She asked me to get drinks, going to see how it goes. I'm late 30s.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She asked me to get drinks, going to see how it goes. I'm late 30s.

Meet first then worry about it. You or her may not want to continue after the first meet up.

 

[Clockwerk50]

This is a little pre-emptive, especially considering you haven’t even met her in person yet. It would take significant time to determine whether she’s actually compatible with you and whether the relationship could realistically lead to something long-term. That said, based on the two parameters you mentioned, here’s how I’d look at it:

The $500k income: There can be great financial advantages to being with someone at that income level, depending on your respective incomes and where you live. There can be benefits involving taxes, mortgages, insurance, estate planning, inheritance, and other miscellaneous financial advantages like combining household expenses, qualifying for better financial products, potentially getting better terms or interest rates on loans, having greater borrowing power, and transferring assets between spouses. On top of that, a $500k household income could give you a significantly better standard of living than you might have on your own, with more flexibility for housing, travel, investing, saving, and other expenses.

Needless to say, at the end of the day, it’s her money, so banking on it as though it automatically becomes your money would be a mistake. But as a potential partner, her income can still be a good financial and lifestyle perk.

Age: Even though she is older, there are fertility treatments such as IVF and IUI that can sometimes help people conceive. However, they can be costly, time-consuming, and physically demanding, and success rates generally decline with age. At 36, fertility is already an important consideration, particularly if having children is a priority and you don’t want to wait several years to make that decision.

Having kids very early in a relationship usually isn’t ideal either because you want enough time to get to know someone and make sure you’re actually compatible before starting a family. The problem is that her age puts some pressure on that timeline, so you may not have the luxury of taking several years to figure things out.

Again, though, this is putting the cart before the horse. You don’t even know if she likes you, if you like her, if you have chemistry, if she wants to have kids, if she’ll be fun to be around, if you will even get to the point that both of you will smash, etc. At the end of the day, these things matter more than either of these factors right now.

 

[Velasco]

def not a unicorn lol

 

[Doctor Europeo]

def not a unicorn lol

I said something like that, in a nicer way I guess

 

[itouchyou]

How is a 35 year old that looks extremely good for her age, pulls in $500k, and doesn't dress slutty, not a unicorn?

Most 35 year olds are not attractive, dress provocatively, and don't pull anywhere near $500k.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Not really the point to disscuss if she Is or Isnt a unicorn. If she's a unicorn to you, that's fine.

Lets not miss the forest for the Trees. I dont think there Is much to do until you meet her in person. Did you guys put a date on It?

 

[plumber]

when you meet up, do it in a public place and keep the interaction in a public place for the first date. do not go to any isolation with her on first meetup. security... for you. it might be great but one bad meet up can be life changing....

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Interested to see what comes of this. She will require (not just need, but require) intelligence, looks, humor, and "shjt togetherness" in a man. You'll need to be confident and grounded. She knows she is beautiful, she has seen a mirror. Be cool, be a gentleman.

But. She will also have had to play down her looks in the medical field to be taken seriously. Its a weird thing in STEM fields. Somehow men doubt competency can exist alondside great beauty, but honestly the two are perfectly capable of coexisting.

This is something I have dealt with throughout my career in a clinical field. Its annoying.

She may be very kind & nuturing as a healthcare provider, or she may be a boss bytch ball buster. You will not know til you meet her.

Curious to hear what OP comes back with.

 

[BadBoy89]

this girl DMs me on the app and this is where it's a unicorn situation. The girl is turning 36 this year, but she is objectively a 10/10 in the face (she looks 10 years younger), and makes north of $500k in the medical field. Because she specialized, she moved around a few times and was generally very busy during residency which is likely one reason why she's still single. Normally if a girl is beyond 32 I wouldn't even bother. But $500k? Looking 10 years younger? Being a 9-10 facially? Respectable, chaste pics on her profile? Unicorn.

I'm going to meet her soon but am curious what to look out for.

At 36 women can easily be Grandmothers.

Ask her when her Grandson is going to be born.

 

[The Duke]

I can't believe someone would give this random woman so much space in their head and they haven't even met yet. Yourself is what you should be looking out for.

 

[Dash Riprock]

For perspective, I keep one dating app specifically for my ethnicity which I barely use. I'm late 30s and am well put together physically/financially/gamewise. On my profile I had nothing except a couple pics of my face and my location/age/profession.

Anyways - this girl DMs me on the app and this is where it's a unicorn situation. The girl is turning 36 this year, but she is objectively a 10/10 in the face (she looks 10 years younger), and makes north of $500k in the medical field. Because she specialized, she moved around a few times and was generally very busy during residency which is likely one reason why she's still single. Normally if a girl is beyond 32 I wouldn't even bother. But $500k? Looking 10 years younger? Being a 9-10 facially? Respectable, chaste pics on her profile? Unicorn.

She was very high interest in her messages and seemed like she wanted something serious, quickly. She almost seemed naive because women that attractive tend to be cautious about showing interest that easily. We are both indian.

I've seen a couple pics of her with less makeup and her age is visible in the face. Still very attractive but I look 10 years younger by default, without needing makeup.

The thing that really gets me is that even if the relationship progressed quickly, by the time she had her first kid she would be 38 or 39. Not only that but the prospect of me being a guy who can date 10+ years younger and instead being married to a woman who is 40 when I'm 42, is.. a bit of a reality check.

What am I missing? My assessment is that she feels she has time due to looking much younger and making so much money, and that she's really looking for a guy on her looks level who she can count on to start a family quickly and fit her lifestyle. I'm thinking she has very few suitable options (indian, near her age, good looking, in the same city) and she wanted something quickly which explains her interest level.

Marriage is actually what I want, but I'm skeptical of her age.

I'm going to meet her soon but am curious what to look out for.

With 99.99% certainty, you are getting catfished. And based on your post, will likely get hooked.

Good luck to you.

 

[Barrister]

"What am I missing?"

When you asked this question I immediately shared your same thought from reading your post. Why are you so hooked on this chick? The $500k per year salary sounds like complete bologna. So she is beautiful and rich and is on a dating app AND opens up men? If you are still buying this, you need to evaluate your own experiences with women and how much you are able to truly understand them. Beautiful women literally have to do NOTHING to attract top tier men outside of looking good. And they also rarely, if ever, need to be on a dating app (except right after an LTR in post relationship phase very briefly) let alone the one to be initiating conversations.

Also - I would almost take the salary as a red flag (or at least an orange one). If she is making exceptional money (doubtful it is half a million per year but even at quarter million) she will be a "career woman" and they bring a different set of challenges to maintaining an LTR. Typically very demanding and operate in their own space 100% of the time. Will cause you plenty of headaches. I have been there.

She is likely very far from "a unicorn." The fact you are jumping to conclusions this quickly is a bad sign and you need to pump the brakes.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@itouchyou "How is a 35 year old that looks extremely good for her age, pulls in $500k, and doesn't dress slutty, not a unicorn?"

My observation:

Gals from highly "tradtional" cultures who've gotten deep into their 30s without marrying or producing offspring are typically troubled in ways which torpedo the prospects of a vibrant LTR, faster than 24's cancelation sank the careers of ALMOST everyone in what amounted to the primary, recurring cast

No matter how liberal/libertarian/Progressive a woman who hails from such a culture might be personally, those social pressures and threats of being ostracized by her kith and kin, if she refuses to get wifed up by 25, are nigh-impossible to for most to withstand

Give it a whirl though, if you've a hankering for an adventure... Maker Of Life knows, there are also likely at least 2 individuals on this planet who've taken on an M-16 wielding henchman for The Gulf Cartel, while themselves armed with only with butter knives, yet miracously lived to regale the rest of us with a detailed after-report of said incident

Anything's possible, however improbable much of what we fantasize about is